This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
So the main thing that seemed to carry through the show today was Jeff Bezos learning that money can't buy you everything. In this instance, even though he tossed his wife to the wayside for the first bimbo who walked his way. The problem was even though he has all the money and apparently a huge wang (thanks National Enquirer,) it doesn't mean that your outer beauty is going to retain the girl. This first test came the other day when Bezos and bimbo were at a function and Leo Dicaprio rolled up. As fast as you could say panty dropper, this thirsty girlfriend of his was looking for a bathroom hookup with Leo. Before we get to the point, I should add that Abe has a thing for ex-wife Mackenzie and all her contributions to society. Anyway, this hot weekend exchange led to a question for Angi. The hall pass or the free F as I call it, who is on your celebrity list? Like if you run into so and so and they're offering it up, you're taking it all. For Abe, he has two (I'd say three but Stamos was not put on there) in Trish Stratus and Shawn Michaels. I mean, it is Gay Tuesday after all. When pressed about it last night, Jay the Straight said Olympic track star Sydney Mcloughlin. This was not ideal for Angi for two seperate reasons. The first is this is a radio show and let's be real, 99% will have no idea who this is. On top of that, this girl looks suspiciously like Angi's best friend. With her rage properly settled in, Angi went over her list which included Michael B. Jordan and Cilian Murphy (it explains whyPeaky Blindersis her favorite show.) Over on the phones, Jackie expressed her want for Ryan Reynolds. This led to Angi telling the most incredible story about a time she was in a limo with Ryan Reynolds and Tara Reid. Tara attempted to light up a cigarette to which Ryan asked her if she needed to smoke it in the limo. In turn, this led her to attempt to jump out of the moving limo. Jackie's husband's choice btw is Rachel McAdams. Todd called to mention that Angi is his choice (which disgusted Abe and myself as well, I can't consider my beautiful love as a piece of meat.) Angi herself disagreed as well, as she doesn't consider herself a celebrity. Brianne called to explain how she wants to get with Sal fromImpractical Jokers. Joe is totally hall passing for Anna Kendrick. Even though Angi feels like she has no lips, Joe is in love with her hotness and voice. Benson called to claim Jessica Alba and Angi offered to fight him for her. Steve called in while lying on his stomach to profess his want for Alyssa Milano and Drew Barrymore. Kevin wants a three way piece of pie consisting of Lita Ford, Karen Gillan and Angi (which he was apparently paid to say according to her.) Shane is all for red headed Scarlett Johansson. Angi explained that Colin Jost must be funny as hell and that totally compensates for him looking like a mailbox. As for me, well we all know that I want Jon Moxley to shove a light tube down my throat but I'm also a bad person. I feel I should add on that Jay the Straight was complaining about this segment btw because of all the moaning Angi was doing.
All the Rest:
Hey, remember the band Bad Wolves, who did that really incredible cover of The Cranberries "Zombie?" Of course you do, they were relevant for about five seconds because it was a genuinely good song. Well anyway, they've broken up and are now all apparently working at Red Lobster. It's funny how that happened since Red Lobster was a main topic off the bat today. Cheddar Bay Biscuits aka the thing Red Lobster is known for is part of a hot new trend for Thanksgiving this year. Cheddar Bay Biscuit stuffing is just what you need to shove inside your bird this year to make you the hit of the holiday. Apparently they are now being sold at Walmart in the freezer aisle and you should be stockpiling now (because of all those supply chain issues.) Now, this is not something that matters to Abe because surprise surprise, Abe hates Thanksgiving food. Turkey is his main culprit on his hatred list because it's dry and disgusting. He is not opposed to eating it, especially when it is on subs but he's not into it. Abe also is not a fan of stuffing which means the only way you're getting Cheddar Bay Biscuit stuffing this year is going to the Taylor household. Angi loves stuffing because she is made of happiness and rainbows whereas Abe is a walking ball of anger and rage. Abe also is not a fan of gravy but he can get down with mashed potatoes. Also on his plate is deep fried turkey skin because he finds that delicious (did anyone else's chest just start to ache?) Anyway, instead of having a traditional Thanksgiving meal, Abe would rather have some Popeyes chicken and mashed potatoes. While he runs out to get some chicken now after work, Angi will be Instacarting (she has never/will never step foot in a Walmart) a market share of Cheddar Bay Biscuits to stockpile in the freezer next to her various brown liquors.
