The Angi Taylor Show

The Angi Taylor Show

Email: angitaylorshow@iheartmedia.comFull Bio

 

What's in the Box!!!??? - ATS - 7.9.24

For a second day in a row I find myself chronicling the Angi Taylor ailments like I'm some kind of journalist steeped deep in a war. However, unlike that guy on the front lines, I'm in the comfort of my own home thinking of clever ways to make fun of Angi's failing health so it's a good trade off. That said, it's no secret that most of us are either old or getting to the point of being old enough that our various health maladies consume our conversation (even young/old man Marris is in that boat.) As for granny Taylor, she made a scheduled visit to the doctor yesterday after her eye doctor told her she had "blood pressure eyes." After giving her a squeeze, it turned out Angi's blood pressure was absolutely fine but the real concern is her cholesterol. Now, it should be noted that she has "familia" cholesterol so even if she made the right choices like being a vegetarian for 15 years and a vegan for a time, she's still a mess and has been since she was 13. The same can be said for Marris so he absolutely understood where Angi is coming from. To get a better feel for just how bad she is, Angi's normal cholesterol is 316 and the proper should be under 200. As for her LDL (aka the bad kind,) hers is 237 and it should be under 100. In other words, we should start prepping the coffin choices because Angi's arteries are basically made of wax. To offset this though, Angi has now been placed on a statin which she'll have to take forever but hopefully it will keep her from stroking out or having a heart attack on air. This is also not a bad thing because she has wanted to be on one for a long time seeing as this is genetic and her grandfather had 3 strokes that led to him getting dementia so the fear is valid (unlike 89% of her other nonsense.) As for the secondary treatment Angi was served, that honor belongs to Cologuard, the at-home colonoscopy kit. Obviously, there was a confusion on how she actually goes about taking the test (we would learn from a roadie in a secondary segment,) but we do know it involves Angi giving her UPS man a box of poop (which is probably better than the half drunk bottle of wine she gave him for Christmas last year.) While Marris lamented the poor UPS man that has to handle Angi's orange sherbert scoops, Angi talked about how she had sworn that her pooping in a box days were over (more on that in the secondary segment offshoot.) Either way, our horse looks like she still has a bit more life left in her but you know, tick tock.


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