This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
So today is a crazy day for multiple reasons. Angi is running around the studio making sure she is prepped for her trip to Vegas, Abe is working on no sleep at all, I'm contemplating the eternal dread that is an existence that will collapse on itself at some point, etc. That said, the call in today was postponed because there was simply no time. Also, because of everything going on, notes are going to be a bit more bite sized for today only. Rest assured, my ridiculous call in and the long drawn out narrative stories that these notes tend to become will return to their normal size and shape come Monday.
All the Rest:
Angi offered up an interesting thought this morning about marriage and no, it doesn't involve Jay the Straight wanting to throw her to the curb for something she said or did again. Tiffany Hadish, an overrated comedian who is pretty much everywhere and fiance to rapper Common made a point about their engagement the other day. It seems that she is not keen on the idea of accepting a ring as a marriage symbol and wants something more ... profitable. She basically said "forget rings, get me a building." That's right, instead of a ring as a symbol of their love, she wants a rental property/apartment building. She figures that this would be a good investment overall and come their olden days or if they break up, the building can be sold off to deal with any nonsense. Curious, Angi and her fat swollen ring encased fingers asked Abe what he would like to have? For him, it would be a car and this makes sense for two reasons. One, he's never getting married anyway but also because I just can't imagine Abe as a jewelry guy, in all the years I've known him, the image doesn't fit.
It's Friday which means it's fitting to do a Drunk Ninja story because you know, that's what you'll probably be. So in a story that is surprisingly not coming from Florida but that other dump next door Indiana. Our drunk ninja is also not a singular offender today but two idiots who did something incredibly stupid. You see, a 56 year old man was drunk and driving (real winner there) and crossed the center line where he crashed into a tractor trailer. This incident completely totaled his car. Knowing he was kinda screwed, he called his wife who ironically also happened to be drunk off her ass. She came to pick him up and proceeded to crash into his car and totaled the secondary car as well. The police obviously showed and the two morons failed their field sobriety test with ease. He ended up a bit banged up and she was fine outside of you know, both of them being jail bound. Angi's word of advice that can work as a PSAngi as well: if you're wasted, don't call another drunk person to pick you up. I guess I should add that you shouldn't be a drunk ninja in the first place but that should go without saying.
Finally, the Toy Hall of Fame (which is a thing because of course it is) recently announced their 12 finalists for this year's induction. Though Angi didn't give the exact number of toys that are ultimately chosen, I think if I remember off the top of my head that it's 5. Anyway, they announced their finalists and Angi and Abe had some thoughts on a few of them.
- American Girl Doll: Abe was a bit shocked here, assuming this was way too early for an entry into the Hall of Fame. Angi had her own experience in that her daughter really wanted one and she was never a doll kinda girl. Of course, the reason she actually wanted it was because all her friends had one. The thing about them though is these dolls are supposed to look like you and therefore they are expensive AF.
- We sidenoted into what the dolls of Angi and Abe would look like if they had one. Angi's would of course come with an oversized bottle of Jack Daniels, it would have smaller but still lopsided boobs and of course, a gimp t-rex arm. As for Abe's, he would have a fresh line up, a huge hog and come with a jar of mayo. As I like to throw in my two cents, mine would have an enormous bottle of Captain Morgan White, a box of tissues for all the crying that I do over my dead best friend and of course, the body would look like ground zero hours after the planes hit.
- Battleship: Angi and Abe both agreed that they needed a copy for the studio.
- Billiards: This was a shocker as it's been around since Jesus and it's still not in yet.
- Cabbage Patch Kids: A toy that was too fancy and expensive for Angi though Abe had one named Michael and his brother Sam had one named Herbie.
- Fisher Price Corn Popper: They didn't know what this was but it's the vacuum type thing with the balls under the dome.
- Mahjong: aka Asian dominos.
- Piñata: What? Why isn't this in.
Request Wars 2.0:
Champion: Angi (Streak: 1)
Angi's (repping Ray) Song Choice: "Bulls on Parade"
Abe's (repping Sarah) Song Choice: "All the Small Things"
Observation: Abe broke out the stolen valor yet again because as usual, the rampant lies keep coming. Angi, on the other hand, is grouped with a ray of sunshine. Angi didn't get a word in over Abe so this should be interesting.
Winner: Abe
Don't Kill Angi Weekly Recap:
Angi Is on a Chicago Food Porn Tour
Mon: Tammy had Angi order a cheddar char dog. Angi decided to order a chocolate shake to go with it. The woman not only flashed Angi, she motorboated Angi and ended up suffocating her. (Dead)
Tue: Alfredo had Angi go to Johnny's Beef for her next food fix. Gets a baptized beef sandwich with mozzarella and peppers. Angi starts coughing when Steve Bartman comes over and gives her the Heimlich. The beef comes up and Bartman drops Angi and catches her coughed up beef. He's a hero finally and Angi's alive! (Alive)
Wed: Elena had Angi stomp grapes at Binny's to make her own white wine. She slips on a stubborn grape and falls out of the barrel. As she hit the floor, she turned into a viral video voice over and broke her neck. (Dead)
Thur: Melissa had Angi go to Bari Subs and Italian Foods. She got a sub and requested an Abe Kanan mayo bomb. She takes a bite and it's so delicious. She's usually known for her gag reflex but unfortunately, there was just too much damn sauce and Angi choked to death. (Dead)
Fri: Josie had Angi get a red velvet cupcake from Sprinkles. The Karen behind her wants the cupcake and attacks Angi. Angi knocks her to the ground with a roundhouse kick and kills her. (Alive)
10 o'Clock Toast:
Virgos. Overplanning people who pick everything apart and treat you like garbage.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
Quote: "When you (Abe) win anything, you sit and peacock down michigan avenue." - Abe
Best Bet of the Week: Carolina Pathers +3 1/2 against New Orleans Saints