This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.

Call in Point:

(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)

So, one of the very few comforts left in life is the indulgence of TV and movies, as they take us away from the reality of the garbage time last year actually was. I would have put drinking on this list as well but let's be real here, I don't have time to hear about how "I have a problem" and "I should be in rehab" again this morning. Anyway, over the last year, 57 billion minutes ofThe Officewere streamed in households. I can honestly understand how this makes sense because before my best friend/roommate died earlier this year, the TV's in the apartment only playedThe Office,Bar RescueorBilly on the Streetany time that he was home. Hearing this factoid made Angi curious and wanting to dig in, what were the roadies personal billion minutes shows? For Abe, it'sSeinfeldwhich Angi jumped on and agreed that she has a billion minutes buried in as well. Abe is a superSeinfeldfan btw owning the DVD's and watching the reruns on cable (like TBS) all the time. The one thing he doesn't do for some reason is stream it which makes sense as it was hard to do up until it was finally added to Netflix fairly recently. As for Angi, she's aPawn Starsgirl through and through but she also diversifies and sprinkles in a ton ofCurb Your Enthusiasmand all of those Real Housewives shows. With their personal picks tossed out to the world, Angi & Abe took to the phones to hear the choices of the roadies. Amy (who may have been the actual Kimmy Schmidt) called in to say that she burrows (this pun works if you've seen the show) inThe Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, a Netflix comedy about a cult survivor who moves to New York. Amy/Kimmy was absolutely offended at the notion that neither of them had actually seen the show. I mean Kimmy/Amy was very enthusiastic about the show and really tried her damndest to get Angi and Abe to watch it. Clearly she doesn't know them well enough because now neither of them will ever turn it on. Roadie Steve checked in to mention that he too has never seenThe Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidtbut his go to show isThat 70's Show. As for Lindsey, she lovesSchitt's Creek, which she declares as amazing.Schitt's Creek, unlike Kimmy Schmidt, is something she actually intends to watch at some point. Brian (a man after my own heart) has seen billions of minutes ofMarried with Children. Michael Scott (no lie) called in to say that yes, he has watched billions of minutes ofThe Office(welcome to the club.) He then proceeded to ramble on about his back or something and yeah, that derailed all the good faith he built in me. Tony is also an Office guy, but that comes second toThe King of Queensfor him. As for myself, aside fromMarried with ChildrenandThe Office, my top 3 areAmerican Dad,South ParkandWill & Gracebecause I'm a massive gay manchild.

All the Rest:

Hmm, let's go over a list shall we. It's dark outside until like 8 A.M. every day. Out all over the planet there are countless fires burning down tons of land. We are burning through hurricane names this season faster than cash when Angi & Abe see a casino. There's that pesky pandemic that is killing a ton of people and causing people to stop working from home. William Shatner touched the tip of the atmosphere in a penis rocket within five minutes and was back to Earth faster than Abe can walk to Popeyes down the street. All of these end of times scenarios (including the breaking in of the Emergency Alert System) this morning during a spin of "It's the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine) clearly indicated that we are in the end of times. It's for this reason that it was no surprise to Angi when she saw on the WGN news this morning that an Alaskian fire was raging. Though it was weird according to Abe because the entire place is just ice and snow right? Anyway, it turns out that Angi is blind because that was not at all what the headline said but her "Double Vision" (yeah, I just did that) made her see what was clearly not there. Here's the problem though, Angi is not a good candidate for LASIK surgery because she has gimp, weird shaped eyeballs. That's right, according to the doctor her eyes are wonky in their shape and size and the laser would end up just slicing them in half instead of doing its proper job (or something, I'm not an eye doctor.) Speaking of eyes, show staple of "waking up the two degenerates that we love as show hosts" Dunkin', has a new peanut butter macchiato and spider doughnut on their Fall menu. What is a spider doughnut you ask? Well, it's a doughnut with spider eyes on it (gee, thanks Angi.) While Angi is fiending for this peanut butter macchiato, Abe went on to discuss that the only way he enjoys his peanut butter is on burgers. Angi, rightfully so, was shook by this seemingly disgusting revelation. The conversation continued on about peanut butter and banana sandwiches and the Fat Elvis burgers. Angi was having none of this and said it was all disgusting sounding. People though are seemingly nuts and do weird stuff like put peanut butter on their burgers and mayo in their coffee. God, this topic even has me disgusted now. Anyway, as I said Angi wants one but apparently the Dunkin' in the iHeart building is following the pandemic rules that have become so hot these days. You know, the ones where people don't show up to work and when they do, the timing is completely random. For example, the Dunkin' downstairs does not open until noon ... sometimes. Either way, this whole mess of peanut butter and world ending world salad with Angi and Abe both confused as to what day it is today. Honestly, after typing all this out, I'm not even certain what planet I'm on anymore right now.

