This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
It's Lollapalooza weekend and that means that anything involving being downtown is worse than normal. This is a problem that resonates and is felt three times over by people like Angi and Abe who need to be doing stuff down there while the suburban teen drug fest is occurring. For example, today's hellscape is the utter lack of parking. Seriously, the pair arrive at the building around 4 A.M. and still, the parking garage is literally packed to the brim. This was more so felt by Angi who this morning had to drive around the garage to different levels to finally get herself a spot. It was during this that she noticed her target of ire that spawned this topic. Motorcycles, particularly motorcycles that take up an entire parking spot. Here, the question was a simple one, born out of frustration. Should a motorcycle be allowed to have an entire parking spot to itself? Like, these are big spots, you could fit two motorcycles in there. Abe tried to play the voice of reason here (I know, I'm shocked as well,) showcasing that if they pay for the spot they can park there solo. Angi came up with a better idea, how about they make motorcycle specific parking spots and then they can just shove them all on there. Luckily for us, the voice of reason's spirit left Abe and nonsense returned when he gave us places to park a motorcycle instead. How about putting it behind a tree? You could stuff it behind a bike rack. Better yet, just toss it on the sidewalk (note: rereading this in my shorthand notes made me spit up my water.) Angi continued to push the idea of 2-3 bikes in each spot and Abe then went back to defending a singular spot when you pay $57 to park. We got into more back and forth about whether or not abusing one space with just one motorcycle makes sense and ended that piece with no agreement. Pivoting quickly to another parking point, it was explained that basically most people who leave the Iheart parking garage are idiots. As we've been told before and are revisiting for the sake, that arm that keeps you from exiting before paying is broken yet again. By broken I don't mean malfunctioning, what I mean is it is literally lying on the ground. It happens every single week, someone ends up driving through it and ripping it off. It could be stupidity, it could be not wanting to pay $37 for parking (the amount of cost varied through the whole conversation.) Basically, the idea we were supposed to take away from this is that parking garages are an absolute rip off.
All the Rest:
Umm you guys, Fred Durst is apparently going through something and perhaps an intervention is due. If you hop on over to Abe's socials, you can see a video from last night's Lollapalooza after show in which he is literally dressed like a grandpa. Seriously, he looks like an old man, complete with gray hair and a handlebar moustache. He literally looks like he stumbled out of the Beastie Boys "Sabotage" video and is heading down to work at Pawn Stars after their show here on Saturday night. Angi and Abe both didn't have a chance to attend the show but I do hear that Conrad and Minnesota Barb were there. Conrad got manhandled by Fred and Minn Barb got a moustache ride from Fred ... lucky girl! There was also the Journey show last night and from the pics that land predator Shark posted, it seemed like the place was also packed to the brim. However, this is all a blessing that is soon about to probably be yanked out from under us. As we've seen, covid is racing up the charts looking to take back it's number 1 spot and with the rampant stupidity in not wanting to be vaccinated, there's a good chance it will succeed. That said, this also means that masking will probably return come Monday. Once the city gets that check from Perry, there's a good chance we'll be back to covering up our most ridiculous instrument. Something to consider, this may screw with the Guns N' Roses show. You know who had the foresight to skip out on this impending mess, Mötley Crüe. Their postponement totally had to do with them knowing that covid was not over and nothing to do with Vince Neil being a complete fat pig that can't stop eating.
Current Champion: Leann
Champion Song Choice: "Bawitdaba"
Challenger Song Choice: "One"
Observation: I literally have nothing to add here, this might be the worst 5 song reign I've ever seen. If Metallica loses to Kid Rock, I'm joining Angi on a ledge.
Don't Kill Angi Weekly Recap:
Angi and Abe are in Indiana and they need to get to Grant Park
Mon: Kim had Angi get a lap dance at the wash rag strip club. Angi laughed at Penelope Pumpkins' aspiration to become a veterinarian, which caused Penelope to slit Angi's throat with a razor blade.
Tue: Bill had Angi try to feed Jason Brown's koi fish bagel bites. Instead, the fish jumped out of the pond and ended up eating her alive.
Wed: Jake had Angi bury her Lolla drugs by the pitcher's mound. A pack of wild dogs ran over and started mauling Angi. Turns out they were drug sniffing dogs, oops.
Thur: 8 Inch Rob had Angi ride Miley Cyrus' wrecking ball with Miley. They started making out but there was too much weight on the wrecking ball. It broke and flew off the stage. Luckily, Angi went flying into the arms of Jim Adkins from Jimmy Eat World.
Fri: Danny had Angi give Fred Durst some shrooms and it helped him mellow out and not kill her.
10 o' Clock Toast:
Live Shows. They may go away after Monday but let's enjoy it while we can.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
Quote: "I don't want anyone to follow me, I just wanna be unblocked." - Abe
Quote: "Can't you just park your motorcycle behind a tree?" - Abe
Quote: "She was washing her box in Buckingham Fountain, they should probably drain that thing." - Minn Barb