This is just a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting, funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast of today's show. However, if you're looking for a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
Personal Note: Go listen to the podcast today if you missed any of the show to hear some of the most unhinged radio that will have crossed your ears in quite some time.
So, it's hump day and in all honesty, I think Angi might develop one at the rate her bones are deteriorating, rearranging and reconnecting. Yes, that's right, it's a day that ends in "day" which means Angi has discovered yet another ailment that will surely take her down this time. Now, I know what you're thinking, "Jay, didn't we just talk about how she has loose screws in her feet (and head apparently) just the other day?" Well, I guess we've moved on from that because while doing yoga last night (which happens seven times a year,) everything in her body cracked as she shifted around her old parts. For those keeping track, that included but was not limited to her hips, knees, ankles, wrists, cheeks and neck. Her first thought (with obvious answer) was "why is this happening, this has never happened before?" (See: Old Bitch) As always, Angi took the absolutely most rational approach and immediately ran to her phone to consult with Dr. Google. After punching in "why does my body sound like the Fourth of July when I contort it in any way?" she was presented with the likely culprit (pauses like I would during my call in) osteoporosis. Obviously, this doesn't make sense because yoga is supposed to make you fluid and beautiful but Dr. Google has never steered her wrong. Marris, King of Arthritis, was not having it and yelled about how he cracks all the time and he's younger than her. She came up with several solutions including Vitamin D (hehe,) more yoga for consistent joint movement and in turn, greasing them to keep them from snapping like twigs. However, the idea that fixing this issue was possible did not deter the death squad from rolling through once more. See, Angi's bones are disintegrating and there is no marrow left in them (I can't wait to write this memoir of hers.) She then assumed that eating bone marrow will replace her alleged missing bone marrow (we seriously need to study her brain when she's dead.) Marris attempted to rein things back in (unsuccessfully) by explaining that he is not a doctor which turned into "I have osteoporosis, I'm going to die!" "Why are my joints cracking, I'm going to die!" once again. However, we did figure that if this was all simply related to yoga, she would be okay if she stops doing it (she won't be, something new will come up next week.) No, you know what, let's tack on some optimism to end this section of the notes, she'll be okay (seriously, she's on her way out,) don't worry (start looking for a new host Todd,) she doesn't need a GoFundMe (Jay the Straight is going to toss her into a trash can when she goes.) Even though I intended to leave it there on a hilarious note, I had to add that later in the show Angi also decided that she has Crohn's Disease so keep an eye out for that one next week.
Other Stuff from Today's Show
Onward we move to some good news though which means the focus is definitely not on Angi until she attempts to get Marris killed further in this blurb. As you will recall, Marris won a trip for 2 (this is important) to anywhere in the world and Marris Sandiego seems to finally have picked a place. Marris plans to trek all around Africa going on a Tanzanian safari, checking out the beaches, and hitting up Zanzabar. This once in a lifetime trip needs to be milked for all it's worth and so he intends to enjoy it ... alone. That's right, he wants to take this adventure solo and he is already getting crap for it. At the same time though, the people it was mentioned to around the office knew of Tanzania and Zanzibar and when he mentioned a safari, he was told he was making it up. One of the appeals of his safari though is one aspect that Marris does not want to do, play with hippos in a shallow pool. His idea on turning this really cool moment down has to do with the fact that hippos are notorious rage beasts and they can and do attack people. Angi was taken aback by this because (looks at notes, looks at expected life calendar, sigh) the hippo in the movie Madagascar was nice.... Marris explained that in the wild, they are different with 3 feet wide mouths and weigh enough to move you out of the way whether you like it or not. Angi then proceeded to ask if they eat people because apparently, she's never gone to a zoo or on the internet for that matter. To alleviate some of Marris' paranoia about being swallowed whole, Angi said that these hippos in the shallow lake are trained to interact with people. Marris was not letting it go though as he said if they decide to come for you, you're getting trampled to death. Meanwhile, Angi finished this off by complaining about how she wishes she could take a solo trip, not necessarily around the world but to the hospital so she could spend a week alone. Keep this in mind roadies if you see Angi on the street ... she wants you to take her out with your car.
