This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
Now I personally would never call any of the discussion topics on this show crappy but this one definitely was. While digging around Reddit as Angi tends to do while she's lying on the couch drinking Jack Daniels and watching The Real Housewives of (insert spin off city,) she found a topic composed by a theme park worker. He was discussing the worst thing someone has done at his job and it was definitely a big stinking mess. Now I'm obviously dancing around using a word so common it shouldn't even be considered a swear anymore but basically a guest who was riding a roller coaster had diarrhea all over the ride. This caused another worker of the carny arts to chime in about a guest in the haunted house he had worked at. While doing a walk through, there was a noticeable smell and upon turning on the lights, they discovered in one of the rooms that someone had smeared poop all over the walls and mirrors. Another ride operator talked about how many times he's seen people try to sneak infans onto roller coasters (hearing this gave me less faith in humanity than I already had, which wasn't much.) So, with the idea firmly planted, Angi was seeking to hear the worst things that people had done at the roadies workplace. Now usually, Angi turns to Abe to hear his story first but today, we were treated to a scorching tale from her off the bat. It was back when Angi was bartending and the place she worked at was having a huge Halloween party. One of the patrons really wanted to be cool and dressed up as a haystack, as in literally stuffed inside of one. This genius had to be stuffed inside the bar door off the bat because he was so bulky. Once in though, he took to the dance floor but this place was definitely not feeling his costume. By this I mean that people were flicking their lit cigarettes at him and at one point, he ended up catching fire. As for Abe though, he too had a real stinker of a story which traveled the lane we started in. There was a guy who worked at a radio station he was working at who once took a dump on the bosses desk and then proceeded to destroy the station vehicle with a golf club. "It was all in good fun brother" was their way of basically letting him off the hook while telling him not to do it again. With their stories established, they took to the phones to hear the tales of the roadies. Stephanie worked at a Titanic exhibit with actual artifacts from the doomed ship. A co-worker who was a photographer took it up themself to shake a case with plates in it and they ended up breaking. Abe for one was astounded that these priceless plates were destroyed /s. Stu (I think that was his name) called to mention about when he was working at a pet store. Upon opening for the day, a guy came in and asked where the bathroom was. He unfortunately didn't make it and took a dump on the aisle floor and even worse, used one of the dog toys to wipe himself. He proceeded to throw the feces covered dog toy behind a bag of dog food to be found later. Kristi was working as a nurse at a child's hospital when she walked into a patient's room and found a mom going down on a dad. Casey was working as a bartender at a restaurant and some parents changed their son's diaper and left it on the table without a tip to boot. Robin works in mortuary transport and once had to pick up a 500 pound rotting corpse that had been sitting for days. When they moved it, it exploded basically. Well, that's just a lovely way to cap this. I have a story about a woman stealing when I worked in a toy store as a teen but I need to go throw up now.
All the Rest:
Sure, it may only be October but guess what, Christmas is right around the corner. For someone like Abe, this isn't usually an issue as he does all his shopping on Christmas Eve. The thing is, this year is going to be quite different. Since most people were locked down last year due to, you know, the killer pandemic that still isn't over, there's probably going to be a desire to go overboard this year. Unfortunately, this is where the bad news of this story breaks in and let me tell you, it is very terrible. You see, due to covid which caused people not to work which means goods were not being produced, the supply chain is a mess. On top of that, items you would expect to be in abundance are going to be hard as hell to find. I know this first hand as I still have yet to get my hands on a Playstation 5. This also expands to groceries as if you go to the store you're going to see a bit more empty shelves and rising costs to offset the small supply. Now normally this would probably not be something that gets mentioned on this show because we like to keep it lively but Angi was personally affected by this story. One of the things they announced would be hard to find this year is holiday wine. Obviously, the moment she heard this, she went right to Binny's and stocked up three carts full and didn't mind the looks she got as it took an hour to ring her out. The real story though is Christmas as we used to know it is at risk. Like, stores do not expect to see their Christmas supply until at least February. This means that you're going to start seeing Black Friday sales right now because stores are afraid that there will be nothing come the end of next month. All of this led to shock for Abe, absolute shock that when people are working, nothing is getting made. While he is right, Angi went on to blame Boaty McBoatface which is a bit more spot on as to why goods aren't moving. Now, the obvious solution to this Christmas meltdown dilemma is to get gift cards so people can eventually buy things when the apocalypse finally comes. For Angi though, this is kind of a no go as she hates doing gift cards. She's in the realm of people who buy thoughtful gifts that are from the heart (insert joke here about what she got me for my b-day that we still laugh about but I don't think we discussed on the show.) Now Abe, king of the capitalists knows that cash is the real way to someone's heart and that is obviously the most thoughtful gift. This led Angi to wonder if Abe wants cash from her for Christmas. He went on to explain that a kid would totally rather have cash as a gift but Abe wants a real gift from her, which ironically is probably cash but he wouldn't say it. He always used to be so disappointed when he would get White Sox jogging outfits as a kid because if he had money, he could use it to be a degenerate. As for Angi, an ex boyfriend once gave her cash as a gift and she loved it (take note Jay the Straight, remember how she reacted recently on Instagram when you gave her that gift.)
