This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
So even though there was one valid moment of discussion today (see below to see why the notes are so short today,) I felt the need to dissect something that Abe discussed after a song had ended aka something that I don't normally address in my notes. This has to do with a long running Abe Kanan list that I've been tasked with keeping track of. Abe was insistent that Bobbie Brown (not the other one,) who was the actress in the Warrant "Cherry Pie" video is dead. Then she was alive, nope dead again, no alive, no definitely dead. After doing a quick Google search, he found out that she was in fact alive. You see, for some reason Abe has this deranged idea that a ton of people who are alive are dead and vice versa. Now I need to add in something personal here. I recently had my Chromebook I use for the show explode and I did not back up a copy of my show notes outline (+misc information) as recently as I had thought. For that reason, I lost the previous list of people who are alive that Abe thought were dead (along with other small chunks of nonsense information that is only relevant in situations like this.) That said, I was able to recall most of it but the 3-4 alive/dead celebrities are lost to the fog of memory and I do not want to go through hundreds of written notes to find the missing info. So instead of adding in those four, I'm going to give the current list I actually have of people who Abe assumes are dead but alive: Reba McIntyre, Jake Gyllenhaal, Bobbie Brown and Rikki Rocket (as I said, this list is 3-4 others short due to my technical fail.) On the flip side, here's some celebs Abe thinks are alive but dead: Aretha Franklin, Florence Henderson, Rue McClanahan and Bea Arthur. Also worth noting before I close this up, Angi has been shocked at least three times now when we've told her Jani Lane is dead because she assumed she was alive and forgot the two times prior we told her because of her early onset.
All the Rest:
As crazy as this is going to sound, there was so much going on between Minnesota Barb torturing Angi and local Ticket Fairy Abe Kanan making four drop offs in the studio, as well as giving away the chainsaw this morning and everything else that occurs on a normal day that there really wasn't much of anything to add in my notes. As I am the secretary though and my job is to provide an overall recap, everything else you expect to find during the end of the week round up needs to be added to the record books so here that all is at least. That said, I did have one nugget worth noting in here.
Finally, Angi found herself completely disturbed this morning and assumed that whispering to the roadies may solve it. Last night, when she headed to bed (Angi goes to sleep at 7 because, you know, she gets up at 3:30 in the morning,) she texted forever and endlessly suffering show husband Jay the Straight to come give her a kiss. This was code word for "I'm lying nude in our bed that I hate sharing with you and I want you to come plow me until my eyes go sideways." Annoyed that she interrupted him spanking it to Thursday Night Football, he went up and gave her exactly what she asked for. He walked in, avoided her legs which were strategically placed behind her head and kissed her on the lips (wrong ones) and left. She was annoyed that football means more to him these days then sex but Abe helped explain it a bit better. Btw, when I say that Abe explained it better, I mean Abe made everything all about him. Abe happens to have a $100 bet going with Jay the Straight involving fantasy so they need to focus on the game and cash and not her frankentits and prizes. You see, Angi needs to realize that she's going to be lying around for banging at all times but football is only here for a few months.
Request Wars 2.0:
Champion: Angi (Streak: 4)
Angi's (repping Nick) Song Choice: "Head Like a Hole"
Abe's (repping Bobby) Song Choice: "Burning Heart"
Observation:
Abe yelled about songs being picked that are played on the show as is. Angi explained that she's amazing and deserves to win. Abe is apparently in contact with the guy who wrote his song today and CM Punk called Angi to vote for NIN. This is a matter of loving vs hating America it seems.
Winner: Abe
Don't Kill Angi Weekly Recap:
Angi Is Seeking White Sox Playoff Tickets
Mon: Crystal had Angi pull out a baseball bat in a sketchy parking lot. Frank Thomas rolled up and told Angi that he was not only blocking Abe but Angi as well and then proceeded to run her over with his car. (Dead)
Tue: Eric had Angi buy White Sox bleacher seats off Craigslist. She went to a sketchy house to get the tickets and ran into an angry dog outside it. When she knocked on the door, a guy in his underwear answered and asked Angi what tickets she was looking for. While she tried to explain, the dog got loose but it turned out that it was friendly and just wanted to be petted. (Alive)
Wed: Jack had Angi go to the airport's regular jobber line. Angi got to the front of the line and was pulled aside for an extra security check. She was brought into a room and the drug sniffing dog went nuts. She happened to be holding a half pound of weed on her but she thought she was still a dog whisperer from the previous day and attempted to pet the dog. The dog then proceeded to maul her to death. (Dead)
Thur: Maggie had Angi do the Moncada Monchada and everyone in Texas was loving it. She became the toast of the town! (Alive)
Fri: Golden Birthday Boy Jackson had Angi go to the Honky Tonk Grill. Angi walked in and they were cheering because Angi mushed the White Sox. Angi became a hero in Houston and was offered a radio show! (Alive)
10 o'Clock Toast:
Jay the Straight. He's more interested in football than Angi and gave her a kiss when she expected a fist(ing.)
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
PSAbe: Don't Stop ... Believing
PSAbe: Hey MLB, no one has the MLB Network. Put the game on a regular channel.
PSAngi: Before you start dragging sponsors to hell, make sure they're not a sponsor.
PSAngi: If your person is upstairs and says give me a good night kiss and you're nude, hit it.
PSAngi: Guys, stop it with all the fantasy teams.
PSAngi: How does one bring up the topic of whether or not the marriage is open.
PSAngi: Is there anyone out here who wants a frustrated middle aged mother that has frankentits.
Minn Barb Quote: "Is Taylor at her other job?" - Minn Barb
"What's her job?" - Abe
"She's a roadside hooker at Haunted Trails." - Minn Barb
Best Bet of the Week: Tennessee Titans -4 1/2 against the Jacksonville Jaguars
New Head Roadie Alert! Congrats Ralph, Head Roadie of Mold Killers