Well, today has been an absolutely insane time and I don't even know where to start to construct and discuss this Chainsaw Friday craziness so let's look at tonight's Cork & Kerry tour stop and Angi giving birth to a new show member. First things first, Cork & Kerry tonight, there will be two pairs of Metallica tickets and a chainsaw. That's right, someone in legal decided it would be okay to let these two dingdongs wander drunkenly around the bar with a chainsaw. Here's the thing though, this was meant to be a prop chainsaw to celebrate Chainsaw Friday but that was not enough for Angi. No, she put her foot down as the host of this trainwreck show and wanted to give away the chainsaw. It was meant to be given away at the next tour stop but because she runs the asylum, she is going to buy another one and give the one they are bringing with them tonight away. So if you see someone wandering around The Loop with a chainsaw tonight, congratulate our winner and pray they aren't a serial killer. Speaking of people we hope aren't killers, also at Cork & Kerry tonight will be the newest member of the Angi Taylor Show. See, when the ratings are incredible like ours are, the big bosses allow for the morning zoo to expand a little by opening purse strings that are normally tighter than Marris' ass. Gone are the days of a pizza party for ratings, we are getting a third chair in the studio. His name is Michael Mason, he just moved to Chicago this week from Denver and he is a Cubs fan, which means Angi is alone on epic loser White Sox island. While the roadies will get a chance to meet Michael (and his wife) at Cork & Kerry tonight, he officially begins the show on Monday. The "8 foot tall, tatted up social media sweetheart," deserves an absolutely amazing Chicago Welcome (which is a little different than a San Diego Thank You.) Since he is new to town and we on this show are notorious pranksters (see: a-hole's,) we're going to have a little fun next week with a round of wrong answers only places in Chicago Michael needs to go visit. That's right, barely stepping foot in the studio and Angi is already looking for ways to make this guy regret being here. Either way, if you're going out tonight go say hi to our new boy or if you're going to be busy doing one of the 800 things there are to do this weekend in the city, tune in on Monday morning to meet him properly.