This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
On this show, talking about cheating is about as common as us wondering how many pictures of Stamos Abe has plastered all over his bedroom. For this morning's foray into the curiosity of cheating, we took a different approach than normal though. Angi wanted to hear from the roadies who were either parents or had a parent that helped them cheat. This topic was pulled from a woman who made a bunch of roadblocks in her neighborhood to steer people toward her kids' lemonade stand. Like she literally went out and put down barricades and the like to make sure that cars were coming down her street to get her kids free lemonade. I mean, let's be realistic, I have to agree with her that kids are cute and if you see a lemonade stand, regardless of the condition, you stop. Anyway, Abe chimed in with the story we've all heard 600 times at this point. That would be the one involving the pinewood derby car that his Uncle Rick made for him while he laid on his stomach and ate Doritos. Mind you, he got a trophy for this and holds it in as high regards as an Oscar, even though he tech did nothing to earn the thing. Also revealed was that Abe's grandma would do Abe's homework for him. In the shocking revelation department, Abe had his poor mom Head Roadie Nadine, make him a fake college schedule so he could get out of working weekends at Walmart. As for the actual parent of the pair, Angi did amazing things in her attempt to be a great mom. For example, she has done a ton of projects for her kid. Like, her daughter would come home and tell her a project was due for the science fair ... the night before. So Angi would run to Hobby Lobby/Michaels, avoid John the Stalker if possible and make sure she got all the stuff needed to create the amazing science fair project. Of course, she would then have to stay up all night and make sure she did the work as well because that's what good moms do. This was the same for roadie Jake, who had his parents do all of his science fair stuff as well. Abe didn't need to do this because he had something better, he would simply take his brother's old projects and pass them off as his own. Angi complained that she didn't get the opportunity for things like this because her parents would pretend they didn't understand English and in turn, would not do stuff for her. Roadie Zack's mom was a teacher who would turn a blind eye, which meant he was able to buy the teacher's edition of the class workbooks and get all the answers without hassle. These days, we have Google and so therefore there is no need for stuff like that. Brian then called in to discuss video game cheating. I literally mistook Brian's rambling for a rampant cocaine problem but it turns out that he has autism but is also very interesting. So much so, Angi and Abe had to dub Brian our Head Roadie of Video Game Players. As for me, I can't say I had help from "cheating" by the parents but I did always play the fake parent who would call all my friends off school all the time. In fact, my friend Chad literally never went to school on like Mondays and I would call him in every time as his "dad."
All the Rest:
Only on this show can you have one host get attacked in the morning and the other go on an attack. Confused, let me explain what crazy ridiculousness went down this morning. So, Angi's day started in the worst possible way, actually it was bad for both her and Abe. They had a hard time getting up this morning which honestly I can't blame them. We're at the midway point of the week and if I were them, I'd want to sleep as well (I'm already dreaming about a nap.) Either way, Angi soldiered on and was ready to come in to produce a show for all of us. However, on her way out the door in the pitch black of the morning, she walked into a massive spider web. Imagine if you will, Accident Prone Angi flailing in her yard as her entire face and upper body is engulfed in a spiderweb. Consider the internal screaming that occured when she started considering if there were now dead bugs and spiders in her hair. Cleaning herself off in the car while contemplating crashing her car, Angi wondered exactly how this came about. It must have been overnight because she didn't see it yesterday afternoon. Abe explained how spiders work quickly, like that movie/book Charlotte's Web, remember that mess. Either way, Angi was upset but it was nowhere near the stroke Abe was having off the bat. Starting the morning as we have for weeks on end now, reacclimation came up once again. I mean, he really went into it as he rambled on about reacclimation and how people are using it as their go to excuse. Pretending they somehow forgot how to work and how hard it is to go back. Not knowing how to do anything. Literally unsure of where things are, how to drive, where to park, remembering where they even work. No longer being able to lay on their stomach at home and instead being forced into the office. Having to brave going outside into the crazy cruel world. Not being able to write in a day off because your arm hurts. Not being able to broadcast from another city for months on end. The list goes on and on and on. Anyway, after we got past reacclimation talk, Abe was back on about the vending machine from yesterday. Yeah, if you weren't listening yesterday, Abe was having another stroke when his $3 was stolen by the soda machine. We're not retreading that mess but it turns out the stuck soda was a Canada Dry. This is obviously something people only drink when they have an upset stomach. He's literally confused though because since everyone is getting reacclimated, there's literally no one in the building. Given that they are essentially running things, Abe declared that he and Angi should be the queens of the iHeart building (yeah, I typed what I typed.) They should be able to make the rules and dictate what occurs within the walls since they've basically been running the building since last year. The first order of business, get a vending machine that actually works. We didn't get more proclamations but I have a feeling this is far from over.
