Photo: Flickr RF
This is just a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting, funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast of today's show. However, if you're looking for a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed)
Now, it's entirely rare that I take a topic on this show and run it back three days in a row but we've had a trilogy that happened this week that would rival any good movie set. It began with Angi and the Roof Rustle followed up with Angi and the Restless Sleep and today we cap it off with Angi and the Rihanna Romp. Now, if you have been following the show (and my calls this week,) you would know that Angi has been having issues sleeping due to many things including blowing chairs, a lack of alcohol and today, an assumption that it was Saturday. However, unlike the other two nights where Angi gave up on trying to go back down, she finally decided to fight back against insomnia. After waking up again at 1 A.M.and like I said, assuming it was Saturday, Angi went downstairs to watch some TV. After a few minutes of Below Deck though, it dawned on her that it was actually Friday and that she needed to get back to bed. Trudging up the stairs, disgusted and tired, Angi tried to sleep. This is where the miracle occurred though as she finally did get back to bed and in that moment, her wildest fantasies came to line. Gone was her husband who couldn't get Cialis to work for him and in his place was megastar (and Super Bowl halftime performer this year) Rihanna. That's right, the sultry princess of music broke out her umbrella and put it up in our Serbian princess (at least she did in my fantasy version of this dream.) For reasons that only make sense in the dream world, she was working at a sex club that was situated in the back of an Old Navy story. Also situated in this sex club was a wrestling ring that had a hole in the middle of it that led down into some kind of orgy. As for the pair, they had a wild time that involved friction (but not scissoring.) Obviously, the rest of the dream gets pretty NSFW and so I'll leave you with the thought of a satisfied Angi who got to bang one of her Top 5.
Other Stuff from Today's Show
Finally, what madness is this? A discussion topic on a Friday, Chainsaw Friday nonetheless! So, actress Lake Bell came out recently and said that she tends to be a better parent when she's high. In fact, she can't seem to get through the holidays without it. The thing is, as a mother, all these moms are always on about wine and how great it is. However, when you bring pot into the mix, it tends to turn into a type of grief session about "omg, you're doing drugs, etc." There should be no reason why one is acceptable and the other is not, which is what triggered our topic of discussion. Angi wanted to hear from roadie mothers and whether or not they were wine or weed moms. Abe assumed that the problem with weed moms is that they smell like weed (and we all know his aversion to scents.) That's of course why edibles are the superior choice but we took to the Request Line to see what our listener moms had to say. For the record by the way, Angi is a wine and weed mom. Up first was Melissa who has a 19 year old and a 5 year old. She doesn't drink but she is definitely a weed mom as it calms her anxiety. Maria is also a weed mom who seemed to be just a tad bit high when she called in. Kim is also a weed mom and she feels it makes her a better parent as a single mom to a special needs son. Before we closed this special Friday discussion out, let it be known that Abe knows "a ton of drug dealers." If you are looking for more roadie comments or have your own, hit up our socials (FB group, Twitter, Instagram) and read up or drop us a comment.
Request Wars 2.0
Champion: Angi (Streak: 2)
Angi's (repping Kevin) Song Choice: "Uncle Tom's Cabin" by Warrant
Abe's (repping Edgar) Song Choice: "Angel" by Aerosmith
Smack Talk Recap:
Abe was trying to sway votes with Panterica. Abe dumped all over Warrant for being irrelevant. Abe complained about his feet. Angi has had enough. Abe somehow turned this into a Different Strokesreference. Abe thought he had the number for the singer of Warrant, he didn't. After hearing the song, Panterica changed her choice to Warrant. The smack talk has really gone off the track as of late.
