This is just a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting, funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast of today's show. However, if you're looking for a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
Another day, another chance for Angi to finally indulge in her not so secret want to become a gambling overlord. If you've been keeping track and listening to the show any time since November when Angi moved into Floptopia, you would know that she has a pigeon racer living next door and she has been trying to get in on his racket. So far, her charm (see: sagging naturals) and so-so personality has only made a dent in the armor of the pigeon man but we did see some results. While he fessed up to pigeon racing fairly recently, he has said there is no gambling (sure buddy.) The thing is, this guy clearly has no idea what kind of out of control degenerate is living next to him and so Angi took another swing at him to see if he'd open the little black book yesterday. While we still are nowhere on the gambling front, she did get more of an in by asking about his favorite pigeon. The small talk eased the proud pigeon papa enough for him to offer Angi a chance to see a baby pigeon. Now, I know we all assume baby pigeons are a myth and that these winged hell rats just appear but low and behold, it was real. After sauntering into Bird Manor, the mansion which is bigger than Angi's flop shack and houses all the birds that are raced but totally definitely in no way gambled on (see: sure bro,) Angi was presented with a three week old butterball. This thing was apparently huge and had a yellow mohawk. Needless to say, Angi was in love and decided that this is the bird she wants to race. As luck would have it, this disgusting rat of the sky will be ready to start racing in August. The handler went on to explain that they do test runs with the flock, including this bundle of winged terror and it helps all the birds learn the proper route. Each bird is also microchipped so if they get lost, they can be shot down if they go rogue. Their initial training right now is happening on the South Side but as they get acclimated, they are taken out farther and get to go longer to be in proper race shape. Now, I'm writing all this imparted knowledge down in these notes because we know Angi has the early onset and she might need to go back and have this information in hand when she talks to him next. We also discovered that Angi will not be getting herself a coop because as I stated before, Angi's Floptopia is smaller than the bird mansion as is. Marris chimed in on this nonsense that he's never seen a yellow hair mohawked pigeon and Angi explained that it kind of looks like Stripe from Gremlins 2. She also did not expect the bird to be the size of a softball but then again, with all the PED's these birds are on, it totally makes sense that the baby is swole AF.
Other Stuff from Today's Show:
Since it's Hump Day today and Opening Day tomorrow, it seems that now is the perfect time to get into talking about weiners. Now, personally, I love a nice weiner here and there but taking too many of them ticks off the life clock so I try to hold back my indulgences. Still, if you offer me a weiner, I'm never going to say no and will handle and throat goat that beast because everyone loves a good weiner. Before continuing with this sounds dirty but it's not a race to the innuendo bottom, I feel like I should state that I'm clearly talking about hot dogs. That's right, it might not yet be dog sucking season but this is the opening step to getting us there. The reason we're talking about weiners is because a site is attempting to find a true weiner expert (Angi and I are right here, hello?!) This weiner connoisseur will be given a task of visiting 30 ballparks and doing a little bit of science. They will be checking out the wieners at each park and taste testing the dogs while also measuring the weight, length and girth. The idea here is to discover which ballparks offer up the biggest weiners and the small weiners. The winner who is dubbed weiner expert gets tickets to the games, their travel paid for, gift cards for food and a $500 gift card on top of that. Marris was not convinced by all of this and suggested he would need more cash offered to go and use his mouth as a tape measure. As for entry into the position of weiner handler, the submissions are open until April 18th. In submitting, you must offer up a pitch as to why you are the most qualified person to handle weiners and show the world which ballpark has the best ones. You might be hard pressed to beat Angi though who thinks she has this in the bag as she is just going to offer up the resume of all the men she's "dated" as her resume. Marris, voice of reason, was more interested in what they were going to do with all the data, which is more than likely something perverted. Before we ended this, Angi had to add in that the Sox have the biggest weiners and the Cubs have the smallest.
