So Armie Hammer has been embroiled in this weird sex controversy. Multiple women have come forward and accused him of some version of sexual misconduct, with cannibalism even being thrown into the conversation. Now, before we get into this: when multiple women come forward, I'm inclined to believe them. Usually people don't just do this for fun (it's not fun), so maybe other things will come out. However, there's a trailer for what's supposedly a bombshell documentary on the entire Hammer family, and there seem to be a lot of tears and upset over... normal BDSM talk. Go watch the trailer real quick:
So a couple things to acknowledge: there are power dynamics at play. Not only is Armie a large man, he's also a famous actor. He is a person in power and needs to wield that responsibly. Coercive control is also a very real thing, and if that's what we're getting at here, yeah he's an abuser.
But I'm just not seeing any of that. These supposedly sinister text message are standard in the BDSM community. Calling oneself a cannibal is fuckin weird, but unless he legitimately ate a person or is saying it as a threat... whatever?
Tying someone up: standard in a BDSM world.
Free use: also pretty commonplace in the BDSM world.
(let's not read too much into this, before anyone slides into my dm's. I have a diverse group of friends and we're very open with each other. I'm not part of the BDSM community)
I don't know man, all of this just seems like a dom looking for a sub and being clumsy about it. This is why boundaries and communication are SO important. Someone's terrified, "omg he wants to tie me up!" is someone else's delighted, "omg he wants to tie me up!"