Let's just move along from confusion to crazy fun because that should get these notes back on track. Beloved old man and noted rock star Mick Jagger has been really exercising his right to party as of late starting with visiting dive bars in cities he's playing at and going unnoticed to now crashing bachelorette parties. The other day, while hanging around in Nashville, he decided to crash a bachelorette party on a whim. He jumped on their pedal tavern and ended up riding a mechanical bull. Prior to this, mind you, he went to a karaoke spot and sang "Honky Tonk Woman." This wild free spirit behavior inspired Angi, to probably start drinking fingers of Jack Daniels in the studio but also to want to hear about crazy things that have happened at bachelor/bachelorette parties. Like, this could be your own or ones that you've attended but she wanted to hear wild. Abe broke out the classic story of the bachelor party that he went to where the strippers brought a drilldo with them. That's right, a drilldo aka a dildo attached to a drill. Abe had to dance around the wording of this just in case but I think it's okay to say it since we've heard and discussed this story before. There was a momentary tour into a discussion of a double sided dildo and then we got to fondly recall that amazing ass to ass scene in Requiem for a Dream. I should add that it's amazing to me, Abe and Angi are both disgusted by the thought of recalling it. Before going to the phones, Abe had a question for Angi (you already know this is going to be good.) When she goes to bachelorette parties, does she always grab the noodle (the creativity of rewording on this show is astounding.) He explained that a male stripper will come out and throw a towel on his junk and then the thirsty chicks will all take turns grabbing it with the towel on it. All I want to know is where is this mess occurring and how the hell do I get an invite to it? Angi too seemed to be confused about this wild party favor and explained that she's only been to one bachelorette party with a male stripper at it. For the most part, it's bar crawls and just being messy degenerate women who break out into fights because any time women get drunk together, there's always an issue. For the record, I can attest to that the bachelorette parties I've been to did not have strippers but messy women acting up. We really need to talk to our Head Roadie of Male Strippers Sammy Hardwood and his brother Dong Hardwood (or something like that, apparently he's hot.) Anyway, we did get to the phones and because I'm a ding dong who, I forgot to write down the name of the caller with the amazing bachelor party story. At his brother-in-law's bachelor party, there was a taco truck, poker all over the place, two topless bartenders, and 13 strippers that also did a fire show as well. There were roughly 50 guys there (I mean that totally makes sense.) Needless to say, Angi and Abe demanded that they be invited to the next one of these. Tom called in to talk about how they went to a strip club but a bunch of guys were underage so they used military ID's to get them in. Ian was at the bachelor party for his friend who had his first marriage. Also in attendance was Big Britney, who was 6'3 and weighed about 280. She proceeded to have the groom do shots off her body and when he got to her belly, he threw up all over her. After cleaning up, she decided to stay as I'm assuming that isn't the worst thing that's been tossed off onto her stomach.

Finally, let's take a moment to indulge in a little bit of fantasy on several different levels. Pretend for just a second that you're flying (1) and you're with your child (2) and you're offered an upgrade (3,) would you leave the kid behind so you could go live it up in first class? Well, for 4 out of 10 parents, they would totally be willing to throw little Timmy to the molesters and flight attendant spies. Of those polled, 9% of people are willing to look at it on an age basis. As for the average age of a kid that gets dumped in coach, that would be 13. For the actual parent on the show, Angi said that she wouldn't feel comfortable at all leaving her 16 year old daughter behind. This basically comes down to knowing what kind of creeps or disgusting perverts are sitting there just waiting to pounce. This also opened up a secondary question about whether one would be upset in a scenario where one partner took an upgrade and left the other behind. This was illustrated by a recently used example where Angi was on a flight back from Vegas and the boss and his wife were on the same flight. The wife came and sat with fancy Angi in first class while her boss was banished to the broken seats over in economy. Turning to Abe, he admitted that he would take the upgrade in a heartbeat and leave Cathy Tropicana to the wolves. She should be the gentlewoman in the relationship after all as he has long legs and she is tiny so he needs the space. In fact, he actually usually sits in the emergency seat because there is no seat in front and he can stretch out. When pressed about helping in an emergency, he says that he'll help out but realistically, if things went wrong he would jump out the window. Angi said she would feel bad for Jay the Straight (I think that is an outright lie but still.) However, Jay the Straight has a ton of miles since he's always traveling for work but when they go as is, he tends to get a ton of upgrades and leave her rotting in the back with the dogs and luggage. However, Angi is an easy date after all and all you need to calm her is throw her some free drinks. This is why it's essential for her to be in first class as that's the only place you can get booze on a plane anymore apparently.

Request Wars 2.0:

Champion: Abe (Streak: 1)

Angi's (repping Nikki) Song Choice: "Zero"

Abe's (repping Mark) Song Choice: "Jekyll and Hyde"

Observation:

There's something about Request Wars that makes people swear and I'll never understand why but it's always a real treat. Nikki is afraid of her hostile boss so she didn't call in but at least we had Mark, the total poon hound. Mark is awful at lying so I'm giving this one to Angi personally. Plus Five Finger Dork Punch sucks.

Winner: Abe

10 o'Clock Toast:

Ikea. We've been saying it wrong this whole time. Apparently, customer service does not agree with this Youtuber though.

Show Quotes and Tidbits:

"You're (Abe) always asking about the pole whenever we get a firefighter." - Angi

PSAbe: In fantasy football (in the iHeart league,) if you offer me an insulting trade, I'll ignore you.

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