Right, now that our meat situation is all settled and you can leave the turkey at home, time to consider the flight. Well, I mean I'm sure there will be flights taken by relatives as restrictions continue to ease and smart people get vaccinated. Btw, don't at me about vaccines and such, we here at The Angi Taylor Show want to be safe and healthy so we got our jabs. Anyway, for whatever reason I'm making this Thanksgiving based even though it's weeks away because it felt smart to mash together these topics and tie them in a holiday bow. Don't at me because you hate Thanksgiving (especially you Abe,) this is all relevant in the circle around. So, when you go to get on a flight, if you're clearly not visiting relatives, where are you going then? Abe answered Vegas because I can't ever imagine him picking a place outside of Vegas at this point. So, he's all settled into his Vegas flight on Southwest and the drink cart is coming by. What is Abe Kanan ordering? (Don't Kill Angi music plays.) Water, because of course even on a flight Abe is a total square. While he enjoys his canned water, which Angi thinks tastes weird, let's hear a small list from a flight attendant of what you shouldn't be ordering on flights. A bloody mary because the high salt content will help with the swelling you up on a plane. Diet Coke because they take forever to pour due to the foam/bubbles corresponding with the altitude. Tea/coffee because it is made from tanks of water that are never cleaned and are right near the toilet. Tap water because it comes from the same place as your disgusting tea/coffee water. Lastly, booze because it is dehydrating but who is that stopping. Angi gets her brown liquor and wine in bulk on the plane and numbs herself while working toward the Guiness World Record for most dehydrated person on the planet.
Finally, it's Young Reader's Day (thanks for the knowledge Conrad Cooper) which means that the topic will immediately become something else. Abe began by discussing how he used to pretend to read back in the day so he could go to Pizza Hut and scame a sausage/pepperoni personal pizza. He and Sam would both say they read seven books and impress the lady behind the counter making minimum wage who probably wants to jump off a bridge. So Abe's unwillingness to read started his life of scamming. Further down the line, Abe once scammed a pawn shop lady by selling her an Epiphone guitar that she mistook for a Gibson (which was worth more, blah blah blah.) Here on The Angi Taylor Show, we are a bit shifty in our tactics but we're good people (well, actually....) Anyway, Angi also had a scam story that was a bit more ummm problematic? She once had a boyfriend that she moved in with and she was giving him money monthly for various expenses (I'm assuming this was like rent, booze, birth control and his cut of her nightly earnings.) She decided she did not want to date him anymore and made her intentions clear. He was none too pleased with this decree and ended up throwing her stuff on the lawn. As a scam to get back at him, she drained his bank account and then some. I'm not entirely sure how this is a scam but let's just keep moving along shall we. Abe also had another scam from his days as a young twink. He had a prepaid Visa card with nothing on it that kept getting accepted at the parking garage of another radio station and he ended up getting free parking for 2 months. Turning to the phones, Leah was in high school when she went to get a haircut at the mall. She ended up not being charged and got a free haircut due to clerical error. There was another story of a restaurant that never brought the bill and so walking out was the proper option. We also heard from Head Roadie Glenn, who was able to get with two sisters by convincing them he had a twin. Angi was confused by all this because what if one twin was considered better than the other and the twin was packing more and would do things that the other twin wouldn't do.
Request Wars 2.0:
Champion: Abe (Streak: 6)
Angi's (repping Mario) Song Choice: "Looks That Kill"
Abe's (repping Sydney) Song Choice: "Hair of the Dog"
Observation:
The most important round of Request Wars ever, Abe is looking to steal Mario's G.O.A.T. status and wants to ruin Angi's days forever. This is a wild ride that needs to stop, Angi and Mario need to bring this home and shut Abe down.
Winner: Abe
10 o'Clock Toast:
Leo Dicaprio. You must have incredible BDE if you've got a literal billionaire's girlfriend ready to throw it all away for you.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
"I love scams, I'm known for scams." - Abe
PSAbe: If you write a letter to the FCC, you need to reevaluate your life.
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