This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
Ah Halloween weekend has come and gone and it was ... lackluster. Mind you, this is my literal favorite weekend/day of the year but the feeling was just not there for me this time around. It seems I was not the only one as we were treated to a double dose of Angi and Abe's Halloween adventures this morning. It started with Abe, whose Halloween dislike was able to be bypassed by taking a trip to Starved Rock with his girlfriend Cathy Tropicana and let me tell you, I bet he wishes he had stayed home and gave out candy instead. That's right, Abe hated his trip to Starved Rock and if you expected anything else, you're clearly not a regular listener. You see, he ended up taking 22,000 steps and all that walking did not agree with his flat feet. Oh, did you know Abe has flat feet (again, if you listen, you should) but if you didn't, you learned it today because he made a point of it ... alot. The whole ordeal sounded like a horrible hike as he had to do long jumps and climbing, which was too much for those flat feet. There was also the 9 inch jump he did over a rock and it almost killed him. After that he was forced into a situation where he couldn't walk and was waiting for a helicopter to show up or have someone drop him a slide so he could get out of there as fast as possible. Once he was done being airlifted (or something) back to his car, he got somewhat through Morris and his stomach became as triggered as his flat feet. There was an emergency bathroom situation brewing and he needed to attend to it as fast as possible. Getting out of the car, he ran into a local Culvers and spent 47 minutes in the bathroom per every emergency situation. Cathy Tropicana proceeded to get herself some ice cream and sat in the car waiting for him to eventually return. He thanked the people who cleaned the Culver's bathroom because it was pristine and wonderful. Over at Angi's though, she was all for the trick or treating and boy did she come to regret it. As the doorbell started to ring at 3 o'clock, which means Angi was barely awake from her Saturday night drunken shenanigans (assumption but let's be realistic, probably right.) She was in no way prepared for the influx because she assumed after dusk was when the first would come through. This led to an interesting contrast discussion in how Angi talked about how she trick or treated after dark and Abe did it while it was light out. The problem of course was us spending all last week discussing how Angi gives out full candy bars because once word got out, people went nuts. In the bowl this year was 14 full sized Snickers, Reeses, Twix and a bunch of mini Twix wrappers. See, the problem was she shopped late and there was only so much she could find. Abe was shocked about candy being sold out but not like he would have noticed as he avoided it. Angi also floored him by telling him some kids rejected her full size Snickers, opting for something that wasn't full of nuts. Reaching in the bowl, the kids were told to take two. However, some broke the rules and took handfuls, which made her feel violated and stolen from. As I mentioned there were also Twix wrappers involved, which one kid got a handful of since Jay the Straight was having a field day eating them. The overall assumption was that people were out early since it was a Sunday but due to being underprepared, Angi did have to make a CVS run for extra stuff. However, the turn out wasn't as crazy as she anticipated and there were a bunch of leftovers (that Jay the Straight has probably already eaten.) Abe's intent after the show is to go on a discount candy run because he's smart (if he can get lucky to find it.) We also got a piece of upcoming holiday advice, buy your Christmas gifts the day after for discounts. Also, forgo wrapping paper and throw everything in a garbage bag like he does. Angi suggested he get gift bags but she was also speaking to someone who does his Christmas shopping the night before the actual holiday so I think she should have understood that nothing is going to change.
All the Rest:
Ah Monday morning which always tends to be the perfect time for a hodgepodge (let's face it, I already mashed together Abe and Angi's Halloween experiences above so.) Here's another fitting mash together as they both involve lists and small factoids to go with them. Angi asked Abe what his go to sandwich was which turned out to be subs. If you are a frequent listener, you would know this man loves his meat filled bread sandwiches oh so much. So this led into a list of the five favorite sandwiches (of the polled obviously.) Cheesesteaks came out on top, followed by burgers (is that really a sandwich?,) pulled pork, Italian subs and Reubens. 2/3 of the people polled also added that to make a sandwich perfect, they need between 3 and 6 toppings (Abe ran down his list of toppings but like, I was busy.) Anyway, 57% of people polled say that the meat is the most important part (I mean, everyone loves a mouth full of meat) and they also added that olives ruin the sandwich. Abe is indifferent toward olives whereas Angi hates them (yes, I added it to the list.) Abe didn't think a cheesesteak would take first place and suggested Angi try the one at Jersey Mike's. According to him, all you need is layers of flavor to make a good sandwich. Continuing on the list, Angi also gave a really perfect one for Monday mornings. This involved boosts and how many are needed to get someone through a full day. I'm assuming they are not talking about the three of us as we are up so early that by the time a boost would be viable, I've already crashed and I'm running on fumes. Anyway, the "average" person needs three boosts to make it through the day and the need for the first swings in at about 9:12 in the morning. Anyway, here's a list of 10 things that can give you that morning boost/pump to get you going when the crash hits. Good news (that's quite lacking these days,) getting sun, going for a walk, coffee, fresh air, holiday's to look forward to (well at least you got Thanksgiving and Christmas coming soon,) watching a show or movie (as someone who has buried himself in content as of late, it makes total sense,) receiving a compliment, hearing your favorite song, knocking something out and fixing a problem. Not on the list but suggested and probably should be on the list is cocaine (which Angi also suggested but you know, we don't promote hard drug use on this show.)
