This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
Well, we've made it to another year and low and behold, our little girl Angi Taylor is all grown up. That's right, the queen of the mornings finally turned 21 today. (She has a gun to my head while I type this because if I ever spoke her true age aloud, I would look like an extra on the set of an Alec Baldwin movie.) To celebrate her big day, Angi got a call from ... Jay the Straight who basically wished she was dead. Well, I mean I can understand why after all he has to put up with from her which includes couch hogging, falling down all the time and of course three hours of interpretive Prince dancing. All jokes aside (I'm not joking, send help, she's stabbing me,) Tommy Lee was actually lined up to call in today but ended up ghosting Abe about 3 days ago. This seems par for course for this show as Angi had a similar amazing call in surprise planned for Abe's birthday and that also fell through. (Plus, Sami Zayn and Daddy Moxley didn't wish me a happy birthday, why live anymore even!) Instead of the rock star calling in, Angi got a rock star gift instead. Sure, she was taken aback slightly when Abe handed her a trash bag and told her it was her gift (the jokes write themselves today) but was pleasantly surprised (and overlooked the fact that he didn't bother to wrap it) when it revealed that the contents were a royal blue pair of Jordans. I too have a gift for Angi but much like Abe's that's still sitting on my fridge 3 months later, I have a feeling hers will be joining it. Unlike my very thoughtful gift, Abe had to go to forever suffering show husband Jay the Straight to get Angi's shoe size and figure out a color she doesn't own. Now, she did don them immediately so let's hope no one scuffs them at tonight's event. That's right, the station that brings you plenty of rock is also producing a funeral (and from the looks of the coffin in yesterday's social media video and the fact that the phones blew up again today,) I'm assuming the budget is totally shoe string. So what better way than to celebrate tonight at115 Bourbon Streetwith Angi, Abe, Jay the Straight, Minnesota Barb and Conrad Cooper (probably some of the other staff as well, my attendance is up in the air because I was told I can't carve holes in the bathroom walls there.) While most of the show was focused on the impending party celebrating the burial of the morning show frankenmonster, there were also plenty of great birthday calls as well. There were show staples like Trashman Tim, who called to wish Angi a "happy birthday" as well as promote something as he always does when he calls. There was Canadian Konrad who sent Angi a lovely gift and his kids got in on the fun. Truck Driver Brad, plenty of other Head Roadies, tons of regular roadies and calls from sweet as can be Mama Kanan, who got her well wishes in even before Angi's own mother. Needless to say it was a great morning and will be followed by what is sure to be an amazing night.
All the Rest:
This morning we also took a moment to dig into Abe's deeply repressed but coming out of the closet more and more each day gay past. When Angi asked Abe what his favorite toy was as a kid, he didn't hesitate to say He-Man. He had them all: He-Man, Skeletor, Castle Greyskull, Evil-Lyn (the original drag queen,) and Beast Man. While there wasn't really time to analyze all the gay stuff that was clearly worth exploring here, it was a proper set up for a discussion about Legos. Yes, those delightful bricks that hurt so bad you want to murder anyone who happens to leave them lying around. Now if you have a kid or perhaps you as an adult actually love Legos, there is aHome Aloneset that is coming out soon. This is a staple in most houses as either a Christmas movie or something you loved as a kid and now as an adult (and if you're a good parent, you have shown your kid the movie.) Abe added that there is a fence around the house in Wilmette as a fact because sure, why not. The set itself is 4,000 pieces and comes with 4 mini figs including Kevin, his mom, the old man and The Wet Bandits. It comes outon November 1stand will set you back $250 if you are dying to own this. The discussion then continued about the disbelief on the cost of Legos as they are just plastic colored bricks. They found it funny how this used to be a gift that you would give to loser kids (according to Abe) and now they are hard to come by and expensive as hell. Basically, the conclusion became that Legos are a racket.
Request Wars 2.0:
Champion: Angi (Streak: 5)
Angi's (repping Thomas) Song Choice: "Tomorrow"
Abe's (repping Scott) Song Choice: "You're the Best"
Observation:
Abe's song sucks, the computers suck and it's Angi's birthday. This whole thing devolved into a discussion about The Karate Kid. Let's be realistic, it's Angi's birthday so she deserves the win unless of course you hate her, then Abe should win. Both of these songs are boring, I'm indifferent on the winner.
Winner: Angi
Don't Kill Angi Weekly Recap:
Angi Celebrated Her Birthday Week
Mon: Mike had Angi go to Hot Topic to buy herself a birthday gift. The guy working there asked if she was there shopping for her daughter. In the t-shirt section, she found a Panic at the Disco crop top. The sales clerk was enraged because she was too old to be shopping there. After breaking a hangar in half, the clerk stabbed Angi to death with it. (Dead)
Tue: Vinny had Angi go to Excalibur for her clubbing needs. When she arrived, she discovered it was a Tao restaurant now. The bouncer outside told her he's been waiting to throw her out for the last 15 years. After tossing her into the street, she's humiliated but still breathing. (Alive)
Wed: The Doctor of Dance had Angi get a slice of french silk pie from Bakers Square. She told the lady handing her the slice that it was her birthday week. The server told Angi that she had candles and placed them in the slice. Upon lighting them, they both realized it was dynamite and Angi exploded all over the restaurant. (Dead)
Thur: Chris had sexy Abe get Angi the skydiving experience for her birthday. She jumped out of a plane and it was glorious. She did somersaults until it was time to pull her parachute. She flew down at rapid speed after it was revealed there was an anvil in her backpack instead of a parachute and she splattered all over the ground. (Dead)
Fri: Eugene had Angi take a Lyft to115 Bourbon Street. Head Roadie Ferrari jumped in front of the Lyft with his Uber BMW instead. He spent the whole time talking about Jesse James Dupree. Angi almost died of boredom but they pulled up to Bourbon Street. just in time and she rolled out of the car, saving herself. (Alive)
10 o'ClockToast:
New Connections Rehab. Angi was in rehab at 16, this is the worst birthday toast ever.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
Duo Quote:
"I'm not good on my knees." - Abe
"Speak for yourself honey." - Angi
Quote: "I wanna see you in the casket" - Jay the Straight
Quote: "Here's some cake for Taylor, I already lit the candles for her. blow something else out for once ya whorebag." - Minn Barb
PSAbe: Do you know what I've done for you, I'm 5-1 this season.
PSAbe: I'm not threatening anyone, I can't believe this amazing run I'm having.
New Head Roadie Alert! Congrats Mike, Head Roadie of Water
New Head Roadie Alert! Congrats Tom, Head Roadie of Worth, Il
Best Bet of the Week: Take Chicago Bears +12 1/2 against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers