This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
Because there were a lot of random things discussed on the show today, I picked my personal favorite head scratcher as my lead point for the notes today. You see, if there's one thing you should know about Abe Kanan it is that he absolutely hates feet. In fact, you can catch him at least once (if not more) a week discussing how people who love feet have small junk, are degenerates, probably torture animals, etc. That's why I found it really strange that Angi would have brought up something that is akin to Wikipedia but for people who love feet. The site Wikifeet is filled to the brim with pics of women's feet (that's right, they sure do discriminate and only show the feet of women.) The other thing is most of the feet pic belong to celebrity women as well. Also, all of these women have 5 stars for the most part. The most popular seems to belong to vapid failed law school student Kim Kardashian. I mentioned by the way that for the most part when referring to stars being given stars that all would get a 5 except Miley Cyrus whose ugly little piggies get a sad 4. All this talk of feet basically sent Abe into full on disgust right off the bat. This led to a question of whether or not women are into feet and Angi was seeking input from the roadies on if they were into toes as well. Back to Footasia, the magical land where everyone gets down and dirty to feet. This place seems to not only have a wiki full of celeb feet though but also its own dating platform and a merch store. So if you are a foot lover and are looking to hook up with other fellow toe suckers, get on there and set up a foot bang. Speaking of fooling around with feet, Abe was curious as to what people actually do with feet. Do they constantly have sex with them, jam things between the toes, suck on them, do a feet 69 and smash bananas between them or step on them. I should mention if you want to know things that probably get done with feet, might I suggest the slasher flickThe New York Ripper. Since Abe was busy throwing up and screaming internally the entire time (and probably as he's skimming over this,) let's just get to the calls on the topic. Roadie Cat called to say that she had done research that showed that people who are into feet have issues with their neurons which misfire in the brain. It involves them hitting the same area of the brain that controls the junk and therefore, the mental defection blends the idea of sexual desire with a bunch of toes. Angi finally chimed in after too much time to announce that she would be disgusted if someone she knew liked feet. There also a mention from Abe about doing cocaine off the foot during sex as well. Yeah, this whole topic was just out there and wild. Anyway, Head Roadie Tom called in to say how much he loves feet and reverse cowgirl because it allows an ability to see feet. He said he's not sure why it turns him on but he does love them. This ended on a double wacky note. It started with Angi discussing her love of baby feet as they are so soft and cute. She loves to smell them and stick them in her mouth. Sure, that was weird but her discussion of wanting to eat baby feet was even more ridiculous. As for Abe, he was confused how a baby comes out clean from a mother when she gives birth. This was a lot to unpack overall and definitely worth exploring on the pod.
All the Rest:
On a day where the topics were truly all over the place, the next stop on this morning show tour was bullying. Though we're not talking about being bullied in school but the kind that occurred at home. Angi made a point of wondering if you had been bullied by a sibling growing up or were you the bully perhaps? She made a point of this because people who were bullied by a sibling tend to have mental health problems. The thing though is the person who was doing the bullying actually is worse off when it comes to mental health issues. Angi herself understands this as she's a walking case study for mental health and being messy. Abe explained that he has two brothers, older brother Sam and younger brother Mike. They were all bullies because it makes sense that three boys would torture each other. Abe went on to explain that the way he bullied Mike was by playing the song "Jam" by Michael Jackson. Whenever he brought the tune out, they had set up a basketball net and they would force him to dunk a basketball every time Michael Jackson would say "jam." As he did this, Abe and Sam and their friends Danny Gaga and Joe Gaska would sit there and laugh at him. He basically ruined his life by doing this and to showcase that the trauma had stuck, Abe explained that Mike had sent a video of the incident earlier this week. It then dawned on Angi that Abe plays "Jam" daily during his sports report and it probably has to do with him using it to psychologically torture his brother further. However, Mike was not as innocent as Angi wishes he was because as a kid, Mike apparently would attack his brothers with knives. Abe had to use pillows to avoid the intended stabbing that he honestly probably deserved. On the other hand, Angi was the oldest and never got into all the bullying (she was too busy having lipstick parties and moaning too loud.) Her younger brother Sean though was always smacking around her sister Linda. Once that happened though, the real bully would appear when Angi's mom would open the spoon drawer and her brother would disappear out the door for hours on end. Like this woman would literally break spoons in her rage so yeah, mother monster like daughter. Abe's grandmother was a spoon lady as well, only it was hot spoons on the neck as opposed to being smacked with them. Jess called to attempt to take the proverbial cake by explaining that her brother was a monster that traumatized her. One time, he proceeded to chop off her really long hair in the middle of the night after a fight. He didn't feel bad about the incident at all even though she was left hysterical. Angi suggested that she perhaps punch him in the face each and every time she sees him. Crystal has a sister who is afraid of mice so any time they would catch them in a trap, she would leave them outside her door (still wiggling sometimes.) Angi then added to the animal pile by explaining that her brother Sean knew that Angi's mom was afraid of snacks so he would open books with pages of snakes on them and throw them at her (this made me laugh so hard.) Josh called to tell how his brothers used to shoot him in the face with BB guns and they would force him to drink piss disguised as lemonade. Poor Denise, she was not allowed to have Barbie's because her sister would cut off their feet and hair while forcing her to call them Julie's. I swear, these people are just awful, it's so nuts.
