This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
As you should know by now, Angi and Abe loveCurb Your Enthusiasm. It is literally their favorite show and they truly feel you are doing yourself a disservice by not watching it. Anyway, on this past weekend's show, the episode involved Larry David having to make plans and the dread that came from it. The issue came in that it had sounded like a good idea at the time but then when the day of came, it was just awful. He decides to use the idea of a hot dog eating contest to get out of having to go to a dinner but in typical sitcom fashion, he ended up getting stuck having to actually do a hot dog eating contest. This inspired the topic Angi wanted to explore today which was what is the biggest lie you tell people to attempt to get out of doing something. Abe has what he considers a perfect fail safe one in that he says he has to help his uncle move something down in New Lennox. For the most part, as long as he involves him in some way, it convinces the person to not question or push the issue further. What I don't get is why he would reveal this on air because now it ruins that excuse for those who listen at least. This is different for Angi whose statute of limitations window on her excuse is pretty much closed down. She used to break out her daughter as her weapon of choice but now that she's 16, it makes it harder to pull the excuse out for an escape. With these two liars all sorted out and out of excuses, to the phones we go to find more to use (or at least debunk next time they're used.) Ashley loves to use the "double dragon" excuse which is her having it come out of both ends (diarrhea and puking at the same time. When you pull out that excuse, no one tends to want to ask for details. Kelly loves to say "OMG, my grandma just fell" to escape doing stuff. Shane likes to say that his dog got an STD from the neighbor's dog so he needs to go to the vet. Jake pulls the gym excuse saying he needs to train and do heavy pulls. Tyler though took the cake with his excuse that is ridiculous. "Sorry girl I was supposed to go with, I need to get an adult circumcision." He didn't anticipate that the recovery would be long and painful. He didn't want to see the girl because she was too eager and he had a better option available.
All the Rest:
It's Thursday and guess what, Angi & Abe are in hell. No literally, they are in a boiling pit of fire called the Rock 95.5 studio because for reasons that can't be explained (see Todd) the studio is 100+ degrees. To alleviate them baking to death in the studio, the door is currently being left open. This problem solving though leads to two different problems all together. The first is with the lack of soundproofing that comes with the door open. Though it's not as bad as could be since no one seemingly works in the building, there is still the issue of talking outside drifting into the studio. This is compounded when they're on air and people decide to stop outside the studio door and have a conversation because why not? The problem is Abe has crafted talking smack to an art and can drop it when need be to keep people from hearing what he has to say or find out that he's dumping on them all day. Angi, on the other hand, continues to do it regardless of the door being open or not. She'll do it in the hall too, she dgafos. The problem with all this fun talking hitting the ears of the unintended target is now they'll realize that you hate them and it ends up ruining the relationship. Angi decided to correct the course and essentially lied about what she would say if confronted about her smack talk. Speaking of which, the talk then turned to Todd the Taint, awful boss extraordinaire, who got the jobber stick whacked at him for having weird tight earlobes. As the temperature rose to 150 degrees a little bit later, Abe offered up another building related story. It seems that he had an incident in the bathroom on the 28th floor yesterday. Seeing as the bathroom on their current floor is always disgusting, Abe always goes upstairs toThe Walking Deadbathroom. It's clean because it's always empty upstairs, you know reacclimating and all. On their current floor, the bathroom is filled with weird guys from the other side of the building who are mean and always coughing. When they go into the bathroom on the studio floor, it turns into a mess. So yesterday he sneaks off to his regular spot on the 28th floor, which is only usually attacked by him and another worker in the building. However, as Abe was in there all quiet and on his phone, someone else came inside. Abe is in the stall and he hears footsteps that lead into the stall next to Abe's (in Angi and I's narrative, it was Abe's stall.) He was panting the whole time and when he sat down, he yelled out "oh yeah." Abe was floored by how disgusted he was and wondered why he would do that. Abe finished up and just left, opting not to wait outside to see who the filth pig was because he was afraid he might get murdered by him. He does hope though that the person was not someone he knows as that would ruin the relationship if he discovered the truth. It definitely was not the other person who always uses it and Abe went on to compare the whole incident to feeling like he was in the movieA Quiet Place.
