This is just a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting, funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast of today's show. However, if you're looking for a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Points:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
Well, it wouldn't be a Chainsaw Friyay morning without starting on a bit of a worrisome note. Even though Fridays are fun and filled with chainsaws, giveaways and that wonder of just how drunk Angi will be before the show ends. However, this morning started on a bizarre note. The boss was looming over the halls of the station this morning, leading Angi and Abe to assume someone was getting fired. Now, this was not the big boss who groomed Abe with candy bars yesterday but the other boss (and not Todd the Taint, who sits in his throne and barks orders from his office instead of interacting.) After a brief inquiry, it seemed the boss might be in the dog house and that's why he was in this morning. Funny enough, that point led into the secondary point which would eventually trickle down to the main purpose of this ramble. Weekend guy Shark posted a picture yesterday of him and his boy Abe in the old studio before it was set ablaze. This fun photo of two besties palling around led Angi to speculate that Abe is Shark's number 1, which we all sort of figured. However, Angi's number 1 has seemingly moved on from her and that means Jay the Straight might be in the dog house when he gets back from the Super Bowl. Another incident where an innocent photo led to Angi wanting to murder someone, Jay the Straight posted a picture with her best friend Cari Champion. The TV host (Sportscenter, Titan Games) is apparently hosting Jay the Straight while he's in LA for the Super Bowl at her house. This of course is great because that means Jay the Straight isn't wasting $10,000 of Angi's money to stay in a hotel for the weekend. However, Cari is super model hot and in the pic, Jay the Straight surely is grabbing himself a handful of ass with a firm grip. I mean his arm is on her waist but it is slightly wandered. It should be noted that they are close like brother and sister but at the same time, he totally knew what he was doing. I think this starts the next part of the story arc where Jay the Straight gets a double dose of grief when he returns on Monday. To hear how that pans out, check out our next show Tuesday morning.
Right, Monday is Valentine's Day and we will be too hungover from Sunday to make an effort to come in. That is why we instated the Rock 95.5 holiday to make sure you too could revel in relaxing and not having to worry about anything. Hilariously enough though, it happens to fall on Valentine's Day so anyone in a relationship is getting screwed (both proverbially and literally.) That said, when the night is winding down and everyone is done getting down, why not pop in a movie to relax with. With all this in mind, Angi brought out a list of the most popular romantic comedies for each state. By this I mean she gave us a handful because this is a 5 hour show and there is a lot of stuff to give away today between all the tunes. Some people will be shocked to discover that here in Illinois, High Fidelity, the John Cusack record store rom-com adjacent, is not number 1. Instead that honor belongs to the movie with the hottest man ever according to Angi and that would be Jake Ryan and Sixteen Candles. So popular is handsome Jake Ryan that Abe's friend even named his kid after him. So that's cool right or something, let's check in on a few other states. Alabama's favorite is Sex with Your Sister 2 ... wait, I mean Sex in the City 2, I must have gotten confused for a second because I hit my head like Bob Saget. Angi & Abe (myself included as well,) don't understand this because that movie is straight trash. We should give them the benefit of the doubt because we're pretty sure they still get movies from Blockbuster down there and they probably only recently got the movie as is. Wisconsin loves Grease, both the movie and their food covered in it. Indiana, our trash heap neighbor next door, actually loves the movie The Girl Next Door. Over in Utah, they have magic underwear and they love Shrek. Over in California, they are not clueless that Clueless is a great movie and therefore their favorite. Of course, this devolved into a conversation about banging hot older brother Paul Rudd (who wouldn't) even though he was like 40 and she was 16. So there you go, if you need a suggestion of something to watch on Monday and live in one of those states, go watch Pam and Tommy instead.
Other Stuff from Today's Show:
Now, I don't normally go into Head Roadie stuff in my notes because there is not much to mine from the quick appointment. However, today's is a special occasion so I think it makes sense that I plop this down here to cap off these notes. Our Head Roadie choice this week was a blast from Angi Taylor's past, a specter of her time when she worked in Philadelphia. Newly crowned Head Roadie Diego was someone who Angi worked with for 3 or 4 years way back when. He was a radio guy for twenty years until he transitioned to public commute. His call in was nothing short of glowing, talking about how much he loves the show and how he listens to it and the podcast all the time. He also went on to confirm something that Abe and I know far too well, that Angi was drunk all the time. The real meat and potatoes of this was two stories that he decided to drop for us. The first involved her coming in to work drunk (good to see nothing has changed on that front.) She had a thing for the Phillie Phantatic it seems but her wanting to have sex with it was more to do with the costume then the guy in it. Like if he was wearing the head she would bang him. Turns out that between that and her wanting to bang Benny the Bull, Angi might actually be a furry at heart. The other involved Angi and sex again (big shocker right.) This time her and Diego were throwing out a pitch at the Phillies game and afterward, they were sitting in the dugout. Angi was handed a baseball that had an autograph and phone number of baseball player Pat the Bat (some dude, you know I don't follow sports, whatever.) She proceeded to take a pen and write back on the ball that she would go out with him if his batting average was higher. That game, he ended up hitting two home runs and a grand slam. Unfortunately, she never ended up calling him, preferring instead to get it on with some dude dressed up as a horse outside the stadium (I'm assuming.)
