The Angi Taylor Show

The Angi Taylor Show

Email: angitaylorshow@iheartmedia.comFull Bio

 

Angi Taylor Show Recap With Jay The Gay -2-3-2023

Photo: Flickr RF

This is just a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting, funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast of today's show. However, if you're looking for a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.

Call in Point:

(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed)

In what will go down as a major milestone moment for this show, Abe had an incredible announcement to make this morning. This was then upstaged about 10 minutes later when Angi swooped in with the same exact announcement and I smell a rivalry being born that will be the next Sox vs Cubs. So this mess all started with Abe putting out a teaser that he was receiving a major honor, something we've all waited years for. Now, this could have gone plenty of ways and we've been psyched out by Abe plenty of times but this time, it was not some silly ploy. It turns out that Abe is finally getting a burger named after him. Berger Station in Chicago Ridge has decided that if Abe is going to die from eating meat, so should others. He's allowed to put anything he wants on it and it comes with extra mayo right off the bat. Now, there has been no confirmation as to what Abe is putting on it just yet but it will more than likely have bacon, cheese, grilled onions and of course, that extra mayo. The reason there has been no decision made is because he needs to see the thickness of the beef (hell yea brother) to decide the perfect ratio of other stuff on it. If it's anything like the Kanan Klogger at Culver's (there's a throwback for you,) it will be 2 burgers, 4 pieces of cheese, 6 slices of bacon and a copy of your will. In a hilarious ironic twist, Abe mentioned that he will be going in today to work on it while Angi was disgusted. See, Angi doesn't have a burger named after her (or a drink for that matter.) Angi has no accolades, no awards but Abe did promise to bring her a burger after he made one today. Again, this is all so funny because of what will come after we put this segment to bed only to have it return like a meaty zombie with the secondary announcement. Before that though, Angi wanted to hear from the roadies what would go on their burger if they had one named after them. The Request Line was buzzing so we got to that before Angi's breaking news. Michelle would want ketchup and mayo on her burger which immediately got a thumbs down from Abe. It didn't matter that it wasn't anything too crazy because Abe hates ketchup it seems. Also another fun little tidbit, this burger was supposed to come out last month but because of the No Mayo Jan Challenge, it had to be postponed. As for Michelle's burger, Angi suggested maybe throwing some onion rings on it. Dave wanted his signature burger to have pepper cheese, bacon, jalapenos and coleslaw. This one got a thumbs up from both of them, the idea of coleslaw really drew them in. Kristy wanted double meat, slices of Pepper Jack cheese, sriracha mayo, bacon and thin avocado slices. Abe was all in on the idea but Angi tapped out when the avocado was introduced. Eric wanted to spin on the BLT with bacon, lettuce, tomato, mayo, hot sauce and 4 jalapeno slices. Head Roadie Bob essentially mirrored Abe's burger only swapping the cheese to blue cheese. Amy wanted a thin smashburger, cheddar cheese, crispy onions, extra mayo, bacon and pickle slices or fried pickles. It seemed that we were done making the roadies mouths water when suddenly, Susie called to offer Angi her own burger at Jesse's Tavern. The ironic hilarity twist was that this place is right across the street from Berger Station, essentially triggering the aforementioned cross town rivalry. Angi isn't the biggest burger person but she strived to create something amazing and sweetened her meal deal by throwing in a shot. The Angi Taylor Handshake special will be worked on tomorrow at Jesse's Tavern so expect to hear more about this on Monday (along with more info on Abe's burger.) If you are looking for more roadie comments or have your own, hit up our FB group and read up or drop us a comment.

