The Angi Taylor Show

The Angi Taylor Show

Email: angitaylorshow@iheartmedia.comFull Bio


Emo Angi - ATS - 4.5.24

This is just a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting, funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast of today's show. However, if you're looking for a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place. 

Call in Point:

(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)

Friday we are here once more and after suffering a week with no sun, it is finally coming out and just in time to bounce it's rays off some of these shiny ass chainsaws we have sitting in the prize closet. Another week comes to a close with Chainsaw Friday and that means drinking is definitely on the docket for tonight. Now, if you're like myself or Angi, you don't wait for the weekend and just drink every day. Joining us for a time was the world's oldest man who unfortunately can't join us at the bar this weekend because he just died. Before he ate paydirt though, his secret to longevity was drinking every day. That's right, being a lush keeps you alive apparently which means Angi will be doing this show for another 50 or so years if that is the case. However, booze is not only good for one's own soul as a study showcased that if you're a lush and your partner is a lush, you will have a happier marriage and a longer life. Marris added that drinking with a partner is also beneficial to the wallet because the pair can stay in and drink and if they only have 2 drinks to get buzzed, that's plenty saved. Angi vaguely rolled her eyes at this notion and I almost dropped my drink because it takes her at least two bottles of wine to get a buzz and I need a "Jay drink" to feel anything (my Liquor Barn bill is almost as bad as hers.) In some situations, the balance is off as well because Angi needs to make her liver swim for a buzz and Jay the Straight is not much of a drinker so one or two for him and he's buzzed. He's a pothead though, as is she, so technically they're sharing altering experiences together regardless. This circles back around to the point that spouses who have similar drinking habits are ending up better together. If there is a difference, disconnect or some form of sobriety, it starts to wrecking ball the chances. See, apparently marriage is all about bonding and pouring some drinks to have together allows for natural conversation to flow and communication is key to longevity especially when it comes to a relationship. What we're saying is go out, buy some booze, grab your favorite person and extend your life by getting responsibly drunk tonight.

Other Stuff from Today's Show:

Since today is a day of celebration (remember, we're happy the sun is finally returning,) it only made sense that we gave the roadies something to consider for the weekend in the form of a Daily Discussion Topic. In a hilarious viral video from Sacramento, a porch pirate dressed as a big bag of trash was caught on cam stealing a package. Much like those old cartoons back when we were kids (there was going to be an "Angi is old" joke in here but I'm tired,) this bag of trash made like those cartoon bushes and snuck to the porch to lift a prize. After the bag ended up on the porch, it grabbed the package and then scooched away to see what it had won. Turns out that it was nothing more than $10 worth of phone chargers off Temu (to be fair, I would have just left them in the trash bag where they belong. At first the person who was robbed was mad, then they assumed it was a prank before settling on it being funny seeing a bag of trash steal essentially trash. Now, if the thief had stolen something like a PS5 or something, then the owner would have probably been upset but nothing of real value was lost. With this in mind though, Angi pondered if any roadies had been victims of porch piracy. For Marris, it was a package of gecko food that got lifted once. While this was also kind of dumb, it sure wasn't for Marris who was beaten senselessly by his gecko Syphilis because he did not bring her the fruit paste she desired. As for Angi, when she had her fake tits taken out, she had to order special compression bras. These things were flesh colored and ugly and after opening it and realizing what they had stolen, proceeded to throw the package into a neighbors yard. The neighbor called and asked if Angi had a box of ugly bras missing because even he did not want that mess in his life. However, it's not always junk getting stolen and around Christmas time, it's worse because people know the good stuff will be dropping in. So the question stood, had the roadies ever had anything pirated off their porch. Starting with Wendy, she had a special formula that was actually expensive ($100 a can) taken but the thieves probably tossed the liquid gold when they assumed it was just formula. Crystal had her Amazon driver take a can of Coors Light out of her order but to be fair, it was the middle of July. As to how she knew this occurred outside of the open box, she saw the whole thing through the window from her couch. Craig had his son's baseball cup stolen but lucky, his balls were safe. If you are looking for more roadie thoughts or have your own, hit up our Facebook group (Angi Taylor Show) and drop us a comment.

