Photo: Flickr RF
This is just a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting, funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast of today's show. However, if you're looking for a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed)
Whereas Angi was not living it up in Denmark, Abe on the other hand was having a wild time the other day. Well, technically not Abe but you wouldn't be wrong to assume that he was the subject of this blind item. You see, Abe was the one that alerted Angi via text about shenanigans that are occurring outside of his condo. Apparently, at 6:05 A.M. every morning, a guy sits in his car and chokes the chicken. When asked why he hasn't been dealt with, apparently he needs to be caught in the act in order for something to happen. Funny enough, this serial stroker drives an Impala but unlike Abe his is black and an LT. Angi was not buying any of this and accused Abe of photoshopping out the Z in the LT and then using paint to alter the LT color. The next assumption was that it might be the White Sox catcher who was having his way with his goods. While discussing this, Angi had a stroke of genius. She wanted to hear about weird things that roadies have seen people do in public. Abe explained that he has a friend (of course he does,) he poops all over the place. Behind trees, in a Walgreens, in a parking lot. One would be right to assume Abe is talking about a dog but no, he meant a person. Angi has seen people poop on the street in front of the iHeart building so it seems this topic is going to stink. I guess we should hear what the roadies called in and had to say before Abe has to bail "his friend with the Impala who totally isn't him" out of jail. Jamie once saw a dad feeding his kid like he was a baby bird out in public. Food chewed up and then spit into the mouth of the child. Abe was horrified upon hearing this revelation and Abe was just disgusted. It should be added that the kid was like 4 and Abe went on to assume that the food was pushed down with his tongue (I hate my job.) Hector talked about a guy he used to see on the bus who would watch porn at full volume on his phone ... with no headphones on. Angi assumed that because he saw it so clearly, Hector was sitting next to this guy while he did it. Mike was standing in line (assuming he was at a Walmart) and he saw a guy reach his hand into his butt crack and then started sniffing his hand. Paul saw a homeless guy whip out his wang and just start walking and peeing as he went forward. Ironically (not really,) Abe has done this before. Angi though was impressed hearing about him doing this (and she would probably do it if she had a wang.) Back to pooping, Abe used to see a lady who would poop all over the Walmart that he used to work at. David saw a homeless man lying on a bench, one leg lifted up who was peeing all over everyone who walked by. We started this with wanking and ended it feeling bad about the homeless, full circle moments are key on this show.
Other Stuff from Today's Show:
And we are back on the air once again finally is the longest way to possibly say that we had a few days off to get Angi reacclimated from her trip to Denmark. In case you hadn't tuned in last week, Angi was plucked from her plush Chicago couch napping for a 48 hour jaunt over in Denmark to talk about radio. Abe said exactly what most of us were thinking, that this was a complete waste of time. As to why our Queen of Chicago scurried off to the land of 5,000 men and 2 women, she was speaking at something called Radio Days. Funny enough, I think this actually took place in Sweden but the train ride from Sweden to Denmark is roughly Chicago to Gary. This also allowed for Angi to be in three countries in one day (as opposed to the normal three countries inside of her in one day that we come to expect.) Now, I know you're all expecting to hear about all the partying Angi did while out there. Unfortunately, it was less Danes in the hottub pouring champagne on her frankentits and more her sleeping off jet lag in her hotel room. As pointed out prior, the ratio of men to women in the country is such that after Sleeping Taylor pissed a day away napping, she didn't bother to leave the hotel. Unlike old Angi, who would have mounted a conquest to mount as many men as possible, new (and anniversary celebrating) Angi behaved herself. Back to the conference, it was filled with European Bobcat's, which is the Europe equivalent of our Rock a' Doodle dorks here in America. After hearing all these dumb bits and wanting to jump out of a Danish window, Angi pondered why she didn't use the excuse the "bigger" radio star over in New York used. He had covid and had to be there virtually. Speaking of covid, the rigorous testing for it almost made Angi miss her flight. She had taken a covid test before she left but it turns out that in order to fly home, she would need a fresh test. Running through the airport to a station, it took an hour and a half for her to get a test and she almost missed her flight. The whole thing wasn't even a viable trip and the trouble was just not worth it. To sum it up, it was an incredible waste of time. However, at least Angi got some pictures ... of the Swedish McDonald's. Essentially, everything was covered in bacon and had more dipping sauces than even Abe could have probably handled. Of course, there was a downside (which if you've been paying attention, this whole trip seemed to have been,) in that the fries are different there and taste more akin to Burger King fries. Abe, in all his infinite wisdom, blamed the water there.
So, when you turn 18, you are technically considered an adult. This is obviously weird because I know 40 year olds who don't act like adults but let's roll with it. Since 50% of people don't feel that they are adults until a certain age, we explored what age Angi and Abe felt it as well as the surveyed list of milestones that people believe indicate adulthood. For Abe, when he moved to Miami for a radio job at 25, things finally felt real to him. He was away from everyone, living on his own and just learning what it was like to embrace adulthood. Angi felt the same even though that hood rat was on the streets at 16. Now, it should be noted that Abe technically had an apartment at 21 but that was with a roommate in the same state. For me, I'm about to be 42 in a week and a half and I still don't feel like an adult at all. Sure, I've had my own place, dealt with close personal deaths and all that such but I don't feel like an adult because I'm not an old man. Anyway, the list is as follows:
1) Getting your own house. Funny enough, Angi and Abe both bought their first house at 39.
2) Getting married.
3) Having your own bank account. Abe did have a passbook at 7, though apparently Abe "lost it."
4) Doing your own taxes.
5) Paying for your own phone. I remember that topic!
6) Having a steady paycheck.
7) Voting.
Finally, we took a quick look at the hottest new trend in advertising, which is getting people to dump their life savings in get rich quick schemes. For example, there was 80's heartthrob Tom Selleck who traded in his beloved TV appearances to help take your home. So, with that in mind, who's up next on the list of celebrities fallen so far down the ladder, they are looking for ways to screw you over. Why it's show staple and rampant fat pig Vince Neil. That's right, that fat disgusting slob is now doing loan commercials because someone needs to pay his expensive ass grocery bills. His spokesman gig is for a place called Dollar Loan Center and they pulled out all the stops to get him on board. Three plates of doughnuts, a plate of melted cheese covering a bag of processed meat, a hundred cans of frosting, thirteen bags of chocolate covered marshmallows, six pizzas, etc. In the commercial, there's girls and he's riding a zamboni (that has a pair of elderly people being run over by that zamboni.) Angi has reached her breaking point with Vince but she is not ready to turn her back on him (until after the concert at least.) That said, if the video of the commercial is played during the show, stay the hell out of Angi's way cause someones getting decked.
Request Wars 2.0:
Champion: Angi (Streak: 3)
Angi's (repping Armando) Song Choice: "Back in the Saddle" by Aerosmith
Abe's (repping The Enforcer) Song Choice: "Cryin'" by Aerosmith
Observation:
Today, even though it was an Aerosmith battle, the whole point was to discuss The Enforcer this morning. That's right, he runs job sites, he was all about Alicia Silverstone and much like Abe, he gets things done. Angi on the other hand just wanted to rock and slam dunked down Abe aka The King of Midtempo Songs.
Winner: Angi
10 O'Clock Toast:
Vince Neil. You fallen hero fat bastard, your shilling for a loan company has destroyed the little faith Angi had left in you.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
"Everyone you know who died expected to live longer than Ozzy and Keith Richards." - Abe