Next up, Halloween is only a few weeks away so the talk turned to pumpkins. In what should have been a PSAngi but instead remained a random message, Angi (and eventually Abe) had a lot to say about them. In particular, this started out with carving and how people should not start chopping them up just yet. First off, they will deflate fast and end up looking like sagging old people. However, it's what we learned from a Massachusetts town that really stood out. It turns out that pumpkins are literally like candy but for rats. In this Mass town, there is a ton of construction going on so the rats have been scattering as of late and are everywhere. So whenever the rats see anything pumpkin related, they will swarm it and it then turns into a rat orgy of eating and sex. Angi explained how she tends to see rats each morning on the way to work and with the addition of pumpkins, it will only be worse. Further exploring the topic of rats, pumpkins and orgies though, it comes down to rats being able to indicate to other rats that once one is found, all the others need to come to it. They chew it up and once they're full, the banging commences. A typical female rat can have up to six liters of baby rats a year so once they get it in, she's going to be popping them out. The problem then is that baby rats can start reproducing at 5 weeks old. God, rats are so awful. Anyway, 2 rats can become 1,000 rats within a year which is why if you were curious as to why there are so many rats in the city. Along with the missed opportunity on Angi's part for a PSAngi, there was a PSAbe buried in his suggestion that all pumpkins should be poisoned. Like forget hiring those coyotes to find and kill them, just let the Kanan empire go out and off them all. Angi said that people should just get plastic pumpkins, they last longer and you don't have to worry about them dying in a week. So since they missed it let's just add them here. PSAngi: Throw your pumpkins away! and PSAbe: Poison all your pumpkins and feed them to the rats.
Finally, White Sox closer Liam Hendricks called in this morning hours ahead of his game in Houston. The first thing he agreed to was that Houston is a total craphole. Well, he didn't use crap and they had to dump it but I think you get the point. That's right,this afternoonis the first game of the playoffs and Angi and Abe are beyond thrilled. With his lovely Australian accent and meh phone line, he went on to reveal and explain a ton of things. He talked about how there is a lack of nervousness in the dugout and it is one of the most enduring factors of the team itself. Like they exist in a very lighthearted place where they can rip on each other and tear one another up/down but it's all in good fun. When pressed for who gets the most crap he revealed that it's basically the rookies who are feeling it most. When Angi asked if his wife was with them, he explained she was back at the hotel and like a good husband, he was out fetching her coffee. Abe then turned the talk to cheating Astro's and how he needs to keep an eye out for them. He said that he had his own issue with tipping while pitching and that it was something his wife had caught and scolded him for. He was annoyed at first but then came to realize she was right (I'm assuming the lesson here is to listen to your woman.) Abe was curious as to why he had chosen the Sox and it was a two fold answer. It began with the players themselves who tended to completely stick out their contracts, symbolizing a team that they want to be with. The other involved traveling which coming and going from Oakland all the time was just awful. There is a toll for constantly being on the road and so that really pushed his decision to want to come here. One really just needs to sacrifice here and there but at the end of the day, it's all about the ultimate goal. They wondered if he considered the idea of being the final man on the mound that wins the world series and he was more pushed into the thought of it by his wife recently. The whole thing is each of them needs to work together in unison to get that ring. Liam then took some calls from roadies including John who asked why he gets so hype while playing. It involves how things used to be, everyone was so stoic and as he grew as a player, he started to show emotion as it allowed him to be himself (good or bad.) Adam pulled a me and simply thanked him and the team for what they do and that they had baseball great again. Lastly, Abe asked if Liam had ever had an incident with a kangaroo. Back in Australia, he lives on the coast and they're rare there. He's seen maybe 4 or 5 and one of those times involved when he picked his wife up from the airport. They drove past one on the road but there was no fear of attack because they only tend to do that when you're getting into their space.
Request Wars 2.0:
Champion: Angi (Streak: 3)
Angi's (repping Michelle) Song Choice: "Awake"
Abe's (repping Brenda) Song Choice: "Toys in the Attic"
Observation:
Abe had another sad case story while Angi's player showed up to throw down. Brenda's story was incredible but I mean the song choice is eh but then again, Godsmack does suck as well. I'm going with Angi/Michelle today as a winning pair. Head Roadie Ferrari called in to defend Abe and clown on Angi hard.
Winner: Angi
10 o'ClockToast:
Liam Hendricks. Called in, he's amazing and got his wife coffee.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
Quote: "I wish there was a baby feet buffet." - Angi
Quote: "Ferrari has big feet and big junk, that's what I heard on the mean streets." - Abe
Quote: "I'm known for eating watermelon." - Abe
PSJay: Parents, keep your kids feet away from that monster Angi Taylor.