In a complete turn for this show (and on a Friday of all days,) Angi took a moment to show some vulnerability. You see, last night our lady was deep in her feels and like most people who have social media, decided to post about it. Obviously, I'm not going to clown her on this because I talk myself off the posting ledge often when I am deep in my feelings for fear of causing concerns that aren't warranted. For those that did not see the post, she said "How is it possible to talk to millions of people a day and still feel lonely?" After all, she loves her job and it did save her life, how could this possibly be. We know she loves coming in, we definitely have a ton of fun (the stuff you don't hear, see or read is the underbelly of a ridiculous iceberg) and she knows that she is loved. As was said earlier in the week, this job is 24-7, it really never ends for those of us who work and contribute to it as we are always coming up with content. Everything she does is for the show and all her experiences are splayed out each morning for the roadies to hear. Yet, there is a loneliness in constantly exporting your feelings and telling your truths and not receiving anything in return. Life as we know though is a two way street and so with so much going out, you want to get some back in sometimes. However, for a person like Angi, her two best friends are on separate coasts (New York and L.A.,) her child is grown up and moved out and she is married but Jay the Straight has a life of his own to contend to sometimes (plus lets not forget about Misty Meadows, the 24 year old blonde girlfriend.) So for a little bit, Angi was feeling but it is also part of the ebb and flow that is life. The waves crash in, they recede and sometimes the seas are calm. In all this there were tons of messages, check ins, reassurances and support tossed at her but the true biggest gesture came from her best friend in New York. She texted Angi this morning to let her know she is coming in for a 24 hour stint. Obviously, it's about catching up and making sure Angi is all good but this is a showcase of true friendship and if you put things out into the universe, good things can happen. Marris finds himself in similar situations and can go months without seeing people but when they do, they pick up like nothing has occurred and the time gap mends itself. Of course, there are also times where they will just show up because they know he needs it and that keeps him right as rain as well. The point is, loneliness is real, friendships are important and we should all take time to check in on those who we care about and just see that they are doing well and more so, visit those if you get the chance. You may not get a smoke signal post like Angi put out but it's appreciated in so many ways even when not spoken.

Finally, a new king of comics has been crowned as a copy of Action Comics #1 from 1938 recently sold for $6,000,000. For those not familiar, this is the comic that features the first appearance of Superman which everyone knows aside from Marris apparently. Of the initial 200,000 printed, there are about 100 of them in circulation still so the massive price tag makes total sense. Funny enough, this comic took the crown from Superman #1, which came out in 1939. The third ranking comic is Amazing Fantasy #15 which again Marris somehow did not know was the issue that debuted Spider-Man. Debut issues though are always going to be huge sellers though because everyone wants a piece of the origin action. Right, there was more back and forth nonsense about nerd stuff but you know, you're probably still thinking about drinking from earlier so get out of here and go have one.

Don't Kill Angi Weekly Recap:

Mon: Angi wanted to pull a prank on Todd the Taint

Choice: Katrina had Angi decide to poop in Todd's coffee.

Result: Though she normally didn't go all in on pranks and indulge in stupid holidays like April Fool's, Angi decided to get in on the fun for once. After considering all the wacky things she could do, Angi ended up deciding to poop in Todd the Taint's coffee. Less prank and more viciously unstable act of aggression, Angi grabbed Todd's coffee cup and did the deed before he was scheduled to arrive in the office. Mug in hand, Angi waited in the iHeart hallway for a good 30 minutes before her chance to pull a fast one on Todd finally arrived. As he approached, Angi smirked and presented the mug to Todd. "I made coffee!" she exclaimed, barely able to contain her glee. Todd took the mug from Angi but instead of drinking it, he simply held it and smiled at Angi. "I always knew you were a prankster at heart," he exclaimed, pouring the mug and its contents on the floor. Angi was shocked but that was nothing compared to what came next. "I have a joke for you, I got us tickets to today's Cubs home opener!" Todd laughed back at Angi. Knowing that she couldn't stomach the idea of going to a Cubs game, Angi did the only reasonable thing she could think of. Turning away from Todd, Angi ran full speed to one of the closet windows and threw herself through it, sending her to the pavement below where she splattered like one of Gallagher's watermelons. (Dead)

Tue: Angi wanted to go on an adventure with Prison Tattoo and his parents

Choice: Kristy had Angi decide to go Branson with Prison Tattoo and his parents.

Result: Enraged by the idea that Prison Tattoo had gone to the lost luggage store and had not bought all the high end clothing merchandise, Angi decided to take a trip with Prison Tattoo and his family. She figured that if she went with them somewhere, they would end up taking her to the store as well during the family vacation. However, before that was worked into the rotation, she was instead forced to go to Branson with them. Pulling up in a winnebago like the Family Vacation movies, Angi and Prison Tattoo hopped on and they were off. The first stop on the trip though was in Iowa for some reason, which involved seeing The World's Largest Ball of Hair. Bored already, Angi and Prison Tattoo snuck away from the tourist trap and sparked up a joint. After getting sufficiently high, Angi ended up flicking the joint but unfortunately, it ended up flying into the ball of hair. This set off a chain of events that saw the ball catching fire and then exploding, which sent flames down around and onto everyone. The entire scene became an instant raging inferno which swept up everyone in the flames including Angi, Prison Tattoo, his parents and all the tourists. (Dead)

Wed: Angi wanted to go sledding behind Jay the Straight's jeep

Choice: BJ had Angi decide to go sledding on Lake Shore Drive.