Now, if you're curious as to why Abe is always in the bathroom and has emergency situations all the time, perhaps this next bit will offer some insight. On yesterday's show there was a talk of Popeyes (I think it was yesterday's show, days blend together at this point honestly.) Anyway, all the talk of Popeye's (which came up about Abe hating on Thanksgiving dinner,) made him want a chicken sandwich. With that need firmly planted in his brain, he figured it was a great excuse to try that Megan Thee Stallion Hottie Sauce (which apparently was very tasty.) Now, being stuck downtown, Abe had to go to the Popeyes at Union Station to fulfill his app order. The first problem arrived when he actually got to the restaurant whereupon he discovered that they barely started making his order as he walked in. Mind you, he had ordered ahead on the app because he wanted to be in and out. The second and more pressing issue came when Abe discovered that even though he had asked for extra mayo on his sandwich on the app, he was denied. Like the guy flat out told Abe "we don't do that." He just reached into the pile of chickens, threw it on a bun and flung it at Abe along with his nugget order and side of Hottie Sauce (I'm assuming this is how things went.) It wasn't a bad meal per say it was more about the attitude of the worker who just didn't seem to care. He apparently was an artist and just didn't want to destroy this sandwich that he masterfully threw together in two seconds. However, when pressed, the guy did offer to give Abe extra mayo for $1.12 (note: what an odd number combination for extra mayo.) Abe didn't care anymore after that whole exchange though and just left with his food to renew the cycle of him eating and pooping and eating and pooping for eternity.
Finally, Bears great Peanut Tillman called in to promote an event and auction that will be running as part of his foundation tomorrow. The Charles Tillman Cornerstone Foundation is holding their biggest annual event tomorrow, 4th (maybe 5th) Sports and Sparkle Gala. Though it is sold out, there is currently an auction of 83 items up for bidding that you can find on his website (check the podcast for a link.) You can also make a donation toward the foundation if you are feeling charitable and don't want/need swag cluttering your house (minimalist Abe feels that one to the core.) Anyway, there were plenty of other things discussed during the interview so let's dig into that. The first order of business was to ask if Peanut happened to be busy every Sunday for the next 3 months. While he's not, he hasn't played in 5 years so his assumption would be he could get in about two good quarters and that's it. However, even though he's not in the game anymore, he does look good. The next part of the discussion was about the lifting of the "Peanut Punch." He truly appreciates being mentioned and complemented by announcers and he feels more relevant than ever now. Pressed as to how he feels about the "Peanut Punch" being used by basically everyone, the league doesn't belong to him but he feels like it's a compliment to see it being used. His thought process is for people to use it and abuse it to their heart's content. As usual, there was a mini dip into the delusion and this came when the discussion turned to Spirit Halloween Soldier Field. Angi laid out her plans for her casino/strip club/weed dispensary/fast food outlet. Peanut found himself questioning the whispering that became the standard for today but after jumping over that, he felt that the entertainment expo was workable but not that family oriented. Angi offered that people should take their families to Arlington and leave the adult entertainment to Angi. Back to the Foundation, it is a place that offers to help the families of chronically/critically ill children. It should be looked at as two working parents being forced into a situation where one is working and one has to stay home. As it's seen, life happens and sometimes people fall behind. They are there to offer micro grants to families in need of assistance and that is especially prevalent during the pandemic. To wrap it up, Angi pointed out that she'll be attending the Gala in her hoochie dress because of course she will.
Request Wars 2.0:
Champion: Angi (Streak: 1)
Angi's (repping Jay the Gay) Song Choice: "Wish"
Abe's (repping Moses) Song Choice: "Teenagers"
Observation:
What can I say, I come to play and I play to win. Factor in that I was in need of revenge against Abe after his backstabbing of me and I'm not going to even bother considering Moses. I easily dominated Abe today and my choice was stellar, easy win.
Winner: Angi
10 o'Clock Toast:
Veterans. Thank you for your service and all that you do. Abe tried to go over all the branches of the military.
Peanut Tillman. He's amazing (check out the podcast for the interview)
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
"Here's what it is, we just lie all the time." - Angi