Photo: Dejan Marjanovic / E+ / Getty Images
This is just a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting, funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast of today's show. However, if you're looking for a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
Another day, another ailment, as if I wasn't going to open these notes without talking about how they've rebooted Mr. Magoo and to be progressive, made him into a woman and cast Angi in the role. You see, our beloved hostess with the mostest is apparently actually lacking something and that is working eyes. That's right y'all, the bitch is basically blind. As you should know, the only thing holding together this Frankenstein mess is Gorilla Glue and a prayer because she apparently has no time to fill her doctor's appointments (there are too many good documentaries to watch on the couch.) Anyway, the reason they let this ocularly challenged woman onto the streets was she had gotten her nails done yesterday and was walking home. Normally, I'd make a joke about her stumbling because she was drunk but her needing a seeing eye dog and a cane is so much funnier. See, as she was coming down the street, she spotted a man carrying a cute little black puppy in his arms. Easily excited, Angi ran over and went to pet the dog when to her horror she realized that it wasn't a dog at all. For half a second, I almost went the route of that urban legend about the hairless rat but no, the man was not holding a dog. What he actually had wrapped around him was a canvas cross body bag. That's right, this dingdong attempted to pet a man's bag. Obviously, the dude was taken aback as he assumed this deranged older woman was going to rob him. This embarrassment was followed up with a slap in the face when Angi finally got home and was ready for supper (get it, cause she's old.) She ordered soup from a place 2 miles away and while watching the DoorDash app, noticed the driver was looping and going in circles. It took an hour and a half for the driver to arrive across the street and sit outside of a CVS. When he finally turned around and drove to Floptopia, he told her he couldn't find her house and then blamed the construction. The most egregious part though was when he told her "don't forget to tip" as he walked away. Marris suggested she should have just walked to get it but she couldn't because she needed to be home (see: she's lazy.) She was also forced to give him one star instead of zero and also tip ahead so she couldn't give him nothing for bad service. You will be happy to know she did complain to DoorDash and explained her soup being late was totally going to ruin the tour (if you don't get that joke, watch more entertainment news.)
Other Stuff from Today's Show
Now that I tore Angi to shreds, let's move on to the Daily Discussion Topic and look at things that are easy for others but difficult for you. We used some pretty familiar examples off the bat like learning a new language when you're older, doing your taxes and of course, harvesting fresh coconuts (I'm not kidding, Angi said this.) Angi's biggest issue is apparently taking selfies as she is just not good at it. She will take 500 of them and nitpick things in them as a reason not to post them. Marris offered up the easy solution for this problem is to simply not care. Speaking of Marris, he is terrible at remembering names, as is Angi. For Marris, he just gets them wrong all the time but he also meets a ton of people so that's to be expected. Angi's problem is early onset so you know, there's no fixing that. Other things that made the list included basic navigation which Angi used as an excuse to blame men (her favorite pastime.) Parking straight, rolling your R's and shuffling cards were up next and Marris chimed in that he can kind of shuffle but can't do a bridge. Last up were hula hooping (is this the 50's?) and using chopsticks. My contribution is incredibly simple, I can not make myself say "no" to people and it gets me into too many annoying situations because it's hard for me to say the word. With our stuff tackled, we move on to the Request Line to hear from the roadies. Heather kicked us off and talked about driving and not knowing feet, as in she can't calculate how many feet is in actual distance. Also problematic is knowing directions like going west. This is a problem for Angi as well so never let her sail a boat. Allie can't whistle even after practice and watching Youtube videos on how to do it. Angi can whistle but she can't do the fingers in your mouth, hail a taxi whistle. Mike has issues with keeping his mouth shut when talking to his wife which leads to arguments. I didn't realize that Jay the Straight changed his name.... Jen can not with eating veggies, they just don't go in properly. Angi does not have this issue and needs to balance against brown foods. Rich can't spread his fingers and do "The Spock." Rob can not change a tire. Roger is not a fan of golfing but that's because he finds it boring. If you are looking for more roadie thoughts or have your own, hit up our Facebook group (Angi Taylor Show) and drop us a comment.
It was bound to happen so let's just talk about it and keep moving along with our day. Hailey Welch aka the "Hawk Tuah" girl is harnessing her 15 minutes of fame. Unless you live under a rock, you have heard the expression that Hailey dropped while being interviewed about how to please a man. She has apparently signed a deal with UTA and has racked in tens of thousands of dollars in merch sales for her nonsense. That's just the way the world works now, one small thing can make you an overnight star and merch for a hot, stupid trend is the obvious next step (looking at you rat hole.) Angi, who was still using the phrase today, is apparently sick of hearing it and is "over it" (sure bitch.) Marris said that she is at the 10 minute mark of her 15 minutes of fame while Angi feels she is at 14:59. Back to the merch though, she has a hat that looks like another red hat which she sells and will autograph for an extra $44. As said though, she is another in the long line of viral moments "Catch Me Outside" girl and the Ocean Spray Fleetwood Mac skater who live in infamy for a moment but will need to do something more to keep harvesting that public money. In other words, look for her OnlyFans at some point.
Finally, if you were missing The Bear, you're in luck as the new season dropped in full yesterday on Hulu. However, this story is about star Jeremy Allen White who is going to be playing Bruce Springsteen in an upcoming biopic. The movie, called Deliver Me from Nowhere, will be about the creation of Springsteen's Nebraska album. Though he hasn't met Bruce yet, he is saving it so he can do his own process and create his version of the character before he meets the real one. We then discussed how doing a bio pic while someone is still alive must be weird especially after you meet them and worse if you do a bad job and have to face them. Back to The Bear though, Angi is flying tomm so she is going to download and watch them all on the plane. The thing is, she'll be upset when there is no more left to watch and she'll have to rewatch them next year but Marris is going to piecemeal them and savor each one.
Request Wars 3.5
Theme: A Rolling Stones Battle
Current Champion: Marris (6x)
Angi's Song Choice: “Gimme Shelter" by The Rolling Stones
Marris' Song Choice: "Paint It Black" by The Rolling Stones
Winner: Angi
10 O' Clock Toast:
Toastee: The Chicago Poet
Angi got a voicemail from either Walt Whitman, Edgar Allen Poe, Oscar Wilde, Oscar Mayer or Oscar the Grouch. It was a sweet love poem and we put on our slam pottery hats until Angi realized it was for a book and not her. That said, Angi wants paragraphs to read from the roadies tomorrow in her meditative voice.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
"At least I get paid to keep my mouth open." - Angi