This is just a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting, funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast of today's show. However, if you're looking for a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
Oh hell yeah, it's 420 Friday here on the Angi Taylor Show so spark one up and ... wait, what do you mean today is the 19th? But Angi is going to be high once Don't Kill Angi ends and ... uh huh, right, fine. Anyway, welcome to our 420 show on 419 because we don't do radio on Saturday. However, a pesky thing like 24 hours and different days does not stop us and so before I puff up some pieces of show content and pass them along to your eyeballs, let's explore the other big aspect of the show today, which was dating!? (huh) So we began by exploring things you'll be judged about when you go on a date and here are some pointers to make sure you get a second one.
- Body Language: Your walk and posture are important. Having a good walk shows confidence so work on that. Marris pointed out he has knee issues and he walks weird but Angi suggested it was a "perp" walk and he could attribute it to having a huge hog.
- Facial Expression: Focus on eye contact and smiling. Angi hates when she's talking to someone and they are looking elsewhere. There was a girl who worked at iHeart who would ask a question and then proceed to look over her shoulder when she responded.
- Grooming/Hygiene: Brush your teeth, wash your ass, make sure you don't stink, keep your nails and beard neat. There was a strong emphasis about cleaning up the nails because apparently women take that into consideration.
- Outfits: Make sure they are appropriate for the venue. Don't wear shorts to a suit place and vice versa. Marris luckily dresses nice and can fit both avenues. He is also very matchy and owns 80 hats.
- Manners: How you treat the server and staff matters. Marris said if you're not nice, there will be no second date and he'd cut the first short as well. This led to a discussion about elbows on the table and how Marris and Angi got smacked for doing it but apparently forearms on it are fine.
This led to the last section of this discussion as we started exploring using a fork and knife. The real reason for addressing this is because Marris is a fork stabber. To his credit, he needs to do that because his left hand is trash apparently. It's all about stabbing and securing to which Angi sees Marris as a caveman. If she was to date Marris and he did it on a date, she would be turned off (and dry from the Marvel talk.) She yelled at Marris for being 37 years old and not a little kid, who is the only one who should eat like that. This was also a silent dig about phones because even though Gen Z doesn't care about them, Marris tends to get stuck looking at his a bunch. It's usually work related but he will sometimes check scores. Angi was not having it and does not want that occurring ever.
Other Stuff from Today's Show
Continuing on the dating trend, a woman in Florida has found an incredibly annoying way to get at her ex who is still living with her. Obviously, when you break up, there is plenty to consider and when someone needs to move out, find a new place and other nonsense that is time consuming. So back to this girl in Florida who is living with her ex until the lease ends. However, because she is kind of bitter about the whole situation, she has turned it into a Tiktok performance. Every morning she gets revenge on him cheating on her with Karma Karaoke. When he gets up he is greeted by songs like "Before He Cheats" and "Irreplaceable." As to be expected from this "feel good" story, he eventually became okay with it and now he thinks it's funny. It's also very good in helping her rectify the trauma of the situation while also turning into a lucrative side hustle. She now sings to others over the phone and is apparently making decent cash. While I'm putting my two cents in and saying she sounds insufferable, Marris went a step further and suggested he couch surf at his family's place instead of suffering this annoyance wrath. Angi offered that maybe the family doesn't live in the area and Marris said he could find others. This led to a trip down memory lane for Angi who explained that she was engaged in her 20's and living with a guy. She felt she was too young to get married and after a business trip out of town, was convinced of this when she opened a magazine and saw a De Beers ad with a ring saying "Are You Ready?" Funny enough, that's all it took for Angi to realize that it wasn't. She went home and called off the engagement. Though she wasn't ready for marriage, she did want to stay with him. Apparently, he was not thrilled because next time she came home from work, all her stuff was on the lawn and she was forced to move out. His excuse was that she had said no to being married than he assumed she would next tell him she was moving out. It ended up being all for the bet as Angi found Jay the Straight and drained the other guys checking account. As for Marris, he lived with a girl and though he toyed with a break up, it was cheaper to have 2 people paying for rent instead of 1.
