Photo: Flickr RF
This is just a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting, funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast of today's show. However, if you're looking for a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed)
To celebrate the incredible ratings of Rock 95.5 and clearly not because it was Cinco de Mayo, the station took a field trip down the block yesterday to party at Broken English. To facilitate the madness, beloved icon boss Big Poppa went all out. He got 500 tacos, drinks, the works. He went so off the rails in his spending at the bar that they were throwing t-shirts, sweatshirts and beer koozies at him for free. In other words, he was treated like the way Abe gets treated any time he opens his mouth and requests anything from Big Poppa. In other words, it was like being treated like Pretty Woman and that, my dear roadies, was just the start of the insanity. Since the party never stops (and alcoholism is Angi's fortay,) there will be another party today. Only instead of going local, the show will be shipping out to Schamburg come Noon to kick off the initial stop of The Angi Taylor Show "Liquid Lunch" tour. Every two weeks they will be hitting a new stop to party with the roadies, give away free stuff, sell exclusive merch and of course, give Angi a chance to yell at everyone else for a change. So if the notes seem a little light today, it's because we have too much to do and get involved in (plus of course, I'm still hung over from Drink de Mayo yesterday.)
Other Stuff from Today's Show:
As you would know if you are a regular listener of the show, Angi (and Panterica) love to really flex their rock band love. They have all these incredible tour shirts from every band you could possibly imagine. I mean, I'm personally shocked that they have these incredible tour shirts that it would seem to be impossible to get their hands on. On a completely unrelated note, did you know that Urban Outfitters has tons of incredible rock band shirts. well guess what, so does your moms favorite store of all time, Kohl's. This bit of knowledge though also came with a secondary bit of knowledge to indulge in. It seems that the company (shocking for some but not people like me who read the news) is actually now owned by (how are they still in business) JCPenney. Now here's the fun part of all this, as you get an Angi fact to go with an actual fact (I know, real information on this show, I'm shocked as well.) Angi used to work at JCPenney when she was 16 and taught us that JCPenney actually is named after James Cash Penney. He was a hater, it seems, of FDR because the beef between these two led to an instituted policy at his stores that dimes were never on site. So if you ever wondered why your change was in nickels and quarters, there you go. As to what James Cash Penney looked like, look no further than Abe who explained that he looked like that guy from the "Thriller" video (aka Vincent Price.)
Request Wars 2.0:
Champion: Abe (Streak: 1)
Angi's (repping Leon) Song Choice: "Woman" by Wolfmother
Abe's (repping Sloan) Song Choice: "No Easy Way Out" by Robert Tepper
Observation:
Leon from WGCI snuck into the studio yesterday to showcase his knowledge of rock music (which came from being in the army with white dudes.) He was clearly the proper choice for today's play but Abe found himself a Sloan who is dating a guy on steroids (which funny enough Abe has yet to date a guy on steroids.) Smack talk turned to mother talk and Angi tried to push that angle but I think this is weighted in Abe's favor.
