This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
So yesterday, the Rock 95.5 page tossed up a question onto their Instagram page that was fun and interesting. They wanted to know, if someone was moving to Chicago, what advice would you give them about the city. That alone is kind of boring so it had an added twist that made it a bit more fun, you were only allowed to give wrong answers. Examples included:
"You don't need a garage." Which we all know only leads to hell without one.
"If you live Downtown, you'll need a car." Ha, good luck spending your paycheck finding parking.
"Taxes are great here." This you realize is a total lie when the rest of that paycheck is absorbed by a new tax each week.
"In the winter, you can park anywhere. In fact, people will shovel out a spot for you." I swear murders have been provoked by this.
"You'll love the winter!" If you enjoy bipolar disorder.
Abe's was another classic "we have an amazing football team" as he thinks up a new nickname for The Red Rider Rocket Dog Penis Quarterback. Angi offered up "Navy Pier is where we all hang out," which last I checked, is a tourist trap hellhole that is absolutely no fun. This sparked a discussion point from Abe, wondering what kind of loser hangs out there. Angi explained that there are plenty of reasons to go there to see and do. It took a moment but then Abe recalled that he actually did go there on occasion, which I guess makes him the loser. Turning to the roadies, we got a few more good ones. Ray offered this lovely piece of advice. "You can definitely leave your car running when you go to grab a pack of smokes." Well, at least you're not paying for parking anymore. Rich "White Sox tickets are impossible to get!" Okay, this was hilarious. Jake "Go eat at Ed Debevic's." Aww RIP. Noel "Here, enjoy this glass of yummy malort." Monster sir, you are a monster. Head Roadie Troy threw in "The crime rate is the lowest in the country." You lost your car, next you lose your life, lucky you! Over on Twitter, Anthony added in "The Southside is the safest part of the city," to which Angi added "Move to Back of the Yards!" I'm pretty sure this makes them accessories to murder. Kevin on Twitter gave several, my personal favorite though was "Potholes? They'll get fixed." Not like it matters, your car was carjacked sentences ago. As for mine, "When you order pizza, make sure you only get deep dish." I mean, it's great once a year and when you have out of town guests but that's it.
All the Rest:
Angi was inspired by a friend once again this morning, as she tends to be while lying on the couch most days. This girl found herself a sugar daddy and even though she's probably shaking pill bottles once a week (picture it,) she's getting paid. Back then, Angi was doing all this stuff for free and god only knows, she could be rich and living in Vegas and all she would need to do is churn some butter here and there. On top of that, there's OnlyFans now and she would have made a goddamn killing on there (it's not too late hun.) So, if you were to get a do over of your single life, what would you do differently? Would you be married, would you have kids, maybe you used to be hot and your beauty escaped you. Abe went on to talk about that time when he was young and beautiful and working at a station in South Beach, Florida. He was literally like a block away from the Versace mansion. At this place he got free lasik, a jet ski but you know what he didn't do, bang hot pieces left and right. So I'm assuming Abe's biggest regret was that he didn't bang Gianni Versace before he was murdered? What about travel though, going out of state for work, could that have changed where you would end up now? Angi said she would have banged all of Def Leppard, all of their roadies and all of the roadies from this station as well. Abe of course detoured from the actual topic and started discussing gambling yet again, because that's all this show is about at this point. For the most part, more banging was what was needed to satiate most of the listeners. Roadie Ernest called to tell a sweet story, one that had Angi swooning. You see, he's heading to the UK to win back his girl, who suffered a breakdown and just had to go back home. He's currently waiting for his passport and once he gets it, he'll be heading there to try and win her back. He's had a lot of things go bad in his life so this is something good he needs to try and salvage. Angi expects a full update once things are settled. Everyone's favorite Head Roadie Trash Man Tim called in to annoy Angi and discuss his past where he was offered a job in Cali but turned it down to stay at Moraine Valley (I feel seen) and keep partying. He can't complain now though as he works for the amazing Flood Brothers now. As for me, I also wish I would have gone away for college, I think I would have been a totally different person now. That said, I do have a pretty good life all things considered so it's a double edge sword on altering the past because I kind of like the present (and yes this is off the intended point but they're my notes so whatever!)
You know how it goes, you want to get a little "work" done so you head over to the doctor to get your face shot up. For whatever reason, he's holding some kind of event called "Botox and Bubbles," that totally sounds fun right. You enter and find out however that it's the doctor who will be drinking while he shoves needles in your face, what could possibly go wrong. Well, if you live in Florida, it might turn out that the doctor is a "doctor" in theory. Loaded up on Four Loko's and carrying drugs from foreign countries, this quack really was only looking to make a quick buck. Somehow, this unlicensed guy was able to get in and do this botchery so he could funnel himself straight up cash (and apparently party.) When cops went undercover, the cover was blown and the tricked staff was as stupid as they were when they let this first occur. This messterpiece let loose an Angi story however. After asking Abe if he's ever had any work done, she went on to explain how she broke her arm at 6 and it was never set right. Abe explained that she has a gimp arm now and she relayed a story about how she could never get her arm straight in dance class. The moral of this story, don't break your arm or take injections/medical stuff if the doctor is drunk or has a joint in his mouth.
Finally, how would you like to get paid in fake money? Well, if you play for the Sacramento Kings, you're about to be able to indulge in this absolute madness. The team announced recently that their players can now be paid in bitcoin. The question became, would Abe do this? The CEO went on to say that the players could receive as much as their salary in bitcoin as they'd like. Abe wasn't keen on this and Angi took it further because what if bitcoin tanks, then you're left holding an empty bag? She also seems to believe that the owners know something us peasants do not (big shock) and that if bitcoin and NTFs are about to fail, they won't lose anything giving up this trash. Could you imagine working and being offered no money but fake currency and on top of that, an extra 4 weeks of vacation and guess what, you can't go anywhere cause you're poor. Abe would have been a bit more open minded toward doing this had it been two years ago, even a year ago. He had won 3 poker tournaments on shady sites that amounted to $8,000 in bitcoin and he got rid of it as soon as possible. Good thing he did because that would be down to about 60 bucks today. Abe says to invest in gold and silver. Angi said just to hold on to straight cash. I personally called out this being a money laundering scheme long ago and have always stood by that. As usual, the rich stay rich and the idiots get the last of their pennies snatched away.
Current Champion: Vacant (Vacated by Big Poppa)
Challenger Song Choice: "Don't Tread on Me"
Challenger Song Choice: "The Sound of Silence"
Observation: Christ, what is going on with these jobbers calling in and just screwing around with Request Wars. Brian literally said he was tired and didn't care or something and hung up. Joe wins by default but could have won with his rambling smack talk alone.
Winner: Head Roadie Joe
The 8:30 Call Out:
Taylor called out Jamie for being an insufferable bitch.
10 o' Clock Toast:
Rocky Balboa. He's done appearing in theCreedmovies.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
He put this big, smelly disgusting dude on me. Guess what I did? - Abe
Had sex with him? - Angi
Quote: "I had sex with people for free, questionable people." - Angi
Quote: "I hate bitch kids that complain about their successful parents. - Abe
PSAbe: If you're getting botox and the doctor is drinking Four Loko, it's probably not legit.
New Head Roadie Alert! Congrats Keith, Head Roadie of Western Ave.