This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
As you probably already know, everyone loves to play games. Card, board, video, mind, these are beloved games that each and every one of us tend to play on a regular basis. This talk about gaming started with Monopoly, everyone's favorite real life fist fight simulator that ends up with hurt feelings, hurled insults and dad going to the bar to "blow off some steam." A new study has shown that the absolute best Monopoly strategy is to buy up all the red and orange properties. It seems that these are the most landed on so you're going to have your best chance at pulling cash by owning them. Furthermore, when you've gobbled up all that land, make sure you throw down as many houses as possible on them. However, don't upgrade to hotels, just keep the houses. Apparently, if you keep using the houses and don't swap them out, they become a hot commodity because you can't make more (according to Angi's rules.) That's right, apparently hidden in the rules there is a usually unused rule that as long as there's no houses left, you can't add more into the game (way to get realistic on us Monopoly.) See most people are in a rush to toss houses for hotels without realizing this. It's apparently cheating to sub in other items like the thimble and dog as a substitute house when you've run out. So there you go, next time you play Monopoly, buy all the houses and don't relinquish the control of that property. So now that we've moved on to cheating in that game, what about other games. Is there a game that is not allowed in your household because of cheating (or to a harsher extent, yelling, fist fights and knife play?) For Angi, she will not play a card game called Golf with Jay the Straight and his best friend. It's a game that involves remembering numbers and this is a two fold issue for Angi. First and foremost, there's the fact that she has early onset so remembering things is hard as is. Furthermore though and much more pressing, the two of them will team up and start saying random numbers to throw her off and make her forget what she should be remembering. As for Abe, being an absolute degenerate, loves a game called Between the Sheets. This is another card game where it involves math and not being a moron. Since Abe is amazing with numbers and street math, he loves to get into this mess. When I say degenerate btw I heavily emphasize this point by adding that Abe was once involved in a game that had a $6,000 pot. I probably should also mention the elephant in the room, Request Wars. As we all have come to learn, Angi and Abe will cheat their way any way they can to get a win. Stolen valor, lying about gout, guilt tripping, rampant anger, there is nothing off the table when it comes to these two and their want to win the coveted Request Wars belt. With that mess behind us, Angi took to the phones. Roadie Kathy's forbidden game in her house was Yahtzee. She is usually lucky and tends to win but that went against her once. As she trounced her sister in several games, she got furious and accused her of cheating. Kathy was called a slut and it led to a full on fist fight when she returned the insult by punching her sister in the face. Cory always would get grief from his family when they played Jenga because they accused him of cheating because he would tap bricks and then change his mind. Hitting home one more time, Jay the Straight would refuse to play golf with Angi's dad because he would lie about strokes and throw the ball if it would land somewhere he didn't want it to. As for my place, we are not allowed to play Screw the Dealer (usually known by another non-radio friendly name.) Our reasoning is that a certain friend got a bit too salty once when they were constantly getting screwed over and they ended up refusing to drink after a while because they couldn't break the cycle.
All the Rest:
So yesterday was the big massive Hella Mega Tour. With the combined efforts of Fall Out Boy, Weezer and Green Day, all of Chicago had their faces rocked off. Correction, everyone but Angi and Abe had their faces rocked off at the show. You see, Angi and Abe were not given tickets to go and so while they stayed home and streamed TV, everyone else had a good time. You know who especially enjoyed the show last night, The Delta Variant because for whatever reason, vax cards and negative test results were not required (unlike non super spreader event Lolla.) While Angi's daughter and the rest of the city partied until late into the night, Angi was in bed by 10 and not getting her cash and prizes pulverized (more on that shortly.) There was a question of how people are able to party like this these days though? Hanging out until midnight at the show, having a ton of drinks and then going to work 5 hours later. If it was manual labor, there's a good assumption that people were not showing up. Listener Jason was at the show and said it was amazing. However, it was a nightmare to get into as there were so many people vying for their coveted seats. He did confirm that there was no checking on vaccination status. He did say that the best part of the show though was all the pot (and the strange, which he lied about getting because it's cool to lie to strangers on the radio.) Abe did bring up an interesting point though in the lack of checking vaccination status. They don't check that stuff at the Sox and Cubs games so why would a concert at Wrigley be any different? Regardless, if you went we hope you were vaccinated, had a good time and feel blessed that you were allowed to go to the show (Angi and Abe were quite bitter about this.) Speaking on other plans that fell through this weekend, as we learned on Friday, Angi was given two massive bottles of Viagra. Her intention had been to dump an entire bottle down Jay the Straight's throat and basically spend her weekend getting nailed and railed to the point she would need to ice the wound. Hell, she even plugged the ice maker in her freezer in anticipation she wouldn't be able to sit or walk straight this morning. However, it seemed fate had different plans for Angi. Her mom was in town this weekend and she decided that the hotel she booked was not up to snuff. Luckily, Angi has a home with a spare bedroom next to her room and so her mom and her husband decided to stay there. She didn't leave until yesterday and by the time she did, there was no time for putting the ace in the hole (plus Jay the Straight was golfing yesterday.) By the time he was home and the nest was empty, she was just too tired and too depressed to take it all. Another thing that came aside from Angi having no sausage in her mouth all weekend was that her mom hates silence. Since there is a constant need for noise, Her mother had a lot of boring stories to tell to keep a constant hum going. Since her parents are retired, all the things she has to talk about are insanely uneventful. She told Angi how they walk 3 miles every day on trails and all the animals they see. Of course, this led Abe to explain how he hates trails (because the list needs to keep growing) and Angi is just indifferent to them while bordering on not caring. There was talk about deer, owls, squirrels, fish and other boredom inducing madness. No sex, no 87 hour erection and they will both be out of town next weekend so we are probably out of luck on hearing what it's like to deep dive into Angi's Blockbuster Video store once more.
