Photo: PATCHARIN SIMALHEK / iStock / Getty Images
Well, that was an eventful little unplanned vacation. Did anything happen while we were away? Oh right, that happened. I guess we should address the elephant in the room or in this case, the bull in the China shop. If you listened to the show this morning, you will know that Abe has left the show. Now, I don't feel like going into too many details because you can hear Angi's thoughts on the podcast and or read up about it on our Facebook group. That said, Abe is gone and honestly, he will be missed. His chemistry with Angi was unmatched and I personally wish him the best and look forward to what he will do next. As someone who has worked alongside him for the past 14+ plus years, this was a shock but I understand his decision. That said, the world doesn't stop when one of the participants gets off and so we continue on. Joining Angi this morning and for the foreseeable future is weekend music man Marris. If you know nothing of him, here's your opening crash course. He loves Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, so much so that he has a sleeve of Ninja Turtle tattoos. His favorite by the way is Michelangelo though he was wearing a Leonardo shirt today (traitor!) He's also a total comic nerd who loves to go to cons so expect that to be mined for tons of hilarity while we tackle this breand new adventure. Speaking of new adventures, the reason the show started today and not yesterday was because Angi was busy moving. That's right, she finally strapped all the boxes to her back and left the house. Jay the Straight obviously supervised the whole time and spent the duration of the move on boxing Twitter (or is it X now?) hyping up a fight he watched at 3:30 this morning. Since Angi was afraid of having her old house fall on her (we've all seen The Wizard of Oz, we know what happens to witches,) she is having a place constructed but that won't be ready until October. While she waits for the new house to arise and because the cardboard box development under Lower Wacker is completely cutthroat, Angi and Jay the Straight have moved into an apartment for the next three months. Ironically, it turns out that this place is a young Angi Taylor's dream as it is essentially a frat house full of 20 somethings playing beer pong, banging loud music and the halls smell like sex and lube. However, since she has a job to do (apparently getting up at 3:30 in the morning to come and plan a 5 hour radio show is work,) she can not partake in the frat games of butt chugging, the elephant walk and soggy biscuit (note to self, get the address of her new apartment ASAP.) Though the apartment is fully furnished and has a parking lot that costs $40 a day, Angi is toughing it out. Thankfully, there was a TV and on it was the greatest channel ever created, Love Quest. Now, no one outside of her apartment building has apparently heard of this channel but with a random selection of Rock of Love, Flavor of Love, I Love New York, Daisy of Love, I Love Money, Real Chance of Love and every other VH1 dating show that ever existed, I'm surprised Angi could even bring herself to come to work today. I mean, she did show up with a half shirt on and a belly ring but that was because she was canvasing Lower Wacker to make some quick cash to pay the insane parking fees of her new place.
Other Stuff from Today's Show
It's a new day in the work room in more ways than one and that means there is ALOT to cover. However, because my new contract negotiations did not include my demand for a gloryhole in the iHeart bathroom and all the meatballs I could eat, I'm going to stick to my three points after my call in point nonsense. This will be the only time (outside of all the other times I do) that I emphasize you listen to the podcast if you miss anything from the show because there is plenty of show that I won't cover here that you'll be mad you didn't get to hear. Right, let's get to it then by talking about the death trap that is the iHeart building. It seems that it actually is also a cavern of secrets (and missed opportunity drug deals, but more on that in a moment.) We started with Angi recalling the time her and a guy from WGCI almost died when they got in the elevator and it stopped, dropped and fell 20 floors before finally hitting the emergency break at the 7th floor. Though Marris was the one treated to an ominous warning, it was Angi who uncovered the Chamber of iHeart Secrets this morning when the elevator let slip that above the 30th floor of the building is a penthouse. Now, Angi just naturally assumed that the 30th floor, from which the show broadcasts, was the peak. It turns out there is a penthouse floor above it as confirmed by Marris this morning. What this floor contains, we do not know but it is important enough to be kept under wraps that it took Angi 17 years to know it was there. Could it contain dead hookers, call girls, bags of money meant for on air personalities? The world may never know but it does explain why Angi hears footsteps on the ceiling above her sometimes even though she assumed it was just people indulging in the wildfire smoke on the roof. As for Marris, he's gotten the "clearly" typical "elevator going down, do not be alarmed" notification before but today, he was greeted by the elevator. It told him "good morning" and nothing else. While the pair pondered how the elevator knows the time of day, Marris' suggestion of taking the stairs from now on seems to be the right choice. Then again, Angi is old and that's 30 flights of stairs, maybe she should chance the elevator after all. The other iHeart story was a Marris tale from the weekend when he went to the bathroom and had a weird encounter. As you should know if you listen all the time, the iHeart bathroom always seems to be popping off. While he went in to do his business, whoever was in the stall dropped a little black box that slid across the floor toward him. Was it drugs, airpods, the ashes of a dead relative? Unfortunately we will never know because Marris waited 30 seconds to see what would happen but nothing came of it. He considered kicking the box back but that could have turned into a weird sex game (I've heard stories about these bathrooms from HR) and so he just left. His assumption was that the person could then fetch the dropped item because no one in their right mind is touching the bathroom floor (at iHeart or anywhere else) and what if he did kick it back and he ended up breaking it. I guess the point of all this (besides telling yet another iHeart bathroom tale,) is to teach you a lesson, don't pick/kick things on the bathroom floor unless you want to deal with some kind of consequence.