After a rousing round of Request Wars where I had to dump all over some pig who didn't show, something amazing happened this morning. Apparently, signals got crossed and we were transported back to last year. Well, I mean in the sense that people accidentally dialed the wrong number seeking the other country station in the city and attempting to win Brad Paisley tickets. Unlike our show that has fun and games, this was a simple be caller 19 type scenario to get these tickets. Here's the thing, this is a rock station and while we may not have Brad Paisley tickets, memes or mead, we do have the meat. After going through the first call, which was your typical string along until we pulled the rug out to reveal that the guy had the wrong number, we got to guessing about riding cowboys and saving horses or something. I, of course, had to chime in and ask for my Brad Paisley tickets, which apparently I didn't win as well even though I dragged some idiot in Request Wars no show. One would think that after all of this, we would be done with the whole thing but low and behold, we had yet another caller seeking tickets. Jeff, who seemed like a really nice guy, called looking to win him some Brad Paisley tickets. He gave us a little bit of country info and then dropped a bombshell about how Garth Brooks once coached his nieces soccer team. This was followed up with a discussion about Reba McEntire. No, not Abe's favorite wrestler but the woman who played a large role in country becoming huge, had her own TV show and of course did KFC commercials or whatever. Anyway, Jeff got a mouth full of meat for his troubles because we here at 95.5 not only love our listeners and accidental call-ins but we will also bribe you to keep hanging around any chance we get.
Finally, after hearing "Jumper" from Third Eye Blind, Angi took a moment to relive her heroic actions of the other day where she stopped a teen from committing suicide on the Riverwalk. Now that I've told the delusional narrative version of the story that Angi likes to tell herself in her head, let's quickly get back to the real version. She thought a kid was going to kill himself when in actuality he was working and her yelling "World Star" at him while he did his job was a bit much. Anyway, the reason we revisited this mess was because of the people that Angi was out with. It's been a while since she called out a friend and made them look silly on air so what better time than today. In the pack of people on the Riverwalk at the now famous "suicide dinner" was a particular friend who has a dorky hobby. His crime, he's a bird watcher and part of the Autobahn Society. Abe was confused as to what bird watching entails and he just assumed that meant you threw food at them (blink blink.) Angi corrected Abe and gave him a better understanding of what bird watching is and why doing it makes you a giant dork. So Angi wanted to know, do the roadies have any friends who are huge dorks and if so, what is it that they do that makes them dorks? For example, Abe knows someone who is a credentialed lieutenant in the Pokemon Go army (christ, what a loser.) He's always doing those special Pokemon Go events and keeps 4 phones in his car for catching them. Since she had already dragged her friend, Angi gave her own example. She loves going to flea markets andDownton Abbey. Abe, he loves to watch wrestling and has a wrestling text thread. Personally, I have a ton of drunken Rock Band videos on Youtube, because I have too much fun when I drink. Jay the Straight, he loves to go to autograph conventions. So turning to the phones, we had some interesting additions to the list. Alexis has a friend who is a furry. This weirdo goes to conventions, does the furry sex stuff with her costume on and everything else. She is a cat btw in her furry life, in case you were wondering what level of weirdo she is. Rob has a friend who is a huge Trekkie (which made me think of a friend I have who loves Power Rangers and has even gone to see stuff of theirs in Japan.) Kameka has a friend who has a huge stamp collection though that may prove valuable if they ever finally die out as a used item. TJ has a friend that is really into trains, so much so he can name literally every type of train and when it was put into use, etc. Lastly there was Brian, who has a friend that collects a bunch of different types of cactus. That's right, the guy is a real prick (ba dum tish.)
Current Champion: Leann
Champion Song Choice: "Hair of the Dog"
Challenger Song Choice: "One"
Observation: We had a no show today which means I get to get on and drag the loser (aka Michelle.) When will these people learn not to sign up and then flake out because I have no shame when it comes to dragging people.
10 o' Clock Toast:
Joey Jordison. Pour one out for the former Slipknot drummer who passed suddenly.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
"We should be able to slap people in the face when they say reacclimated." - Abe
"NFT's are this generation's pet rock." - Abe
What does that (bird watching) even involve? Do you throw them food?
New Head Roadie Alert! Congrats Brian, Head Roadie of Video Game Players