Winner: Abe
Don't Kill Angi Weekly Recap:
Angi Is Getting Ready For The Angi Taylor Show Tour
Mon: Angi's tour rider needs its first item
Melanie had Angi decide to put a plate of Popeye's Chicken Sandwiches and a gallon of Mardi Gras mustard as her must have item on her rider. Surprisingly, the venue was able to pull it together and got her exactly what she wanted. The excitement at the slob fest spread out before her was a bit disgusting but Angi (and Abe) were ready to dig in. As the two of them are pigging out, the door to the green room flies open and in walks the enraged stripper bodyguard Angi passed on. His roid rage was in overdrive and he started smashing up the place. The TV was torn off the wall, the couch (with Abe still on it) went flying into the hallway and the plate of chicken sandwiches was tossed to the floor. However, his anger was not satiated and the bodyguard stripper grabbed Angi by the hair and dragged her to the vat of mustard. "This mustard means more than me, does it!" he yelled at her as he dunked her head in it. The strength was too much to fight back against and the bodyguard stripper drowned her in the mustard. (Dead)
Tue: Angi considered which groupie to bring on the tour bus
Adriana had Angi decide to bring Big Cat onto the tour bus to party with her and Abe. The burly hulk of a man jumped onto the bus almost immediately and the trio was having an amazing time. As Angi reached down into her liquor stash, Big Cat asked her to throw him some apple pie moonshine. Angi looked puzzled and explained that there was no moonshine on the bus, just Jack and Zima's for Abe. Big Cat's eyes grew three times their size as fury overtook him and he charged toward Angi. In his hand was an x-acto knife, which she assumed he was going to use on her. However, Big Cat instead smashed through the window close to Angi and landed outside the bus. With the knife still in hand, he used it to slash all the tour bus tires. After he was done, he laughed at his handwork and ran off to look for the closest bar in the area. Angi and Abe ended up stranded in Schaumburg but were no worse for wear. (Alive)
Wed: Angi had to choose a Groupon band as an opening act
Melissa had Angi choose Winger to be the opening act for The Angi Taylor Show "Liquid Lunch" Tour. While Angi was sitting backstage writing insults for upcoming 10 o'clock toasts, Kip Winger waltzed in and demanded that Angi pay his $175 appearance fee upfront. Angi took one look at him and laughed. "Umm, no." The response was not what he respected and so the look on his face went from homeless to furious. He balled up his fists and barreled toward Angi, smashing his hands into her face. Not one to turn down a fight, Angi started to swing back. This was going on for a time before Kip realized he wasn't going to win. Knowing this, he grabbed his mic cord and wrapped it around Angi's neck, strangling her until she finally submitted by dying. (Dead)
Thur: Angi was looking for the perfect prize for the roadies
Paul (the Cokehead) had Angi decide to bring her disgusting, torn out, blood soaked (yet autographed) breast implants as a prize for the roadies. Just the mere mention of the word prize had people in a frenzy and a line had formed around the block to see Angi and Abe. Once inside and settled, Angi draws the winner from an imitation Slash hat that she intends to give Abe on his upcoming birthday in August. The winner she drew was Schlomo, Head Roadie of Anger and his name lived up to it when he was handed the awful prize. He had only come to get a beer koozie since he's an alcoholic and instead, he was given this deflated mess. Enraged, he picked up his beer bottle and smashed it over Angi's head. He proceeded to reach over and grab Jason Brown's beer bottle and smash that on Angi's head as well. He was looking for Abe's but he's a square who doesn't drink at events and so he grabbed Klinger's beer bottle instead, once more smashing it on Angi's head. This vulgar display of hilarity caused a chain reaction, with roadies throwing bottles at Angi like they were stones, others hitting her with bottles and some stabbing her. Angi was left buried under a pile of broken glass where she bled out and suffocated simultaneously. (Dead)
Fri: Angi had to pick her transportation for the trip
Jason had Angi decide to choose Abe's badass 2015 Chevy Impala LTZ as her desired chariot to arrive at the grandest ball of them all. They pull onto Lower Wacker and Angi cranks up the song "Shots." They're having a great time but are also cautious, god only knows how many stories about Lower Wacker that have been done each morning should make them worried. They get stopped at a red light and look over to see someone in a Ford Escort revving up their engine. They've raced before so this was nothing new until they realized the goon in the ride is Bane. Never one to back down from a challenge, Abe speeds forward with Bane in tow. Abe is doing really great but then Bane decided to pull out his super villain card and tried to cut Abe off. Expecting that, Abe did a rope-a-dope spinner and sent Bane flying into a wall. The pair couldn't stop laughing as they continued their drive as one of the major threats of Lower Wacker burned to death in the wreckage. (Alive)
10 O'Clock Toast:
All our roadies coming to the Beerhead Bar. We're heading to Schaumburg right now, we can't wait to hang!
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
"If you're a homeless guy in Schaumburg, maybe I'll hook you up." - Abe
"If you know an ugly Sloan or are an ugly Sloan, call in!" - Abe
"Hey, I heard you're giving a diamond necklace and a pearl necklace to some moms today. What are you giving Angi, a dirty sanchez?" - Minn Barb
PSA's:
PSAngi: I don't like going to a strip club where I see a pastie ... I want titties in my face.