Martha Stewart listed her holiday party do's and don'ts with Andy Cohen. The list includes ALWAYS bringing a gift (even if the host says not to), don't change the seating chart, don't arrive too early or late, and get rid of lingering guests politely.
Holy sh*t. Martha Stewart seems like a perfectly nice lady, but I would never want to attend any of those parties she's talking about. All of these problems could be solved by simply hanging out with people you actually like and who actually like you in return.
I'm just not here for promoting this weird secrecy culture. "They told me not to bring a gift, but I have to bring a gift." No! Say what you mean. When I say I don't want a gift I DO NOT WANT A GIFT. It makes me feel awkward if you bring one anyway, cuz now I know you will always expect a gift and to follow some antiquated etiquette around you. Uncomfortable af. And now I have to act grateful for this thing that I specifically said I didn't want? Thanks for the respect for my boundaries.
And why is there a seating chart at a party??
We're supposed to be among friends. Sit where you're comfortable. Arrive when it's convenient for you (just accept I may or may not have everything ready. Who cares?). Leave when you get tired, or sleep on the couch. I'm going to bed when I get tired. I don't care how long you stay.
Then again, I'm not exactly *high class.*