Winner: Angi
Don't Kill Angi Weekly Recap:
Mon: Angi wanted to shop on Cyber Monday
Michelle had Angi decide to buy Abe an Ultimate Warrior wrestling costume. Now, seeing as Angi is on the radio, she really didn't have the budget to buy something ridiculous like this off of Amazon. Instead, Angi opted to spend her hard earned $15 on Wish, where she assumed that this time the item would come as shown. Sure, the other 600 times she had ordered from them resulted in garbage items but she assumed this would be different. However, upon opening the small box when it arrived, Angi realized it was super small. Apparently 3x in China is about as big a child so Angi found herself in quite the pickle. Abe was visibly upset over the debacle and suggested she just give it to someone else. Just as he said that though, Walt walked in and Angi flung the package toward him as a good will gesture. Walt donned the outfit and it fit him like a glove, causing him to strut with a cock of the walk. Amazed by this new outfit, Walt told Angi he loved her which caused her heart to grow three times its size and absolutely gave her life. (Alive)
Tue: Angi wanted to hang out with Metallica
Jeff had Angi decide to hang out with James Hetfield. After showing her frankentits to get backstage, Angi entered James' dressing room. After exchanging a quick laugh with a roadie who explained that she had a VIP and still did that, James greeted Angi and took her over to a table. On it was the book he wrote all the lyrics for his songs in and Angi was about to get the first taste of brand new songs. Suddenly though, the door swung open and Dave Mustaine appeared, acting emo as he always does. He began to cry because he's a little bitch and was upset that James was hanging with Angi and not him. He was really laying it on thick, with tears starting to create puddles as he wept. Knowing full well that this embarrassing endurance match would not end, Angi decided just to leave. As she started to walk though, she accidentally slipped on the puddle of tears and it sent her flying into the air. She came down head first with a sickening crunch, breaking her neck as she hit the floor. (Dead)
Wed: Angi wanted to get back into soccer
Victor had Angi decide to allow Messi to attempt to score a goal on her. Sure, it's been years since Angi took the pitch but she was stretched and ready to go. Heading out onto the field, she was shocked to see that no one showed up for the shootout (Abe and Jay the Gay were busy getting hotdogs at the vendor.) Messi was ready to go by the time she was standing in front of the goal. Within seconds, balls had begun flying at Angi's face. Little did Messi know though that Angi was used to balls in her face and she was making saves left and right. It seemed like nothing was going to happen when suddenly, Ronaldo rolled up onto the pitch. He wanted to double team Angi and since this wasn't her first rodeo, she was game. With two guys kicking balls at her though, Angi found it harder to keep up. It was one kick from Messi though that was truly too fast for her and Angi moved to catch it but instead, it smashed into her head and caused it to explode like one of Gallagher's watermelons. (Dead)
Thur: Angi wanted to hang at the Ponderosa Sun Club
Jason had Angi decide to check out the trampoline jump at the nude club party. Upon entering the club, Angi threw off her clothes like she had done something like this before (and plenty of times.) Walking free as a bird and naked as sin, Angi headed over to the trampoline where several others were already enjoying themselves. Climbing on, Angi started to jump and found herself having an amazing time. As she bounced higher and higher, Angi wanted to check out all the action below her. Unfortunately, most of the things bouncing on the trampoline were not worth drinking in. There was plenty of bouncing going on but none of it was actually good. She had gone in expecting to see David Beckham bodies but in turn, was being subjected to Pawn Star pieces. There was some Chum Lee belly, Cory breasts and Rick Booty. Disgusted, Angi continued to jump higher and higher, reaching a height no one expected. Upon the next jump, she exited off the trampoline when high enough and landed on the roof of the building. Without a second thought, Angi jumped off the roof head forward and broke her neck as she hit the ground. (Dead)
Fri: Angi wanted to keep her car from being towed
Michelle the Mush had Angi decide to bribe the tow truck driver with Metallica tickets. Angi had intended to show the driver her frankentits but she knew that would only make him drive away. Instead, she pulled out an email that offered up tickets to the Metallica show in 2024. Glad to take the bribe, the driver returned to his driver seat and pushed a button to let the car down. Unfortunately, the car was stuck on the lift but Angi was willing to help get it down. She climbed under the car and looked around for a solution only to have the driver yell at her. "Hey, pull the lever on the left!" For reasons that make no sense to anyone but her, Angi pulled the lever while still under the car. It immediately unlatched and fell off, which caused it to land on top of her and crush her to death. (Dead)
10 O'Clock Toast:
Fans who were so close to a win but didn't get it.
This was inspired by a Mexican soccer fan who beat his TV with his fists and then stabbed it with a knife when they lost in the World Cup the other day.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
"It's about the song, not the band or who has better feet." - Angi
"I know a lot of drug dealers." - Abe
"If you have a Skankasarus Rex for a wife like Taylor, I also recommend the bidet with the coochie sprayer jet. I understand Angi's husband switched out the water for bleach."
Best Bet of the Week: Take the Vikings -3 against the Jets