An Evansville, IN man hit the median of the Lloyd Expressway which busted his tire, but didn't stop him. Instead, he drove straight to a car dealership to try and sell the now-smoking vehicle. When cops showed up, it was found he had 3.5 times the legal blood alcohol limit. They found 4 Four Loko cans and a White Claw in his car, so obviously we're gonna judge him for his drink choices. And his general choices.
But credit where credit is due: he went to solve his car problem right away. I would have procrastinated that for weeks. He was like, "ope! Caught the median! Better head to the dealer straight away!"
OH WAIT I BURED THE LEDE ACCIDENTALLY, IT WAS FORMER MLB STAR DON MATTINGLY'S SON what a plot twist