This is just a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting, funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast of today's show. However, if you're looking for a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
Today is Hump Day and guess what, we really leaned into that this morning when Angi got all into a tizzy over her newest obsession. Now, I'm sure we've mentioned it before but it's definitely worth repeating, Angi is a creep. This is best showcased by mentioning that she spent most of her day yesterday staring at a man with his wang out. I should probably mention though that this was no ordinary man (or extraordinary husband, sorry Jay the Straight,) but award winning, multi platinum artist Drake. That's right, after years of edging the community with nonsense and playing it super safe, a d video ended up hitting X (see: Twitter) yesterday morning. Now, as one would expect, this thing has been scrubbed clean from the internet because the rich and powerful can do that but this was not before Angi sent me to fetch her a copy of the now infamous 11 second video. Since I did get it for her, she spent the rest of the day sending the video to all of her girlfriends. After all, what kind of empowering, supportive woman friend would she be to other women if she wasn't dropping videos in their inboxes? All this hard work and no play though made Angi consider some things as she replied to "OMG, you're the best!" texts all day. Knowing that my mortal enemy and show staple Angry Bob does some kind of fabrication with plastic and molding, Angi hatched a plan. This was laid out during a segment on the show when she called him this morning with a huge ask. After explaining to the senior citizen who Drake is, she explained that she needed Angry Bob to make molds of Drake's wang that we could sell at our upcoming Angi Taylor Adult Toy Drive. We would also need some for Angi's girlfriends as well but I mean, could you imagine what the response would be if we were able to take the blurry garbage view and turn it into a fistful (or two) of fun? After considering it for a second, Angry Bob offered that he would do it if people were willing to pay. Funny enough, all of Angi's Angi Taylor Money is tied up in betting on the Super Bowl and paying off her wine bill at Liquor Barn so she would need it done for charity sake. Angry Bob then asked for size and Angi explained it's as big as a small child's forearm (yes, this was as messy as you'd think.) She assumes it's about 8 inches and with a blueprint to work from, it seems Angry Bob is in. I could imagine the old curmudgeon who is about to be a grandfather very soon (even today possibly, congrats btw) would end up agreeing to making sex toys for a sex toy drive. Now, we'll have to see if Angi can convince herself to finish constructing the wang drawings before the drive, so stay tuned and maybe stop in and get yourself a limited edition piece. Of course, something this big could not only fit into one second and so we spilled over into a second for some more sex toy talk. Diane called to say that Angry Bob needs to make sure he uses silicone based materials for the toy otherwise it will end up being too hard and stiff (these jokes write themselves) to use. Another listener who's name I apparently didn't write down (was it Dan maybe?) said that when 50 Cent made a mold of his wang, his wife wanted one and he got it for her. Needless to say that the call got a little too blue and we had to skirt around after that but he did add that when they got divorced, she took the house, the car and 50 Cent with her.
Other Stuff from Today's Show:
We've already tackled dongs this morning so let's keep the "Angi is out of control" ball rolling with a revelation. It turns out that Angi is into huffing! I know, I know, you're shocked that the wine loving, rehab dodging, former drug muling mess would somehow be hiding a secret addiction from all of us but that she was. As revealed at the start of the show, it turns out Angi is into huffing. However, before you start adding onto her Promises chart, I should probably explain that it's Puffs Plus Lotion with Vicks that she can't stop wrapping around her face. That's right, this game changing tissue that will clear your sinuses and double as smelling salts is her newest obsession. She loves them so much that she ordered 8 boxes so she is never truly far from one if she needs a fix. Oddly enough, Angi would have not known about these game changing tissues had she not been scrolling through Amazon, which brings us to our Daily Discussion Topic. What is something that you discovered randomly on Amazon that you ended up falling in love with and now can't live without. Angi, who just complained she was too poor to pay Angry Bob to make dong molds, essentially pointed out that she can't stop compulsively spending money on Amazon. Another (of many, buckle in) items she found was a sleeve snuggy for the Apple TV remote which makes it easy to use. One year her daughter was into temporary tattoos and Angi for a temporary tattoo printer that creates temporary tattoos through an app using predesigned designs and your own created images. An LED display mask that Angi wore during Halloween in the studio, another Amazon find. Mike's Hot Honey which Marris apparently now puts on literally everything, Amazon was to thank. A computer stand she uses in the studio was also another scroll find and she has seen the Cinnamon Toast Crunch creamy spread (that is fire!) that she also wants to get into. Jay the Straight bought leather boots and said they were too shiny, well Amazon brought him a leather scuffing kit. One more from Angi are those little squares you put under rugs to keep them from sliding (one slip and grandma goes down.) As for Marris, his offerings were little clips you hang on the wall that can help create hat storage (brilliant imo.) Prison Tattoo wanted his septum pierced and ended up finding a kit on there to do it on his own. As for myself, there are those Tiktok slushie cups that turn your drinks into Slurpees basically. I need to grab one for my rum and cokes because who does not want an alcoholic Slurpee (let's not focus on my drinking problem today.) Over on the Request Line, Janelle said that there is an advanced snail serum that, surprise surprise, Angi has as well that is made from snail mucus. You snail trail your face with it because it's great for your skin. Bob said there's a hand cream for dry hands that he used on his eyes that made his wrinkles disappear. If you are looking for more roadie thoughts or have your own, hit up our Facebook group (Angi Taylor Show) and drop us a comment.
