This is just a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting, funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast of today's show. However, if you're looking for a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
Like a call girl out wandering the streets, we are here once again for another hump day. Middle of the week usually means that we are hitting the stride of Angi slowly coming unglued and well, she was attacked by a massive dragonfly this morning so I guess that fits right? However, her issues with animals being abnormally attracted to her sinner ass is not the main push of this opening discussion. Instead, we are here to talk about her neighbor with a lead in from J.J. Hardy, a baseball shortstop who is aggravating all his neighbors. Since he's a baseball player who is rolling the money (as all baseball players tend to be,) he decided that his ritzy home in Chandler, Arizona needed its own miniature ballpark in the yard. That's right, this exclusive neighborhood has its own baseball field including 20 foot poles that beam light down onto it in the evening. Needless to say, the neighbors are beyond pissed because this is clearly beyond what is reasonable (not to mention that this is so insane yet realistic for people who are too rich.) It's essentially like having a Top Golf next door to you and if Angi was one of the neighbors, she would absolutely lose her mind. Marris though was not too pressed over it so Angi cranked up the idea that he would never be invited to come hang because J.J. (in our delirious narrative) hates him. This would be akin to building a pool, having pool parties with a DJ working the tables nightly but never allowing anyone else in because they are disliked. Marris then offered that the neighbors should build their own for a taste of revenge but I think they already did something akin to that on Curb Your Enthusiasm. Now, with that all settled, we can spin the camera back around to Angi, who herself knows what it's like to have bad neighbors. There was coat in the winter guy, year round inflatables, pigeon dude (though we like him,) and the newest addition to the list, the guy who lives upstairs. See Floptopia is a townhouse and she is on the bottom floor. Above her is a 6'12 dude who walks on his heels. He is so loud in his movement, she said it sounds like a combination of the Kentucky Derby and chariot races when he moves about the flat. Throw in that there is also a dog up there and that thing barks constantly. This alone should add him to the list of registered neighbors Angi hates but it was her playing Beyoncé's Homecoming at Coachella last Friday cranked up high that got her into trouble. She received a text from her neighbor that told her his dishes were rattling from the sound vibrations and she was livid. With him not firmly planted on the "I Hate My Neighbors" list, Angi explained that she does a yearly huge Fourth of July party and that she tells everyone it is coming and invites people to join her instead of, say, calling the cops. Something tells me that if this party occurs this year, she's going to have plenty of great stories to tell after she gets out of the slammer and is done paying for all the broken fine China.
Other Stuff from Today's Show:
Continuing along on the sports and gambling show that today's outing has turned into, we are looking at Level Dragon Link slots and a triple payout that has Angi fiending for gambling. Obviously, there are absolute horses at the slot machines who live there with a diaper on so they can rake in the hot machine bucks but a dude recently apparently figured out that peeing yourself is not essential. A gambler at Caesars Palace recently won $125,000 with one lever yank on the Level Dragon Link slot machine. Figuring that the dragon was just within reach (you'll never catch it buddy!,) he decided to keep going. He went to another Level Dragon Link and ended up winning $383,000. Still not content (you'll never catch it, keep going!,) he moved onto another Level Dragon Link machine and won $159,000. This half million dollar haul occurred in three hours and this made Angi horny for gambling. It also took us down memory lane back to last September when Angi was in Vegas with Marris and hit 5 aces on a machine. She had won the jackpot of $500 there (and $150 on another later) but she had been playing at the lowest bet level. Had she cranked it up a bit, she would have won $10,000. Obviously the degenerate was furious but that rage subsided (she probably forgot due to the early onset.) Back to our big spender though, he went back to Caesars a few days later and pumped a $2,500 bet on a machine and netted $692,000. The point of all this is you (yes, YOU!) need to go to Vegas immediately and start playing the Level Dragon Link slot machines. While everyone else is doing that, Angi and Marris will be at Bally's today wasting what's left of their paychecks that they got on Friday (and in turn, adding 10 more years until retirement to their schedules.)
As we move on now to the Daily Discussion Topic, we are still firmly planted in the world of sports. Today's discussion seemed to be spawned by Marris and his love of Ken Griffey Jr. as he was wearing some branded gear today. As someone who grew up loving him, Marris admires his swing, who he was as a player but most of all, Ken Griffey Jr. Presents Major League Baseball on SNES was his jam. Playing it with his brother inspired him greatly and also brought forth an absolute love of baseball. The thing is this goes outside the confines of our city and you know the tribalism that comes from sports. For example, Angi loves the Sox, Bears and Bulls but she is a Minnesota girl and she also loves the Vikings. However, she also loves the new Cubs pitcher Shōta Imanaga. She also loved Terrell Owens even though he played for the Cowboys. Marris hates the Cardinals but loves Yadier Molina. Angi hates the Lakers but absolutely loved Kobe Bryant. Marris hates the Seahawks but loves Russell Wilson. Toss in Angi loving Joe Burrow and Johnny Football (because she has a thing for flamboyant party boy players) and we have a topic in place. Who is a player that you absolutely love that plays for a team you can not stand? Obviously, my love of sports comes from looking at men like Jimmy G being the hottest thing on the planet so I have nothing to add today and so we move right to the Request Line and the roadies. Starting off with Melissa who adored (see: wanted to bang probably) Johnny Damon when he played for the Red Sox even though she hated them. When he went to the Yankees though, it was win/win because she's a huge Yankee's fan. Angi had the same thing with Brett Farve since she hates the Packers but once he ended up on the Vikings.... Ken said Barry Sanders and was a hater of the Lions. Marris, oblivious or confused, had a stroke when he misunderstood what was said because everyone can't help but love Barry Sanders. David said Tom Brady because you can't help but hate the Patriots. John is an Aaron Rodgers boy but again, everyone hates the Packers. Fred said Khalil Mack because of course we would toss him and then he'd end up blowing up on the Chargers. Rob picked Deion Sanders because he was so flashy and great but the Falcons, yuck. For Angi's money, she needs him to come on over and coach the Bears. If you are looking for more roadie thoughts or have your own, hit up our Facebook group (Angi Taylor Show) and drop us a comment.
Finally, if you have an old tattoo that you regret, then we have a contest for you. I know, it was all sports and gambling today so I had to switch it up here at the end. Petsmart (yes, the pet store) is running a contest to give five winners a free tattoo to cover up an old regretful tattoo by putting a beloved pet over it. While Marris does not dislike any of his ink, he would also not add in Syphilis to his sleeve as she is not worthy. Angi suggested that if he won't add the spiteful little lizard to his sleeve, perhaps he should do a gecko tramp stamp because butt crack is the new hotness. As for the prize, not only do you get the tattoo but also you will be flown to L.A. for a 2 night stay and are able to choose something that would cost $2,500 or less. Before we closed this out, Angi once again reminded us of her Tweety Bird tattoo that was so embarrassing she had it lasered off her back before her wedding and would never let a man hit it from the back lest he see it.
Request Wars 3.5
Theme: Songs That Make You Want to Punch Someone in the Face
Current Champion: Angi (2x)
Angi's Song Choice: “Break Stuff" by Limp Bizkit
Marris' Song Choice: "Under and Over It" by Five Finger Death Punch
Winner: Angi
10 O' Clock Toast:
Toastee: Mexico
The eclipse was a huge deal and therefore everyone had videos of it. A TV station did not do their job however when accepting submissions because one video was of a guy using his balls to create the eclipse. We then argued how we need to get rid of the FCC and need to free the nipple and then some here in the states.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
"Squirtle's a Pokemon? I thought it was a turtle that squirts." - Angi