Speaking of the weekend, Angi did find time between packing all Jay the Straight's boxing memorabilia to make a stop at the Beyoncé concert on Saturday night. Marris was also at this show as was apparently every other person I know who lives in Chicago (seriously, I saw at least 30 posts about it.) The thing was, Angi also went to Drake earlier this month and two concerts in a month is almost unheard of for her. Funny enough, Marris also went to see Drake but he had a different reaction than Angi did. At his show, Drake was lively and fun whereas at Angi's show, he was coming down from the night before bender it seemed. He was sitting on a couch high doing nothing, begging for Usher to get on stage and he played all his slow tempo jams. When he did do his fun party music, it was just 20 second snippets. This concert clearly sucked and made for a perfect daily discussion topic catalyst. Angi wanted to hear about the worst concert the roadies had ever been to and to kick us off, she gave us another beside the awful Drake show. Apparently, she was sent to cover Lilith Fair, which was that roaming band of lesbians who invited musicians to take the stage and play for a crowd of mostly (see all) women. It seems that Sheryl Crow's appearance there was not it and Angi found it to be less tolerable than her Drake experience, which truly says something. As for Marris, his worst show was seeing Ace Frehley down in Peoria of all places. The show had an awkward energy to it and it probably didn't help that only like 150 people showed up to the show. Since these notes are so long as is and I've been tackling Angi Taylor Facebook group questions all morning, I'm forgoing mine and jumping right into the roadies calls to the Request Line. Leslie said Prince at the United Center which was basically Leslie calling and asking Angi for a fight. Apparently, it was the second show of a three night stint and he was super late and spent most of the show talking about someone named Shelby and having Shelby sing all his songs. Head Roadie Tyler said when he went to see Cheap Trick, they did nothing but new songs for the first hour (who would want that, ugh.) Dan saw Toby Keith once and he was so drunk that he forgot the words to his songs and the back up singers had to do most of the lifting. Carrie saw Blink 182 who had her favorite brand Green Day opening for them and she just couldn't distinguish the difference in Blink songs. There was that not being able to hear Tom sing plus swearing at a kid. Colleen saw Glen Phillips (I know, who?) who is apparently the lead singer of Toad the Wet Sprocket. She was dragged by her bestie who loves him and she was so bored, she ended up getting absolutely wasted to compensate for it. Holly saw Jeff Dunham (the puppet guy) at a county fair and he brought out all his puppets outside of Bubba J. When he was forced to bring it out due to people yelling, he ended up doing old material with it. Raphael picked Guns N' Roses after he saw them in Cali and they showed up three hours later. It also probably didn't help that he got into a fight with the guy next to him. If you are looking for more roadie comments or have your own, hit up our Facebook group (The Angi Taylor Show) and read up or drop us a comment.
Finally, while we were away, Angi got a text from a 201 area code. Seeing as the only people who call and text her are her friends, the bosses, myself, Marris and sometimes Jay the Straight to tell her he's out of town golfing again, this was an interesting moment. The exchange in full can be heard on the podcast (again today's notes are so long that I'm condensing as necessary) but basically went. Hi, oh I thought this was my friend's number, I live in L.A., here's a sexy picture of a Kylie Jenner clone. In other words, this was a classic phishing scam and Angi probably wouldn't have brought it up had the girl whose picture was being used was not so incredibly attractive. Funny enough, Marris also gets these texts all the time though unlike Angi who got bored when she realized it was a hot chick who wanted all her money, he actually engages the spammer. For the most part it's him goofing on them but one time a "girl" sent a sexy photo then went into panic mode after their dog started coughing. Marris went full on (God, what is the name of that kid show with the cartoon doctor?) doctor mode and Googled the symptoms while a friend yelled at the phone to take the dog to the vet. The scammer ended up saying thank you so I guess a change of heart can come when your dog almost dies while you're trying to steal credit card information. Another incident in the phone scam lane apparently happened when Angi was (shocker) walking to the liquor store the other day. She got a text saying did you make this Venmo purchase. Press 1 for "yes," 2 for "no," 3 for "here's all my Venmo account info." As for Marris, he got a call saying someone bought a Macbook on his Amazon account. He asked for the account number while cross referencing purchases to see this was a scam and then the spammer had the audacity to say it was probably on his second Amazon account. Look, if you're going to spam someone, at least try to be believable and if you're going to use the picture of a hot girl, find one that can't be reverse Google image searched you amatuers.
Request Wars 3.0
Angi's Song Choice: "Same Ol' Situation (S.O.S.)" by Mötley Crüe
Marris' Song Choice: "Papercut" by Linkin Park
Winner: Marris
10 O' Clock Toast:
Toastee: Roadies
Today was a hard day but also the beginning of something new and exciting. We appreciate all of you for listening each and every day and we promise to put on the same show we always have even though things are a bit different now.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
"I don't want to move back to Lower Wacker and give handies all day, I'm above that." - Angi