Result: With the last hurrah of winter firmly beating down on the city, Angi felt the need to indulge in one last activity before spring and summer pretended to coexist in a weird mishmash for five months. After hearing about sledding behind cars on the show that morning, Angi was keen on the idea of trying it out for herself. Never much of a risk taker when she was young, it surely made sense to start trying things in her 50's. Grabbing a sled, Angi brought her suggestion to Jay the Straight who had initially dismissed it but then decided to go along with it because if Angi were to fly into the lake and get eaten by a shark, he could finally get with Misty Meadows. After driving the jeep down to Lake Shore Drive, Angi got out and attached the sled to the back of it with a rope and told Jay the Straight to floor it. At once she was latched on and they were off. As he flew through the length of streets, Angi was getting hit with wet snow, light rain, dirty slush and the looks of drivers in their cars as she tried not to crash into them. However, on a sharp turn, the rope that had harnessed the sled broke and Angi was sent flying like that scene in Christmas Vacation. Her fate was not sealed to doom that day though as after she breezed past traffic and through a residential street, Angi crashed into a bar. Getting up unphased and alive, Angi went inside and celebrated by buying all the patrons a round of shots. (Alive)

Thur: Angi wanted to test the big nose = big hose theory

Choice: Britney had Angi decide to check out the guy with the Gonzo nose.

Result: Even though becoming a scientific doctor had never crossed Angi's mind, after reading that researcher suggested hose size was correlated to nose size, Angi found herself suddenly compelled to conduct an experiment. Putting out feelers, Angi was able to find herself a man with size 15 shoes and a guy with a giant Gonzo nose. Since HR wouldn't allow the research to be conducted in the iHeart building, Angi found herself outside in the back alley with her subjects. She explained that she was conducting a study and that she would need both men to drop their pants. Her delight went from thrilled to sour when the pants hit the floor revealing that both of the dudes were actually hung like a light switch. In fact, the junk was so microscopic, she found herself breaking out a magnifying glass to see exactly where the tree was in the forest. This act of humiliation did not sit well with the subjects, especially Size 15 shoes. He was so enraged by the whole experience that he pulled off his size 15 boot and began to beat Angi with it. Unfortunately for her, the steel toe part of it was made with actual anvil steel and so after a few bashes, her head caved in like one of Gallagher's watermelons. (Dead)

Fri: Angi had to bring a favor to a baby shower

Choice: Derrick had Angi decide to bring a case of Molly water to a baby shower.

Result: Though she was surprised with a visit from her best friend who survived the New York earthquake, Angi found herself still forced to go to a baby shower she had RSVP'ed to. Knowing that her friend would finally be free of being a baby jailer soon enough, Angi decided to bring a gift that would be amazing and not just another diaper genie. Settling on a case of Molly water, Angi wrapped it up and made her way to the shower. Once within, she waited for all the boring games to be played and for the food to be served because then it was time for the gifts. Seeing the dazzling box displayed on the table, Angi's friend went for it first. Upon opening it, her face lit up like a Christmas tree at the amazing treat that sat inside of it. She squealed with delight and exclaimed how excited she was to finally drop the baby out and Angi felt proud of herself. However, there was something that she had overlooked that had come for its reckoning. The baby shower was taking place inside of a church and once God realized what she had done, he decided to teach Angi a lesson. Pulling a bolt of lightning, God let it loose down and through the middle of the church which in turn caused a fire to break out. Before anyone could escape, the place became a blazing inferno and Angi's sacrilege ended up killing herself and everyone else in the church. (Dead)

Request Wars 3.5

Theme: Bands with Numbers in Their Name

Current Champion: Angi (4x)

Angi's Song Choice: “Down" by 311

Marris' Song Choice: "The Artist in the Ambulance" by Thrice

Winner: Marris

10 O' Clock Toast

Toastee: Flava Flav

Apparently he is dating Tori Spelling which made all the heads in the studio spin. Most upset was Angi who said he was old and not cute and well she's a broke old spinster with 18 kids. This seems like a mess.

Show Quotes and Tidbits:

"She's (Tori Spelling) the old woman that lives in the shoe." - Angi

"You got the clap from that hosebeast Taylor in the 90's." - Minn Barb

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