Other Stuff from Today's Show

Before all this insane burger talk took over this morning's show, it seemed like the theme for this Friday was going to be death. Well more like death and being saved, which were the counterbalance topics that started us out this morning as Abe almost died in the iHeart elevator but was also saved from a conversation yesterday by Angi. It began with the show starting a little late this morning because Abe was stuck in the steel death trap that the building calls an elevator. This allowed Angi to recall the time that her and WGCI on air personality Tone Kapone almost died in one of the elevators in the building. It had gone up to the 15th floor, stopped and then dead dropped down to the 4th. After the emergency break kicked in, the elevator started back up and returned back, flying upwards and vaulting them through the ceiling. Sure, that extra part at the end might be made up but let's be real, it's honestly bound to happen one of these days. Anyway, as I mentioned prior, Abe was technically saved by Angi yesterday when he was in the parking garage. The pair usually park behind one another and so it was easy for her to overheard Abe mid conversation with someone. She assumed it was some jobber that had accosted Abe in the garage for chopping it up but she had assumed wrong. It turned out Abe was actually having a great conversation with ironically Tone Kapone. She didn't realize this until he turned around but the plan had still been in motion. Angi drove by and said that she had been trying to call him though she sold it like Abe's mom had fallen down a well. Abe was able to get out of the conversation, which he had been enjoying, mind you but was touched at the idea of Angi going to bat for him like she did. Angi explained that she's there to help as any good friend would be and the pair went their separate ways. Of course, this should be the end of this story but like every good movie, there's one additional scene tacked on. While driving home, Angi assumed Abe was driving behind her. When she got to a red light, she had looked down for half a second just as the light turned green. The car behind her honked its horn at her and Angi just assumed it was Abe. In response, Angi flipped the car off and then proceeded to text Abe about it. The proverbial egg ended up on Angi's face though when it turned out it wasn't Abe honking at her. Now I guess we're going to hear about how the stranger in the car tried to kill Angi come Monday morning.

Finally, everyone knows Abe has an irrational fear of being murdered by a bear. He also apparently has a fear of going onto on and off ramps as he thinks he's going to crash or get crashed into. He is also probably going to end up drowned in a pond. To put some of these fears to rest, Angi gave the betting odds on your actual chances of dying in certain scenarios.

Lightning - 138,000 to 1

Dog Attack - 69,000 to 1

Bee/Wasp Sting - The stats weren't given as the pair discussed not knowing if they're allergic and how Angi almost crashed her car when one flew in it.

Airplane - 11,000 to 1

Drowning in a Pool - 10,000 to 1

Accidentally Shot with a Firearm (or by Alec Baldwin) - 8,000 to 1

Sunstroke - Again we were treated to how Angi had it once and peed herself and passed out instead of the odds.

Choking on Food - 2,700 to 1

Building Fire - 1,800 to 1

Alcohol Poisoning - 1,600 to 1

Medical Incident - 798 to 1

Car Crash - 101 to 1

Don't Kill Angi Weekly Recap:

Mon: Angi wanted to hook up the cart people at Binny's

Lisa had Angi decide to take her cart to the corral covered in frozen pee. Since she had given up on dry January, Angi was in dire need of a wine and Jack restock at her house. After filling a cart to the brim with bottles, Angi shuffled carefully out of Binny's and into the parking lot. Taking into account the fact that Abe had fallen down and then almost slipped and falling herself while laughing about it, Angi took all the proper precautions. Parking next to the entrance, Angi unloaded all the booze into her car and all she had left to do was return the cart to the corral. Picking the one a bit further away since the one closest was covered in vomit, Angi pushed it in and was essentially home free. However, as she walked back to the car, she began to slip but attempted to hold her balance. People had already gathered and were filming for WorldStar after her purchase and were now ready to catch this old woman falling down. Unlucky for them though, Angi was incredibly adept at falling and as she started to go down again, she went forward and did a triple axel. She landed on her feet and slid into her car, catching onto it and not ever falling. She was damn lucky that she decided to wear her Jordan's as they have amazing traction. Angi got in the car and drove home to drink another day. (Alive)

Tue: Angi wanted to kill Taylor Swift (in her dreams)

Rich had Angi decide to have Angi beat Taylor Swift to death with John Mayer's guitar. After suffering a bad night of sleep due to hearing "Shake It Off" fifteen times, Angi found her dreams plagued by Taylor Swift. The other Taylor (Angi) was enraged by all this and decided Taylor (Swift) needed to be taken out. Taking time out of her busy day drinking wine and watching 90 Day Fiancé, Taylor (Angi) taught herself how to lucid dream. Armed with the knowledge of how to realize that things were existing in the dream state, Taylor (Angi) went to bed and prepared to destroy her rival Taylor (Swift.) Asleep in moments, Taylor (Angi) found the other Taylor (Swift) standing outside of a wooden cabin creating TikTok's. Taylor (Angi) materialized John Mayer's guitar and stomped over toward Taylor (Swift.) Before Taylor (Swift) could say a single word, Taylor (Angi) picked up the guitar and smashed it down onto Taylor (Swift's) head. The dream Taylor (Swift's) head exploded into a cloud of red mist which left Taylor (Angi) free from the dream plague and allowed her to finally sleep properly. (Alive)

