This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
As we all know, each and every week Minn Barb shows up and gives us a big ol' heaping sloppy serving of her "Hot Dish." Here's the thing though, left out of today's tasty treat was a morsel that Angi herself leaked to the audience early this morning. It seems like she might have a secret celebrity crush who she is so thirsty for, there isn't enough Jack Daniels in the world to quench it. Curious, let me explain what happened in case you missed it. So yesterday, Angi and night girl Palmer went on a little photoshoot for an upcoming station promotion. To maximize the eyes and really get her social media presence felt, Angi posted a couple of the pics to her Instagram. Typical stuff, nothing special is what she assumed. However, lying on the couch last night next to Jay the Straight who was watching football and ignoring her, she started looking at who had viewed her Instagram story. Low and behold, a well known and much beloved local celebrity had slid in and viewed her story. Now normally this would mean nothing but there are a few things at play here. This particular celebrity does not follow her on any of the show's social media as well as her own. This particular celebrity did not creep on Abe's story nor do they follow Abe. Most interesting, this particular celebrity is married (but then again so is Angi and I think she's headed out for an annulment after the show. Still, there is a curiosity as to why this celebrity was seeking her out. Now, I can't name names but I will say, this would be the sexiest couple I could possibly imagine and I'm putting it out in the universe that it needs to happen now. Sorry Jay the Straight, I like you a ton but Angi needs to get this big stick imo. I'm sure we'll hear more about this again at some point if this celebrity creeps but for the moment Angi's panties would be in the trash (if she wore them) because they were more than likely soaked last night.
All the Rest:
So it's Friday which means that we've hit the proverbial wall when it comes to content. Let's be realistic, everyone has already checked out by the time the show starts on a Friday and it's even more so when it's a shortened holiday week. So, we tend to tackle interesting tidbits as opposed to hard hitting things on days like today (we also give out chainsaws, gambling picks, tickets and have to give airtime to that old coot Barb.) Anyway, with all that going on, there is still some time for fun dips into interesting facts. Today's involved bands or in this instance, the "Best Band From Every State." It began with Angi asking Abe what Illinois' was. "Kanye" he replied, clearly failing to grasp the assignment out the gate. Kanye is not a band Abe so let's try this again shall we? Disturbed? ... nope. Smashing Pumpkins? ... nada. Chevelle? ... they wish! Local H? ... maybe to drunk 40 year old women. Cheap Trick ... calm down boomer, no. It turns out that the best band from Illinois is Earth, Wind & Fire ... who actually considers them from Illinois or has even thought about them outside of the month of September basically. Wisconsin's most famous band is Garbage, no Garbage the band, not an indication of how the band sounds. Michigan is The Temptations apparently. Who the hell made this list btw? Was this dreamed up by those Time Life 50 CD collection things because god, these choices. Anyway, Minnesota is Prince and the Revolution because I can't think of another band from Minnesota. Nevada is The Killers, which finally seems on track. Shockingly, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers is Florida's and the biggest take away here is who knew Tom Petty was from Florida. Alaska's is Portugal the Man which seems to prove that Alaska shouldn't be allowed to make music. Delaware's claim to musical fame is George Thurogood. Idaho is Built to Spill, which Angi didn't even know of prior to reading it off her screen. The Jackson 5 is Indiana's obviously because that monument house and casino's is all the state has going for it. Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band is New Jersey's ode to 'Murica. Lastly, for whatever reason, Tennessee does not have a band on this list which is weird because I always assumed noted racist scumbag Kid Rock was their native son. Then again, if that was the case, I would want to be omitted from the list as well.
Finally, in a desperate attempt to stay relevant now that her show is ending, is on a mission to create a sex toy line that will "make everyone happy in the bedroom." That's right, from the family that brought you a sex tape, a ton of offspring, the letter K, a bland reality television show and more fame whoring then you know what to do with comes some overpriced bedroom junk. She has created the Monkey Bars Sex Belt which is exactly as stupid as it sounds when you say it out loud. It's essentially an overpriced ($100) cheaply made in some sweatshop leather belt with some bars attached to it. The idea is to hold on to the bars and you just bang, bang, bang the night away. Angi was considering buying one but she feels like she would look like a wheelbarrow if she was to wear it so she's not super keen on owning it. That said, hearing all this gave Abe an idea and what I'm assuming is the next venture for the Kanan Kollection. The Kanan Kollection if you're not familiar is Abe's line of affordable yet super stylish women's clothing. Perhaps it's time to venture into the sex toy business because according to him, he could make the same belt for $10. All he needs is a little Gorilla Glue and he's good to go. Hell, he could even do it with a sheet by just tying up two ends of it. Either way, look for the Kanan Kollection Money Bars Sex Belt sometime in the near future.
Request Wars 2.0:
Champion: Abe (Streak: 4)
Angi's (repping Crystal) Song Choice: "Jet City Woman"
Abe's (repping Sammy) Song Choice: "I'm Not Okay"
Observation: If Angi loses today, things are not going to be pretty. Abe went on the offensive about haircuts and Angi wondered if her daughter would side with Abe. Crystal went after Abe and his loser twink player hard and this *should* be an easy win for Angi.
Don't Kill Angi Weekly Recap:
Angi Wants to Go to the Bears Game in L.A.
Mon: Since it was a holiday, Angi was at home recovering from her Saturday night hangover by drinking Jack on her couch. (Angi Taylor Marked Herself Safe From Being Murdered By Roadies)
Tue: Scott had Angi ride with Jim McMahon to L.A. About a mile into the drive, she started singing his verse of the Super Bowl Shuffle. He was so disgusted, he jumped out of the car and let it fly off into a ravine. (Dead)
Wed: Justin had Angi line up 30 yards away to let Andy Dalton knock a bottle of Jack Daniels off her head. He throws a perfect spiral and breaks Angi's nose with the football and gives her a concussion. Andy Dalton gives Angi breast rub compressions but she ends up dying from her head injury. (Dead)
Thur: Jake had Angi go to the nearest taco truck in L.A. She heads to the Sunset Strip to see the Motley Crue star. A scarecrow gives Angi three fingers of whiskey and she got strength like Popeye when he eats spinach. (Alive)
Fri: Tyler had Angi go to the legendary Rainbow Bar and Grill. She ordered 4 fingers of Jack and noticed that Ron Jeremy walked in. Angi got into an argument with him because she believed he gave her covid. Angi pulls out a knife and cuts off Ron Jeremy's junk. (Alive)
10 o'Clock Toast:
Everybody on the Spectrum. Whether you're super straight like Abe, super gay like me or love both like Angi, today we celebrate liking what you like.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
Quote: "I just wanna say, my influence moves lines." - Abe
Quote: "There's the sound Angi Taylor makes when I push her off the top of the Hancock." - Minn Barb
Best Bet of the Week: Take Cleveland Browns +5 1/2 against Kansas City Chiefs
New Head Roadie Alert! Congrats Jeff - Head Roadie of UPS
New Head Roadie Alert! Frankie G - Head Roadie of Billboards