Now normally, I tend to stick the Daily Discussion Topic in this slot if I don't use it for my call but it got bumped today to instead discuss how I knew Angi's show today would be a real masterpiece. It began at 5 A.M.ish when Angi and Marris started having "fat moments." These hunger pains were brought on by the news that Red Lobster might be going to that great lobster trap in the sky. That's right, the place with all the fish might go belly up and be bankrupt. With the irrational fear that a place neither of them had eaten at in years firmly planted, the talk turned to Cheddar Bay Biscuits that Angi (the housekeeper) made for Thanksgiving. This year, she wants to do Cheddar Bay stuffing or maybe White Castle stuffing, she didn't care she was hungry (and also the originator of the side dish apparently.) Now, this topic was fine on its own and nothing too noteworthy until you realize that the hunger she felt cooked the circuits in her brain and made her have several "senior moments" before having a full on confused early onset fall apart during a discussion about the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. The fan vote went as suspected to the Dave Matthews Band but after shifting from that to American Idol (it was a long mess of conversation,) and the premiere of the inductees, Angi tossed out that Toby Keith had recently died, or maybe he didn't, was it the other country guy, and we ended with her wondering if Toby Keith was alive (he's not.)
If you are looking for more roadie thoughts or have your own, hit up our Facebook group (Angi Taylor Show) and drop us a comment.
Finally, as we try to get anything on track (not happening ever,) let's look at the Daily Discussion Topic. Actress Emma Roberts recently showed off her crib to Architectural Digest and it has a literal cabinet of curiosities. After doing six seasons of American Horror Story, it makes sense that she's a little crazy but the doll wall in her office is a whole nother level. She has them all out of the box, is obsessed with them and hopes they come to life one night and wake her up in her sleep. Marris, of course, freaked out hearing this but was no saint when it came to willing dolls to life as you'll see in a moment. Another oddity in her house is a Joni Mitchell shrine that she has in her TV room. Now, as I said Marris was not having it hearing about these dolls but when the table was turned and he was asked if he would like his Ninja Turtles to come to life, you know damn well he said he would be thrilled if that occurred. After he threw on his Casey Jones outfit, he and the Turtles would then go out to the streets to fight crime. Anyway, turning back to the topic, Marris was asked if he had anything creepy in his house beside the angry gecko? Angi assumes that the gecko along with all the crap lying around his condo is why she is never invited over. The gecko btw, wanted food yesterday and when Marris fed her, she ignored it. She's clearly getting ready to eat him. As for why Angi isn't allowed in, there is a ton of Funko Pops, action figures and comics lying all over the place and she would judge him (more than she already does.) Angi then suggested getting Funko Pop shadow boxes on Amazon and maybe just saging the house as well. However, she was more interested in hearing about taxidermy, horror props or grandma in the freezer, not nerd toys. As for her house, Jay the Straight's dad passed away 6 to 7 years ago and since his last name was Lyons, he was obsessed with lions. This led to a ceramic lion head thing with the ashes of his father hidden in it stuffed in his art studio. Angi is bothered just to know there are ashes in the house. Right then, moving along to the Request Line and the roadies because today has been insane. Paula has a shrine to her not dead son in her living room that includes hair, baby teeth, trophies and his umbilical cord. Adelia has lifelike arms and legs lying all over the house to use as a burglar deterrent. They are rubber and made for Halloween but look lifelike so I guess you're supposed to think a serial killer lives there. Steven is single but collects vintage board games. Marris suggested he is more of a collector and not a crazy person (I disagree but whatever.) Nick has an 8x10 Jesus pic in the foyer at his parents place and it's one of those pics that look like it's following you around. Rich collects Michael Jordan memorabilia and has a full size replica of his head hanging from a wall in his basement. It is life sized, made of rubber and has plastic in it but it needs to hang to keep it from bending. That's right, he has a black man's head hanging from a wall....
Request Wars 3.5
Theme: Best Song to Have Sex to
Current Champion: Angi (1x)
Angi's Song Choice: “Closer" by Nine Inch Nails
Marris' Song Choice: "Addicted" by Saving Abel
Winner: Angi
10 O' Clock Toast:
Toastee: Jimmy John's
They are getting funny for 4/20 (Sat) by putting together a big old goodie bag called the "Delicious Dope Dime Bag." For $10 bucks, you're getting a bunch of merch and snacks that actually looks kind of cool but more so, you're paying a dime for a bag full of junk ... you can act like you're a teenager all over again.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
"Somebody threw a whole turkey leg at me, I must leave." - Angi
"He's got a black mans head hanging from the wall doesn't sound right." - Angi
"I'm an athlete, I'm an Olympian!" - Angi
"Should have been doing the show sitting on your (Marris') lap. - Blind Angi realizing Marris is black