Wed: Angi wanted to retire like Brady

Jocelyn had Angi decide to retire by punching everyone in the face that she's wanted to punch in the face for years. Though the list wasn't on paper (as no smart person leaves a paper trail,) Angi had a mental image for each jobber, douche and a-hole she's ever encountered. She started with that one jobber, hitting him square between the eyes. Then she moved on to Todd the Taint, sending a flying uppercut under his chin. There was that one bitch that she hated, another punch thrown. Oh, that guy, he got it good as well. She also didn't forget that other dude, he's had it coming forever. Her reign of terror seemed destined to never end and as she walked down the hall searching for her next target, Big Papa appeared from around the corner. He had heard about her smackdown and commended her on getting out the aggression. The thing is, he's known Angi to be the GOAT for some time but much like the other GOAT, Tom Brady, Angi would need to go back for another year before she could retire for real. Angi got ready to give a long winded speech but suddenly, Tom Brady appeared from behind Big Papa. He wanted to have one last play before he truly got out of the game for good and so he told Angi he was going to get into the shotgun formation. Thrilled, Angi backed up to get the ball but she clearly misunderstood what he had meant. When he said the shotgun formation, he meant that he was carrying a shotgun and he pulled it up with a ridiculous swiftness. Before she could utter another word, Tom pulled the trigger and blew a massive hole into Angi's chest. (Dead)

Thur: Angi wanted to find a replacement for Punxsutawney Phil

Angelica had Angi decide to put the newly cloned woolly mammoth in charge of Groundhog Day. After breaking into the research facility where Angi discovered that mammoth was being kept, Angi felt stupid when she didn't realize the animal was being kept outside in the cold. Trudging back outside, Angi found the mammoth and ran over to it, using the science she learned in 7th grade to figure out if the mammoth would see its shadow or not. After a little pushing and prodding on her part, the mammoth finally looked and it did indeed see its shadow. So even though Angi got rid of the groundhog, we were still forced to get six more weeks of winter. Angi was enraged by this finding and decided to take it out on the mammoth. She began to berate the beast, calling it a jobber and stupid. It did not seem phased by her insults though and so Angi got even more personal, talking about how she was going to kill him, skin him and dip him in Abe's rejected jug of mayo gift. Tired of listening to the cavewoman, the mammoth finally let loose a mighty cry, which brought forth its boys. Angi had failed to realize that an entire pack of mammoths had been cloned and they charged at her, running a train on her that ended up crushing her to death under their heavy hooves. (Dead)

Fri: Angi wanted to try one of the two new show based burgers

Olivia had Angi decide to try The Abe Kanan Burger. Angi had downed a few shots of Jack at Jesse's Tavern when she decided to go across the street to Berger Station to try The Abe Kanan Burger. Sure, Angi wasn't the kind of person who will double down on food and so she decided to just drink at Jesse's. Once she walked in, Angi noticed that Abe was already waiting for her. She apparently had forgotten that she texted Abe to let him know that she was coming through. Seemingly a bit too thrilled to serve her, Abe walked her over to a table and helped her sit. He looked at her with puppy dog eyes as Angi took a bite of the massive Abe Kanan Burger. Angi was shocked, it was actually a really delicious burger and almost rivaled her own in flavor and texture. However, within a moment, Angi felt her throat start to swell up. It seemed like she was choking on the burger. Another few seconds and Angi turned purple, eventually succumbing to the poison that Abe had mixed in with the mayo on the burger. As her corpse hit the floor, the menu fell next to her and revealed that she probably should have read it before eating. The listing for Abe's burger stated what it came with including meat, onions, bacon, cheese, extra mayo and the secret ingredient, rat poison. (Dead)

Request Wars 2.0

Champion: Angi (Streak: 1)

Angi's (repping Shawn) Song Choice: "High Enough" by Damn Yankees

Abe's (repping Karen) Song Choice: "Change" by Deftones

Smack Talk Recap:

Abe was seeking the Deftones fans today. Angi thought she had this in the bag.

Winner: Angi

10 O'Clock Toast:

Berger Station and Jesse's Tavern.

We run the Ridge as both Angi & Abe are getting burgers. This is the greatest thing that's ever happened to Angi. Let the war begin!

Show Quotes and Tidbits:

"Do roosters have wings? Can they fly?" - Angi

"I took Trashbag Taylor on a fishing trip last week and got the clap." - Minn Barb

PSA's:

PSAngi: If you think your friend is in trouble, lie.

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