Request Wars 2.0:
Champion: Angi (Streak: 1)
Angi's (repping Tom) Song Choice: "Gone Away"
Abe's (repping Santino) Song Choice: "Nightrain"
Observation:
As usual, Abe only picked someone because of their cool name. Santino was such a lock in his mind, Abe refused to even battle Angi over it. Head Roadie Tom actually checked in for his choice, saying that he wanted a "kick butt" song to win. Obviously though, Abe did not stay quiet, pleading for votes and calling Tom a jobber. I have a feeling this will go Angi's way because Guns N' Roses have a horrible Request Wars track record in version 2.0.
Winner: Angi
Don't Kill Angi Weekly Recap:
Angi Is Getting Ready for the Super Bowl
Mon: Cody had Angi place a bet that the Tupac hologram would not show up at the Super Bowl. After placing it, the doorbell of her house rang and upon opening the door, the Tupac hologram set upon Angi. He yelled at her and said for her to keep his name out of her mouth. He pulled out a gun and shot her four times, in the exact spots he was shot when he was killed in Vegas. Angi stumbled back from the presumed force of the bullets before she came to realize holographic bullets can't pierce skin. She slammed the door on hologram Tupac and went about the rest of her day. (Alive)
Tue: Elena had Angi take Abe (instead of me!) to the Super Bowl with her. They went to O'Hare and got a flight with no issue. In fact, the flight attendant even recognized them and they were upgraded to first class. Once seated, they realized that they were sharing the plane with none other than Vince Neil. He was drunk and covered in BBQ sauce (and probably weighing down the plane.) He took one look at them and said that they looked like pound cake. Before they could respond, he leapt from his seat and started to eat Angi. By the time someone could stop him, she had nothing but bones left in her seat. (Dead)
Wed: Michelle had Angi decide to take a Cuban cigar from Joe Burrow. Angi and Joe started smoking the cigars and had a great time. Angi goes on to explain that she's rooting for the Bengals when asked what team she's getting behind. Then Joe asked her how much she planned on betting on the game. Angi explained she was betting her kids' college fund on the Rams. Furious, Joe flicked his lit cigar at Angi, which caused her hair extensions to catch fire (yeah, she got them before leaving.) The fire traveled through her hair and across her body, torching her to a crisp. (Dead)
Thur: Jenna had Angi decide to run up to the Bengals mascot Who Dey and decide to start making out with him. This whole affair made Nipplegate look like a joke as she worked him over, including a double hand slide up and down the tale. Unfortunately, Rampage the Ram's mascot works for the FCC and was not into such a vulgar display of affection. Enraged, he charged into her and knocked her to the ground. He was not through though as he continued to ram her, eventually bludgeoning her to death with his costumed head. (Dead)
Fri: Frank had Angi decide to confront Jay the Straight who was sitting with all the Barker's Beauties (from The Price Is Right.) She began charging down the aisle but a familiar sound ended up distracting her. As "Shots" blared from the speakers, Angi looked over to see people downing Jack Daniels shots. Instinctively, she made her way to them and began downing them like mad. One shot, two shot, jello shot, boob shot, she got absolutely wasted. This allowed her to forget about Jay the Straight's cheating and he got to hook up with a ton of hot girls (and one old bag.) (Alive)
10 O'Clock Toast:
Joe Burrow. Everyone is rooting for the Bengals.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
"I wouldn't be caught dead playing bingo in Las Vegas, I'm too cute." - Angi
"You know what, there's been more men in jerseys inside Taylor's vagina than there was in that coliseum that day." - Minn Barb
New Head Roadie Alert! Congrats Diego, Head Roadie of Philly
Best Bet of the Week: Take the LA Rams -4 against the Cincinnati Bengals