Now on this show, you know we love providing the roadies with tons of information. Since we're up so early every day, coffee seems to be a perfect topic worth going over on the show. As we know, Abe has his Dunkin' iced coffee each morning and Angi, well she has a bottle of Jack Daniels that gets freshly opened at the start of the day and is empty by the time the show ends. Anyway, this topic was all about coffee preference and what it says about you. As I said, Abe loves his coffee black and iced. The same goes for Angi, only she'll throw in some sugar. We, of course, were treated to a back and forth about what constitutes as black coffee. With that discussion solving nothing, Angi got to describing a person via how they take their coffee. Those who order iced coffee in the winter are apparently misfits who go against the grain and like to break the rules. If you're a lover of all things latte, that means you are totally middle of the road and are not too adventurous. Fancy an espresso, well that just means that you are a strong and powerful character. Now if you're getting a cappuccino, you're more fun than the latte drinker. What about you basic bitches that love Pumpkin Spice Latte, well you are into fads and have a constant craving need to fit in and belong. Lastly, people who like straight black coffee are not serial killers but are determined, driven and selfish, which sounds about right. Abe retold the story of that disgusting diabetic monster who ordered a coffee at Dunkin that was 10 and 12 (creams and sugars.) If you're going to throw that much crap in your coffee cup, you might as well only put it half way full of coffee so you can leave room for all the junk. The segment ended with Abe making a plea for someone to go to Starbucks and basically just ask for as many syrup pumps as possible, further amended to asking for 100.
Finally, for once something worthwhile came out of this show in the form of a hack/tip for flying. So, Angi discovered a trip to make sure that your next flight (which for most people will be forever because delightful covid never ends,) this is a way to make it comfortable. By comfort the explanation here is that you can get an entire row of seats for yourself and your travel partner. Here's what you need to do. Find a row that has all 3 seats open and book the window and aisle seat while leaving the middle one open. Seeing as the middle seat is the worst of the trio, no one will really want that to begin with. Now, add in this secondary trick which is to choose row 13 if it's open because people are stupid and superstitious and won't want to sit in row 13. There you go, you now have a good chance of getting a whole row and also not having to share with a 3rd party who will surely ruin your trip. This trick won't work for Abe unfortunately because he flies Southwest and there's a lack of choice there. Then again there's also a lack of staff for them apparently as we have seen on the news for the last few weeks. Abe himself had a trick that he used to like to use which involved blowing his nose and coughing. Sadly, pesky covid has ruined the coughing aspect of his trick so now he just needs to look like a snotty mess to keep people away.
Request Wars 2.0:
Champion: Angi (Streak: 3)
Angi's (repping Erin) Song Choice: "Fire Woman"
Abe's (repping Vicky) Song Choice: "Big Bottom"
Observation:
Vicky says she is an OG fat ass and that's why she's amazing. Erin told Angi that Vicky gets Brazilian cement injected into her ass and that's what's really up. Yes, the smack talk was literally about fat asses this morning ... God bless this show.
Winner: Angi
10 o'ClockToast:
Adele. She keeps it real and wants her last meal to be from McDonald's, which she eats once a week as is.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
(Nothing noteworthy came out of the show today)