This is just a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting, funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast of today's show. However, if you're looking for a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed)
Now, it's Monday morning and I tend to love jumping on what Angi & Abe did the weekend that just passed but I technically can roll in this topic and bounce it off what Angi did this past weekend (more on that shortly.) Anyway, Angi was probably thinking about what she did this weekend when she went looking for a topic on Reddit about bad parenting. Well, less about bad parenting and more about what screams trashy parents. Now, it's not mothers who would bang sons as Abe assumed for some reason (I'm assuming a Pornhub topic inspired that,) and more about mothers who see their sons' girlfriends as competition. Other examples that are a bit more in line with the thought process include kids who are taken off their leashes and letting them run around so they can trash stores. As someone who worked in retail, I know exactly the pain that comes from having to deal with out of control brats in a store. Those parents who go to their kids games and then cuss out an official for some weird justification in their head that makes sense. You also can't forget those desperate for attention parents who use their kids as fodder for their TikTok's. Before we move to the roadies thoughts, we got an Abe insight (but not an Angi one) and his sort of touches on something that would end up coming up. Abe hates when parents allow their kids to have dirty noses, faces and are just like grimy in general. They wake up unclean and they remain unclean. With that all sorted out, we went to the Request Line to tend to our roadies disgusts. Diana called to initially complain about kids who act up at restaurants and just act completely out of control. Like seriously, deal with your kids, you dummies. With that said though, she really wanted to talk about her awful neighbors. She had moved into a place a few years ago and the kids would go and throw trash into her yard. She ended up talking to them, mentoring them and came to understand that the kids doing this was a learned behavior because their parents were throwing thrash in the yard as well. Dan complained about kids who smell like pee which I don't think I've encountered but totally understand. Rachel said kids who are allowed to wander around in the nude or with a full diaper grind her gears. James called with a truly unique one which is when kids are at the beach and they're allowed to run around and attempt to grab pigeons (like what?) Joey works at Costco and he hates it when people come in with their family and feed them on samples alone. It's even worse when they say they'll buy something and just take like a frozen item and throw it in with the socks. Max is irritated by parents who tether their kids with a leash and honestly, Angi feels the exact same way really. If you are looking for more roadie comments or have your own, hit up our socials (FB group, Twitter, Instagram) and read up or drop us a comment.
Other Stuff from Today's Show
Now, since we've tackled things that parents should be frowned upon for, let's flip the script and look at things we wish we could do. That's right, there are things occurring in the outside world that are as much fun and exciting as they sound, you are totally going to get scolded for doing. I'm assuming she's not discussing things like freebasing crack while you strangle a hooker in the trunk of your car (while pantsless mind you.) Abe, as we all know, is a man of absolute simple pleasures. For example, the one thing he wants the most is to urinate in the open air. He, as we learned a bit ago, loves the sensation of a breeze on his wang. For this reason, he would want to go outside and just pee up against the side of the iHeart building. Angi was a bit confused by this because freeing willy shouldn't be too much of an issue when there are people out there already who are dropping dumps and grilling pigeons outside. Other examples and there were plenty to go over included complimenting a stranger when you see them on the street. You can't say things like "hey sweet tits" or "hey smile" to someone. For the record, if you ever say "hey smile" to Angi, I hope you don't enjoy having a mouth full of teeth. Going to the movies alone is another thing you can do but people look at you strangely, I would too. You technically can't walk down the streets singly loudly but guess what, that's something Abe does. I mean not only on the streets but Abe will sing in the halls because he has a love of musical theater (or being fun.) Like, you listen to something without headphones on like the good old days of a boombox and you just belt out your absolute joy. Farting and burping, wandering around doing that is clearly going to be frowned upon. Walking barefoot, which shouldn't be an issue but at the same time, who in their right mind walks around outside barefoot. Yoga stretching in the park, which to me just sounds nuts. Adjusting your underwear because us men are never comfortable. As for Angi, if she could do something that would be frowned upon, it would be punching someone in the face. Like most people deserve a nice fist to the face, like a Karen who deserves it. Also, biting your nails made the list but honestly that's gross, don't do that.
So, it seems fitting that since Abe talked about peeing outside that the next topic in my note cannon would be peeing. Only this time, instead of standing and peeing, we're going to look at why you should be sitting down and peeing. Angi was curious because of course she was (plus content) about if Abe ever sits down to pee. It's rare for him but there is no never say never here. Well, perhaps it's time to up those stats because science has come forth to say that to get a better "exit," sitting is the optimal position. It seems though that there is an entire list of things that can be amazing and remedy problems in general. For example, prostate problems are the number one reason that you should be sitting down as it is better for those people. Science also points out that it is cleaner to sit down and pee. Having your wang closer to the water also means you're not getting pee everywhere. Men are just messy and get urine everywhere so it makes sense. There is also less noise when you're sitting to pee and you don't have to fight about keeping the toilet seat up or down. It's also to pee faster when sitting down as opposed to standing up. Of course, I should mention that a repercussion of this would be that if you have a massive Abeaconda, it may fall right in the toilet. Since he has much going on, he loves the idea of his friend who has a literal urinal in his basement...God. Anyway, we should just all do this to make women and science happy already, because who knows what next thing they'll find to complain about. Even Abe, the straightest man in the world, said it doesn't feel emasculating but it isn't something he would feel comfortable doing in public.
Finally, we're officially in cuffing season which means we're currently cutting pieces that don't fit the winter narrative. With this in mind, Eharmony made a list of the Top 10 popular break up songs (these lists from these sites continue to astound me.)
10. "Don't Speak" - No Doubt
9. "Walk on By" - Dionne Warick
8. "Knowing Me, Knowing You" - ABBA
7. "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" - Taylor Swift
6. "Nothing Compares 2 U" - Sinead O'Connor
5. "I Will Survive" - Gloria Gaynor
4. "Someone Like You" - Adele (Angi had to point out who could sit through two hours of music like this.)
3. "Go Your Own Way" - Fleetwood Mac
2. "I Will Always Love You" - Whitney Houston (We learned Abe doesn't remember The Bodyguard.)
1. "Back to Black" - Amy Winehouse (Angi loves this song because it's nasty.)
Request Wars 2.0
Champion: Angi (Streak: 1)
Angi's (repping Jules) Song Choice: "Everybody Wants Some" by Van Halen
Abe's (repping Burp) Song Choice: "Hellraiser" by Motörhead
Smack Talk Recap:
So Abe's boy Burp drinks alot at work and that's apparently why he has this dumb name. Jules listens to the show every morning on her way to work. Burp apparently met Lemmy a bunch and Angi & Abe discussed that they wanted to meet Axl and Tommy Lee out in public.
10 O'Clock Toast:
It's his birthday today and we honestly can't believe that he's still alive. For Angi though, she's always had a thing for drummers so she may join his OnlyFans one day.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
"Angi and I give you money, no one else has ever done this." - Abe
Best Bet of the Week (Week 4 Results): Abe Wins!
PSAbe: The thing your parents tell you that thing you do will never make a dollar, tell them how much Rocky the Mascot makes.