Maria Palmer

Maria Palmer

Dragged kicking and screaming from the dive bar whence she came, Maria Palmer continues to kick and scream on the radio waves. Keeping the rock ‘n...Full Bio

 

Craigslist Missed Connections: Security Guard Edition

Security guard at post (batavia)
You are a security guard, at the gate, you said it was good to see me again, I said stay warm, saw u twice at that entrance so far, tell me where. I'd really like for your mouth to warm me up, you are a guy, me too, just wondering

I legitimately laughed out loud the first time I read this. The escaLATION!! (see what I did there? I escalated the word the escalation in your head by making the second half of it in all caps. Boo yah. Nailed it. I control your brain. Quick! Read this in Sean Connery's voice: Maria is the best jock on Rock 95.5) Sorry I got lost for a minute there.

The way this dude details the most innocent interaction: a guy recognizes a man who he's seen pass through the gate before, greets him, gets a greeting back, then BOOM immediate blow job reference.

And then, the icing on the cake: "just wondering." HEAVY INNUENDO casual back out. Yeah man, you were "just wondering" about him using his mouth to warm you up? Just a thought. Just a normal, mundane ponderance. Just wondering about that bj. Just wondering.


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