With all the dating nonsense buried, now we move onto weed to celebrate the holiday. Kicking that off is a woman named Kiara who was busted with 56 pounds of pot in her checked luggage when it literally busted. The luggage, that was already 6 pounds over the checked weight, had the audacity to burst on a luggage cart. One would assume that if you're going to smuggle drugs, you wouldn't overpack a luggage to call suspicion to it in the first place. Perhaps take it down to 40 pounds to keep them from not wanting to peek around. She was arrested and charged with possession and intent to sell. Like, it's an airport you dummy, what did you think was going to happen after all. They also indicated that the bag was going to be checked regardless by checking it in and weighing so much. In other words, this girl is dumb.
Finally, tomorrow is actually 4/20 and here are some stoner themed movies and shows to watch.
- The Big Lebowski
- Annihilation
- Up in Smoke
- That 70's Show
- Fast Times at Ridgemont High
- Pineapple Express
- Cosmos
- Dazed and Confused
- Half Baked (Marris' favorite stoner movie)
- Friday (Angi's favorite stoner movie)
- Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle
Don't Kill Angi Weekly Recap:
Mon: Angi wanted to teach an adulting class
Choice: Jose had Angi decide to teach a class on how to do a shot ski.
Result: Bored of radio and deciding that she needed to do something for a change of pace, Angi settled on the idea of becoming a teacher. Obviously, she was not going to take classes or get any form of degree because who had that kind of time and so she opted to teach something she knew. Offering her services to an adult learning class, Angi was to become the professor of shot taking. Her first assignment on the docket was the shot ski, the niche bar trick that forces four person coordination or everyone ends up looking stupid. Walking into the classroom, Angi plopped a ski down on the desk and called for four volunteers to demonstrate it. After pouring out the tequila shots though, she was met with a barrage of wrong answers from her less than eager students. "Tequila made me puke in college!" "There's an agave shortage, we can't drink that!" "Don't you have anything more sustainable?" Disgusted by the lack of will coming from the class, Angi lifted the shot ski and downed all the shots by herself. Slightly buzzed and incredibly annoyed, Angi decided to quit on the spot and ended up taking an Uber back home. (Alive)
Tue: Angi wanted buy an iconic pop culture car
Choice: Denny had Angi decide to buy KITT from Knight Rider.
Result: Seeing as she would be forced to work well into her 80's due to how much she made doing radio, Angi decided that she might as well splurge for once. Considering all the options of things she could get that would only increase in value as time went on, Angi opted to buy KITT from Knight Rider, which ironically just happened to be on sale for the sake of this bit. After having the car delivered to her house, Angi jumped in and immediately got to cruising. She was a bit miffed to learn that the car was actually just a car and did not have the system that was portrayed on the show but she was still happy to have a piece of television history. Driving down Western, people were out in droves taking pictures and when stopped by a red light, a dad and son came to the window and knocked. "This is so cool, it's my son's 8th birthday, could we go for a ride with you." Angi, known Mother Teresa stand in, agreed to the request and after they got in, she took them on a twenty minute ride. After she had enough of the dad talking and the kid being on his phone, she decided to let them off on a corner. However, Angi didn't realize that it would be her who would hit the curb when the dad used the console buttons to throw open the door and toss her out into the street. The father jumped into the driver's side and took off, leaving Angi yelling at him in the street. It was all that screeching that made her miss the inbound bus that was on time for once as it crashed into her and splattered her like one of Gallagher's smashed watermelons. (Dead)
Wed: Angi wanted to pet a hippo
Choice: David had Angi decide to approach the big daddy winking hippo.
