This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
So, Ben Affleck and George Clooney have a new movie coming out soon called Tender Bar. Getting these two absolute A listers together should be a recipe for an incredible movie. The thing is though, not all of their roles should be celebrated as some have been absolute trash. I, of course, am referring to each's starring role as Batman in which both took a spin on the character that was less than stellar. I'm obviously being kind here because lets face it, when you consider these two there's plenty to hate. For example, Clooney will forever be known as the Batman who had nipples for some reason. As for Affleck, I honestly never even saw his version of Batman because the movie looked so god awful and DC has a real knack for releasing trash movies. Anyway, the reason this whole thing came up was because the two have something in common which is both playing the best DC character. Here's the thing though, Clooney was so bad at his role that the nipples could be overlooked in favor of how poor the acting was. So bad in fact that he won't even let his wife watch the movie because he's embarrassed. Luckily, he's still vaguely humble enough to admit that he absolutely sucked at the role. That's where the topic spawns from, what is something that you can admit that you suck at? For Abe, his worst trait and sucking comes down to making plans which I can attest, he is god awful at. You see, the moment he knows he has to do something, a countdown forms in Abe's head and it continues to tick away creating this disgusting vortex of gross feelings and desire to avoid human contact. In other words, never ask Abe to do anything because you will probably end up disappointed in the long run. As for Angi, she ironically sucks at keeping plans. Whereas her partner in crime can't get it together leading up to the event, she crashes and burns for the event. For this reason, she finds a perfectly ridiculous excuse to get out of doing anything because she gets anxious just like Abe does. The funny thing is I can understand where both of them are coming from but it doesn't make either of them doing it any less awful. On the phone, Gia explained that she sucks at trying to drive a car in small spaces (which helps explain why her car is covered in scratches and claw marks. Nope, definitely not a werewolf outside the door!) Even with a back up camera, she is still terrible. The other thing that she is bad at is putting on a duvet cover on top of a comforter. The whole thing ends up just looking like an absolute mess when she does it. Angi decided to chime in as well on the subject, complaining how awful putting a fitted sheet on a bed is and even more, how ridiculous impossible folding a fitted sheet is. Maria called to say that she is horrible at health education and explained how she kept getting sidelined along the way. As for Michael, he sucks at getting dressed apparently in a call that was beyond strange. The funny thing was the reality of this topic was the roadies basically sucked at giving answers. As for me, as I love to chime in, I suck at saying "no." Trust me, the amount of things I've gotten into that I regret or hate all stem from not being able to put my foot down enough.
All the Rest:
Obviously today's notes will not be like every other where I'm rambling on and not only expressing what occurred on the show but also adding my two cents while goofing (and expressing confusion) about things Angi and Abe said. It is the one year anniversary of the show and I for one could not be prouder to be part of this insanely wild ride. When the show premiered a year ago, we were smack dab in the middle of a raging pandemic, Angi was drunk all morning and I can barely remember my call ins the next day. Wait a second, did I just describe yesterday? Anyway, it has been a year and we have seen so much. It all started with "Kickstart My Heart" and from that moment on, Rock 95.5 was not the same. Taking two people who barely knew each other, throwing them together in a room and letting the magic happen was the greatest experiment that iHeart could have ever come up with. What would come after that can only be described as utter stupidity and insanity. From the emergence of segments that are staples today (Request Wars, On This Day, Abe's Sports, My Call In's, The 10 O' Clock Toast) to things that died at the right time (The Envelope, 8 O'Clock Call Out, Angi Giving Abe Covid,) we've seen a wide variety of things and with the evolution of the show, more than likely plenty more to come. I will say on a personal note here, I truly do love both of these people more than I can put into words. Abe, who I've known for about 13 years or so now and have been with on every step of the way, is someone who anyone would be lucky to get to experience in this life. Angi, who has become a rock to me and has been there when I needed someone the most, is a literal staple of my life now and one of my favorite people ever. Together, these two bring us madness and insanity each and every morning and without them, we would be stuck listening to two wacky dudes and a lady or like sexual assaulters in the morning featuring a zoo. Sure, the show may hit bumps sometimes and the equipment is literally powered by C batteries but Angi and Abe bring it each morning with a ferocity that only they can. I could ramble on for hours and would if given the chance but let's face it, I feel like I've said enough here as is (you don't want to give the drunk, mentally checked out guy a free pass to talk, trust me.) So to you Angi and Abe, from myself and all the roadies, happy 1 year anniversary and I hope we get to spend many more years together. Cheers guys.