Rounding back to Halloween adjacent now as Abe explained how his girlfriend wants him to get a passport. She also wanted him to go to Starved Rock so he chose that to satiate her desires and keep her from asking for things again for a few months. She has a desire to go to Greece (because she's Greek) and as you all know, Abe refuses to leave the country. When Abe got to the first waterfall, he just assumed that a staircase would magically appear or a helicopter would come and lift him away from this nightmare scenario. You see, Mr. Kanan is not known for climbing and so when he moved up a stone, he had to slide down it. Then there was the 9 inch rock that he had to jump over (but wanted to mount, at least that's my assumption knowing him as well as I do.) This almost caused him to die because he suffers from weak ankles and flat feet. Plus there was that emergency bathroom situation as well. What does all this have to do with anything, well the topic Angi was building to involve being dragged somewhere you don't want to be by your significant other. Angi's dragging consisted of hockey games, which for most sound like heaven but for her it was hell. She apparently just does not like hockey (damn, so close to her having another tacked onto her list.) Angi suggested a swap with Abe, he could have her hockey games and she'll take the Starved Rock experience. On the phone, Jennifer called to complain about her boyfriend taking her to the casino every Saturday. She doesn't gamble and so watching him play blackjack and craps is just yawn inducing for her. Whereas I expected Angi to hang up on her for such talk, she instead offered to take Jennifer's place since you know, Angi lives for one on one time with the casino. Carl's worst dragging was to his own wedding, which is understandable as some people clearly shouldn't be married. Levi called to say the museum, which he assumes no one likes. Abe, of course, doesn't enjoy it either because you know, caveman mentality. Angi, being a classy angel, loves it however. Abe doesn't get the point of it, like who wants to go look at art when you could just go on Wikipedia to see that stuff (so cultured, he's such a character.) He used an example about a vulture thing he once saw and hated as a reason to avoid museum exhibits. Chad was once dragged to a dry wedding and well, that's just unimaginable. Angi agreed and said he should have stuffed booze in the car while Abe said he should have taken his money back out of the wedding card. If there is no open bar, don't bother getting married. Just take it to city hall as there should be no dry weddings ever. In fact, all weddings should have a bar, as should all kids' birthday parties.
Finally, for all you fun seekers out there, it's time to wrap it up (it always was but now you really should be.) Turns out there is a new STD in the UK and it is delightfully flesh eating. That's right, this messy awfulness causes beefy red ulcers all over the "region." These thick disgusting sores can cause tissue damage if left untreated. Angi couldn't pronounce the name of this newly discovered fun destroyer so the nickname given was "donna." As I sort of stated, it's big in the UK and can be transmitted through unprotected sex and skin on skin contact. This prompted Abe to say no more wrestling (with Stamos I'm assuming.) Though Angi is unsure if this is a forever STD, it can be treated with antibiotics. There was a question of crotch flesh and if you lose it, does it return to you? Also, how do you explain to your girlfriend or long term partner that your crotch is now a mess of sores and pain. Better yet, imagine you have to go on Tinder and in your profile, you end up having to say you have "donna."
Request Wars 2.0:
Champion: Angi (Streak: 2)
Angi's (repping Brittney) Song Choice: "Popozão"
Abe's (repping Jade) Song Choice: "Purple Haze"
Observation:
Angi decided to be stupid and have a little fun today, offering to throw her streak because she was feeling silly. With this in play, Abe brought out his newest threat which was if Angi ate up a victory today, he would bring theFull Housetheme tomorrow. Abe also took a moment to clown and drag his brother Sam for the hell of it. I voted for Angi because I appreciate trolling but this seems like it can go wrong.
Winner: Abe
10 o'Clock Toast:
Joe and Courtney. They moved out of town which means Angi inherited all their booze. It was loaded into the back of her car and she has yet to sort through it.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
PSAbe: If you go out looking for a fight, it's time to reevaluate your life.
PSAbe: I'm just trying to teach you how to gamble.
Best Bet of the Week (Week 8 Results): Abe Loses!