Result: Jealous that Marris was going on a safari in the near future but more annoyed that he didn't believe her incredible made up fact, Angi decided to show Marris that hippos weren't dangerous. To showcase that she was not in the wrong and to one up her radio bestie, Angi booked a trip to Tanzania for a small excursion. She would go see the hippos, get video of them loving her and prove for once that she was not wrong. After the incredibly long flight, Angi settled into her hotel room but did not stick around. Instead she was out as fast as she could be and made her way to the rental car that would bring her to Hippo Springs. While the man made wading pool wasn't exactly a spring per say, it did have plenty of hippos. Angi found herself immediately drawn to the big daddy hippo as it appeared to be winking at her. Ignoring the cute baby that was close by, Angi went over and started to baby talk the massive beast. In a strange twist of fate, Angi was right and the monster was entirely docile and allowed her to rub and pet it. However, as she did that, the water behind it began to bubble up and emit a familiar sound. It was Lance, the Freshwater African Shark, cousin of Bruce the Freshwater Shark. Lance swam up to Angi and explained that only the freshwater sharks were allowed to kill her and to prove its point, it devoured all the hippos. Horrified, Angi ran off as Lance yelled "go back to Chicago, Bruce will see you soon!" (Alive)
Thur: Angi wanted to call the "legit" psychic in Michigan
Choice: Danny had Angi decide to ask if she's ever going to sleep with Lenny Kravitz.
Result: Not one to buy into the idea that psychics are real but definitely open to the idea of talking to one, Angi was able to search the web and find the infamous Michigan psychic who predicted a money windfall. After getting her hands on Séaoncé's number, Angi dialed up and was incredibly nervous. There was, after all, a small chance that the psychic could be real and her dream of sleeping with Lenny Kravitz would become a reality. After a few rings, Séaoncé finally picked up the phone and fed Angi a curated list of lines. After being prompted, Angi finally asked her question. "Séaoncé, will I ever get to sleep with Lenny Kravitz?" It took a moment for the question to register and then Séaoncé answered unexpectedly. The unexpected part was that there were no given words, just laughter. This was no stifled giggles but absolutely uproarious laughter, coming in bouts like waves hitting a beach. She was laughing so hard that she even began to choke a little bit but the laughter would not be denied. Séaoncé continued her hysterics and with each burst of laughter, she would find another chamber of choking entering her. It finally became too much and Séaoncé collapsed onto the floor, one last laughing fit followed by the final gasp for air. Séaoncé died with a smile on her face and Angi hung up disappointed. (Alive)
Fri: Angi wanted to sell munchies to stoners
Choice: Madison had Angi decide to sell Girl Scout cookies.
Result: In celebration of the recognized by every pothead holiday 420, Angi decided that not only did she want to indulge but to also capitalize on it. After all, you don't get Angi Taylor Money by being lazy. To that end, Angi bought a bunch of Girl Scout cookies and set up shop outside of a dispensary. At first things moved a little slow but as the day rolled in, the lines started to really form. Angi was making bank, throwing cookies at everyone who stood in front of her. It was midway through the lunch rush though when a guy who looked like if Beavis & Butthead had a baby strolled up to her. He pulled out his dank and offered Angi a sample of it. Seeing as she had not had a hit in twenty minutes, she decided to indulge. After taking the hit, she immediately realized that something was off with his weed. Coughing, she handed the hitter back and asked "what is this?" The lovechild smiled and said "it's just a little angel dust." Shocked and ready to start throwing hands, Angi found herself holding back as she started to trip for the first time ever. Unfortunately, Angi hates anything that will have a psychedelic like effect due to her mental troubles and this was no different. However, she felt compelled to become what she saw in her head, a goat. Within seconds she was on the floor crawling around thinking she was a goat. It probably explained why she then proceeded to take off into the woods to look for her goat family, alive but unseen ever again. (Alive)
Request Wars 3.5
Theme: Guitar Gods (The Sequel)
Current Champion: Angi (3x)
Angi's Song Choice: “It's So Easy" by Guns N' Roses
Marris' Song Choice: "Fire" by Jimi Hendrix
Winner: Marris
10 O' Clock Toast:
Toastee: People Who Cook a Lot of Different Things
Angi tips her hat to anyone that can look at food and make things with it. She apparently has been making the same 5 meals forever and she is jealous she can't see things and make them into other things. The rest of the toast was rambling mess nonsense as to be expected.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
"Don't stab your meat, stab her meat." - Angi
"What is Angi Taylor and a dope dealer have in common? They both charge $250 for an O!" - Minn Barb