Right, now that we've had our fun, let's get down to business with the Daily Discussion Topic. Ripped from the headlines, a moron led cops on a high speed chase and after Angi realized it wasn't her brother in law, she brought the story in to dissect it and turn it into a talking point. A guy was doing 84 in a 55 and decided to turn it into a high speed chase. He cranked up to 100 mph and was flying along until his white Mustang ended up hitting a curb. When he was caught, he decided to fight the police and was tasered for it. He had a ton of charges thrown on him but as he was being hauled off, he bragged that he hit 170 mph at one point. Clearly, this is more than a ticketable offense but we're looking at the lesser criminals and those who got out of tickets. For example, Angi's dad once told a cop that his English was not great and when he was pulled over for speeding, the cops asked how fast he was going. He replied 85 but added that the sign said 95 and used his broken English as the excuse to why he did not know he was going too fast. Playing the foreigner card worked wonders because they ended up letting him go. Angi also was famously pulled over by a horse cop on State Street for texting at a red light but after handing her ID over, the cop realized she was his next door neighbor and she had just gotten her boob job so the barely contained tank top probably helped get her just a warning. Marris has gotten out of several as well but the most memorable was when he was pulled over pulling into a bar for having his front light out. The cop asked for his ID and Marris' friend in the backseat started to get lippy. The cop was clearly irritated by this but as luck would have it, Marris' off duty friend happened to be in the parking lot so he was called over. The officers talked and Marris thankfully walked away without issue. With our side covered, we went to the Request Line which was the start of many frustrating calls Angi would end up tackling today. Maria was driving and when pulled over, told the officer she was pregnant and having contractions. Though she wasn't "showing," she said she was early along in the pregnancy and worried something was amiss. Though he wasn't really buying it, he let her off with a warning. Blake worked for a tree service company and did 55 in a 35 and had an expired registration. Luckily, the cop who pulled him over was one his company had done work for so he let him go. Bob was pulled over for speeding and had a 20 pound bag of white powder in the backseat. It was laundry detergent but it was good enough to bribe the officer to get out of a ticket. Gus blew a red light and was slightly intoxicated (please don't drink and drive) and two cops pulled him over. While he talked to the female one, the male one got vulgar with his girlfriend and it ended up allowing them to get away and also have the female cop help put the plate sticker on. Devin was pulled over for speeding on his way home from work but luckily had his newborn bag in the back seat so he was able to say he was on his way to the hospital. Sarah told the longest story I've ever heard about her husband being followed by cops to see her off on a business trip. Eric the cop called and said that some cops don't care and will let a ticket slide while others will peg you for the sake and it's just a random roll of the dice which you get. If you are looking for more roadie thoughts or have your own, hit up our Facebook group (Angi Taylor Show) and drop us a comment.
Finally, Bruce Dickinson is the good this world needs and the Iron Maiden frontman is also becoming a voice of reason about shows. He said that the front row should be the most reasonably priced tickets because that is the section for the real fans, the kids and those who can't afford giant money seats because those are the superfans. They are the ones you want at the show cheering you on because they are truly there to see you. He also added that he thinks ticket prices are way too high and that he would not pay $1,200 to go see U2 at The Sphere. You need to have the right kind of prices for the right kind of tickets. Iron Maiden tries to keep the tickets in the normal range and accessible for their actual fans. Marris suggested that a fan club type of deal needs to exist where the first few rows are sold at a reasonable price to actual fans and not some rich, jaded a-holes who are there to take the same video as 800 other people that no one cares about.
Request Wars 3.5
Theme: David vs. Sammy (A Van Halen Battle)
Current Champion: Angi (2x)
Angi's Song Choice: “Ain't Talkin' Bout Love" by Van Halen
Marris' Song Choice: "Poundcake" by Van Halen
Winner: Marris
10 O' Clock Toast:
Toastee: Dale
Are you a Dale? Symptoms include: giving one word answers, almost being hit by a train and showing absolute no change in monotone while winning KoЯn tickets? Be warned, if you venture down these paths, you will get "Dale'd" on the show from now on. If you missed any of the show today, you have to go listen to the podcast.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
"I could see you (Marris) out there measuring weiners all day." - Angi