The other two big topics today involved celebrities where one played the name game and the other celebrated buying t-shirts at Target. So let's start with The Name Game and what a game it was, let me tell you. Sure, it was no Vince Neil Jeopardy (but let's face it nothing is.) Anyway, the point of this game was Angi would give Abe a celebrity stage name and he was to see if he could guess who they were. Spoiler alert, he was no good at this game at all.
Celeb Stage Name - Abe Guess - Real Name:
Olivia Cockburn - Billie Eilish - Olivia Wilde
Eric Marland Bishop - Paulie Shore - Jamie Foxx (Fun Fact: He picked this because he wanted a unisex name to get booked.)
Michael John Douglas - None Given - Michael Keaton
David Robert Jones - None Given, supposedly knew - Bowie
Reginald Dwight - Dwight Yokham - Elton John
Destiny Hope Cyrus - Knew It, Last Name Giveaway - Miley Cyrus
Emily Jean Stone - None Given - Emma Stone
Abe gave two of his own after Angi's list that shocked her. Stanley Eisner aka Paul Stanley and Bill Bailey aka Axl Rose.
Since we're talking about, let's add another little section to this. A woman who named her daughter Delta found the poor kid suffering now that Delta is the hot new life ruining covid variant. For this reason, the airline Delta sent her a bunch of free stuff. Abe explained that he too suffered for being an Abraham as a kid, always getting called Abraham Lincoln. He cried over it for years (childhood trauma alert, write it down Angi) but now, he loves his name. Angi wanted to know if anyone else had weird names. An email was sent to the show from a Bill Cosby who now has to go by William Cosby for obvious reasons. Zach apparently got goofed on for being named Zach, he tried to have them unlock his cryptic reasoning but game time was over so who cares. Another discussed how she had boys named Ricardo and Roberto and how they inadvertently became show favorite name Ricky Bobby.
Finally, since the Hella Mega Tour was last night as we heard all morning, Angi wanted to talk about the most popular band shirts. Well, popular for most people as we were reminded several times over that young Angi was poor and she couldn't afford tour shirts (and honestly I still think she's lifting them off the rack at Target.) Anyway, number one was AC/DC. Angi has 2 AC/DC shirts she got from Target (see, told you) and even though she saw them at The Monsters of Rock tour, she couldn't afford to buy the tour shirts. Abe saw them at Wrigley but did not buy the shirt, not because he's poor but he refuses to pay $60 for a shirt. Back to the list, the rest were as follows in order: Aerosmith, Queen, Pink Floyd, Green Day, Bob Marley, Foo Fighters, The Beatles, Prince and Ariana Grande. Abe explained (and had told us as well fairly recently,) that his most prized were his 2 Van Halen "Balance" shirts. Angi saw that tour as well and of course could not afford those shirts. Hey Target, get some more band shirts, Angi needs to update her wardrobe and seem cool (since she and Abe can't get tickets to shows.)
Request Wars 2.0:
Champion: Angi (Streak: 2)
Angi's (repping Zed) Song Choice: "Am I Evil?"
Abe's (repping Keith) Song Choice: "The Trooper"
Observation: Angi's dreams and hopes rest on Metallica, she doesn't need smack talk to win when she has them. Abe brought the mighty Maiden though to bury her under a pile of bodies. Angi's chance of keeping hope alive is being a little too cocky, she should be worried.
Winner: Abe
10 o' Clock Toast:
Angi's Mom. She prevented Angi from visiting the Porta Viagra aka Pound Town this weekend by staying at Angi's house.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
"I would never want to step foot in North Carolina." - Abe
PSAbe: If you've ever been in a fist fight at any kind of a game, immediately reevaluate your life.