Since we're discussing rampant spending, let's stay on track and look at home ownership. Everyone's favorite window shopping (see, still on track) site Zillow says that buying a home will boost your love life (who'd have imagined.) According to their stats, 42% of people find love after buying a house which makes sense since, as Angi rightfully pointed out, showcases that they have good credit. 51% of younger people tend to find love after getting a house and that probably has to do with not having to worry about mom walking into the basement while you bang. Funny enough, the next given stat was that males are twice as likely than females to be the ones who love comes knocking at their door. Of course, this led to Marris mentioning he is an outlier because he has a home but he has not found true love. Angi insisted that Marris won't be single uncle Marris for the rest of his life because he has independence and nice credit (and don't forget that spiteful gecko.) Marris followed up that he has no free time so enjoying his time away from work is limited and looking for love on top of that, no way. Angi suggested we get him free time because with that, his place and maybe a fake fireplace, Marris' crib could be the perfect home. Plus, if they get cold they can snuggle up next to his PS5 and look at the gecko in her terrarium when she's not sleeping for two weeks straight during hibernation season. Marris did add he is considering getting a fish tank but that requires a lot of effort and he doesn't have "Angi Taylor Money" to have a (as Angi called it) fish jockey to come over and clean it. We ended this weird wrap around from one subject into the next deciding that Marris will get rich selling iPass stickers to lazy people. I mean he gave Angi's hers for free and Prison Tattoo ordered his but think of the tens of others who have yet to do that!
Finally, the Super Bowl is Sunday and DoorDash has dropped the mother of all giveaways for it onto the table. For one lucky watcher who can crack a code in their ad (and then enter it on their website,) they will win one of everything being advertised during Sunday's marathon of nonsense on top of nonsense. The preliminary list is nothing to sneeze at as it includes a BMW i5 M60, Kia EV9, a Volkswagen, 1,000 Popeyes wings, 80 Drumstick ice cream cones, a 30 pound bucket of mayo, 280 bags of M&M, 60 bottles of Mountain Dew Baja Blast, a Fanduel Kick of Destiny helmet, a Clydesdale horse saddle, 720 Reese's Big Cups with Caramel and a ton of other things. You can visit their site to see the accumulated list of prizes but after looking to get some numbers right in here, it is absolutely bonkers. Hearing this has Marris looking forward to the commercials now and again, they are not done. All I know is someone is going to be swimming in everything. It also helps people to want to tune in now since ads are being posted online and it's taking the fun out of wanting to watch but you know damn well our eyes will be glued now.
Request Wars 3.0
Current Champion: Marris (1x)
Angi's Song Choice: “Celebrity Skin” by Hole
Marris' Song Choice: "Are You Gonna Go My Way" by Lenny Kravitz
10 O' Clock Toast:
Toastee: Paris Hilton
Buzzfeed recently put out a list of some pretty incredible facts and one that jumped out involved the hotel heiress/TV star/DJ. It seems that on hard (pun intended) copies of her sex tape, the opening includes a tribute to 9/11 because of course it does. Though it doesn't exist in the digital versions, there are surely some pervs out there that have a copy of this gemstone.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
"Can you imagine? He's (Angry Bob) got to sit there and retrofit his equipment to make wangs." - Angi
"All of a sudden, two seconds later, she's (Paris Hilton) got a rubber chicken up her ass." - Angi