Normally I get a hodgepodge topic going on a Monday because there tends to be a strung together train of ideas that appear one after the other that fit but aren't on the same timeline because of a long weekend. Today might be Tuesday but due to the special circumstances of today's show, I technically have one. This one started with Angi complimenting Abe, calling him the second funniest person she knows. The first is obviously her, she's known to be a real laugh riot or so I've heard. This then led into a discussion of the murder spree Angi would go on if Jay the Straight came home and said another woman was funny. Saying she's hot doesn't matter but funny means Angi is getting out the blades. Next up, Angi gave off a quick point of the most repeated words by any band. For example, Bon Jovi says "love" the most though Abe assumed it was "cowboy" or "horse." Metallica's most repeated word is "never." As for this show, apparently the number 1 most repeated word is "bush" though I would dispute that and say that the reality is something like "idiots," "chainsaw," or "Jack Daniels." Turning the wheel once again, a discussion on the one year anniversary of the show came up. Angi compared it to dating Abe for a year and he has yet to ask her to move in. I don't understand why she's complaining because Abe has been with his girlfriend for six years and he won't even let her come over. He did however offer Angi a basket on the toilet tank in The Ivory Tower but you know, she's a woman so of course she wants more. Lastly, yanking the dial another notch over for a final time in this word salad mess, Angi was seeking out more Day 1er's. Ironically, most of the people who ended up calling did not fit that criteria but whatever. Before answering calls, Angi gave a quick backstory about how the show started during the pandemic and a month in, Angi gave Abe covid. She assumed her coughing fits were caused by almonds but it was really covid. A what if? style scenario unfolded after Angi imagined if she had killed Abe. Would she have moved on, of course she would have and the show would be co-hosted with Eric Ferguson (he would definitely give you that long needed backrub Angi.) As they celebrated and drank in the studio, a few more calls were answered. First there was Mike Myers, who called between murders to say hi. Chris called and has been here since the station came to life and was a big sausage winner two weeks ago. Head Roadie Trashman Tim called in to tell a terrible dad joke that was so bad, Angi asked him to never call in again. Ralph called to say he was a total 1st dayer. Scott called in while driving to Ohio and was told to avoid Urban Meyer. This was followed by Ernesto, who called from Florida and has been listening since after the first month.
Finally, it's Gay Drunk Tuesday which means the best roadie on the show Big Cat called in. Today was a special edition of his weekly check in as he was on vacation and getting drunk in Vegas. He called from outside a casino where it was currently pouring rain. Abe was thrilled about the rain as he expected it to fill up the water holes (what?) Also with Big Cat in Vegas was Mrs. Big Cat who we got to hear from for the first time. I should also mention in accordance to last week's messy insanity, we got an official weigh in of Big Cat currently at 227. The duo were currently winning a little in Vegas and so Angi expected a gift to be brought back for her. As for the most important point of the call, Big Cat had 17 beers and 3 shots of Tito's so far today. The reason for the vodka shots had to do with the bartender he had being from Chicago. He also has diabetes so apparently vodka is good for him or something. As for Mrs. Big Cat, she only seems to enjoy tequila. Go on with your bad self Big Cat, hope you end up winning a ton.
Request Wars 2.0:
Champion: Angi (Streak: 1)
Angi's (repping Val) Song Choice: "Ain't Talkin' Bout Love"
Abe's (repping Liam) Song Choice: "Dance the Night Away"
Observation:
Jesus Christ, the story Abe came up with this morning for Liam, who's 60+ year old parents who wanted to live long enough to have a cigarette with him. The story was so bad, Angi begged everyone to vote for Abe because this was the greatest thing Abe has ever come up with. Oh and the Val that Angi is playing with is Valerie Bertnelli. Either way someone wins.
Winner: Angi
10 o'Clock Toast:
Angi and Abe. It is the 1 year anniversary of the show and the boss was there to toast them.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
Quote: "I've been asked once a month my whole life (for my urine)" - Abe
Quote: "I saw an a-hole, which is hilarious to me." - Abe
PSAbe: If you sue people all the time, you're a scumbag.
PSAngi: If you have sex in a 2014 Hyundai Genesis, expect to get something.