This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
So somehow the weekend literally flew right past us and we are back for a fresh new week ... lucky us. You know who wasn't lucky after yesterday, anyone who considers themselves a Bear fan because as expected, the team was garbage as always. Well, actually the garbage portion came later in the game because the team is so invested in getting our hopes up and then falling apart as always. So for Abe, this was an absolute curse of course, because he found himself invested in the game. Like he was excited, he was chanting "We Are Number 1," he was texting his boy The Red Rooster during commercial breaks telling him how much he loved him. Gee, that all fell off a cliff relatively quickly when everything went the way one should expect it to at this point. Our offensive line sucks, The Red Rocket is an absolute dud. Basically, the Bears are exactly what we should expect from the team, which is not a whole lot. Still, we get our hopes up year after year because we are gluttons for punishment. Anyway, dude to the built up excitement, Abe had trouble falling asleep. I should also note that when the game ended, Abe tore up his autographed poster of The Red Rifle and put his texts from him on silent. Angi and Abe went on to perfectly sum up things quite nicely next. The game was atrocious, The Red Rupple sucks, our entire division is absolutely trash. It was kind of funny to see Abe turn so quick on The Red Robin when he spent all last week stanning him and talking him up as if he was the next coming of Christ (albeit one with fiery ginger hair and a beard that allowed him to be thirst worthy for ten seconds because realizing that he's just a messy bitch under it.) They were not done yet as they continue to rail against the NFL for the hell of it. Every team sucks, our team sucks, everything is just absolutely awful. The question then turned to next week, which will be a revenge game for The Red Railing and they really hope it doesn't turn into some gross grudge match type mess. Regardless, the whole thing will probably be awful and so I'm sure that we will hear all about it again just like this come next Monday (lucky us.) Not to pass his moment to get on and discuss his weekend and birthday, Head Roadie Trashman Tim checked in to discuss his time. You see, it was a great weekend full of pre birthday shenanigans and fun which then got ruined by that mess of a Bears game. However, Trashman Tim wasn't only here to get birthday love showered on him today, which there was a ton of btw but also so he could drop enough plugs in 30 seconds that man must be making bank. As for myself, I couldn't be bothered to tune in to see The Red Baron make a fool of us so I was busy watching season 2 of the showSlasheron Netflix (totally great btw.) However, the rest of my family watched the game and gave the same response that Angi and Abe did and I'm sure the rest of the city felt. Either way, let's not let all this mess distract us from Abe's Best Bet of the Week, which hit and means we're going to hear about it all season now. Hopefully you made some extra paper listening to him because you'll need it for all those weeks when it becomes the Worst Bet of the Week and Abe comes up with more excuses than he does for trying to salvage a Request Wars win.
All the Rest:
So in the, "people who will come to your house and drop stuff up/pick stuff up list," it seems Angi is better than Abe. For those keeping track, yes, Abe has still not picked up his birthday gift that is now sitting on the top of my fridge. Anyway, Angi's friend wanted to borrow a dress over the weekend. Being the good friend she is (and because she lives in the neighborhood,) she popped over to drop it off and of course, talk mad ish in the kitchen with her. You should know how it is with Angi (and by that extension Abe as well.) Once the mics are off or the cameras aren't rolling, she's running her mouth and smack talking everyone and everything. It's the most hateful stuff you can imagine and to her horror, she might have been found out this weekend. See, as she was sitting and talking, throwing people under the bus, burning bridges and being a monster in general, the talk turned to the friend's husband. As she started to say something shady about her spouse, she suddenly clammed up. It turns out that the house is wired for sound and filled to the brim with cameras. They're meant to keep an eye on the babysitter but for whatever reason, they never seem to turn them off after. So this led to the topic on hand but also a fierce debate from Abe. It should be noted by the way, if Angi and Abe's studio chats (or even the text thread I have going with them ever leaked,) they would more than likely be arrested. Anyway, Abe started ranting that people need to be told that they are being filmed, like it's apparently against his rules and it made him irrationally angry. He went even further after considering that the cameras were there just for the babysitter, saying to never babysit anyone. The general point believed by both is that people should be told that there are cameras and filming going on and doing it without consent, regardless of the situation, is amoral and flat out wrong. In fact, there are cameras in the studio (done for social media and interviews) and the pair always make sure they are off once they enter each morning. Angi had an experience once with someone filming all that she did. She was staying at an AirBnB in Miami with friends and there were cameras everywhere, including in the bathroom. Now this is where we hit the slippery slope because Abe is against nanny cam's and Angi is apparently against being spied on by a creepy home owner. Regardless, Angi was absolutely enraged (and rightfully so,) when she discovered the camera usage. Back to the problem at hand though, there is now video and audio of Angi talking smack. She was absolutely furious about this and needed to get it off her chest because it is Monday after all so you know, double the frustration. Her PSAngi went something along the lines of "if you have a camera in your house, let your guests know or turn them off." Abe capped this off by explaining that this was how the Hulk Hogan sex tape got out. He decided to bang a pig and in turn, a camera in the bedroom leaked it but at the same time, it also made him a super millionaire and removed Gawker from the world. Regardless, unless there's a valid reason for having it, you don't need cameras in your bedroom or bathroom.
If you remember last week, Angi was discussing watching that "shocking" Bob Ross documentary, mainly because she wanted to learn what he was hiding. It turns out that it wasn't much and that the shocking reality was he was being ripped off. So before getting on with the question, Angi talked about how Bob Ross loved Alaska. In fact, he proclaimed it as "God had a good day when he made Alaska." Of course, Abe chimed in that Alaska sucks because it's cold and it's not Vegas (or something along those lines.) We've already learned Abe irrationally hates everything so this was nothing new really. The quote though gave Angi a fun thought that would translate into a good topic. If God made Alaska on a good day, what did he end up making on a bad day. Things like the Kardashians, traffic, the Packers, Andy Dalton and obviously covid. For Angi, her answer was spiders. They are spooky, creepy and of course, she's still traumatized from that morning a few months ago when she walked into a spiderweb in her yard in the dark. It should be noted though that on this show we love and stan Charlotte from Charlotte's Web for some reason. Oh, add rats to Angi's list as well, those big festering disgusting monsters who make walking around downtown seem like a nightmare. Abe didn't have one in particular on his list but was in equal agreement with Angi about Florida definitely being on that list (can I add Texas as well?) On the phone, Head Roadie Glenn said 79th street. Apparently that's where you will find the ugliest crackheads and no BBW's (he is our Head Roadie of BBW's so this makes sense.) Mike said Louisiana. The entire state is below sea level basically and is always underwater. Just give it a handful of more years and Florida, New York and other places will be joining that luxurious feat. Head Roadie Dave said females who don't do 69 (much like Glenn, Dave is the Head Roadie of 69 so his answer made sense.) Big Tuna called in to denounce Scorpions (today's Request Wars winner) and the song "Sister Christian," because that rock is just too soft for our hard rocking needs. Mike said Joliet is an absolute toilet (he's not wrong btw) and it's just an absolute ghetto hellhole. He's from Westmont which is apparently slightly better than Joliet so that's something. Nick called in to say Indiana belongs in that prestigious hate list (I agree 100%) but Angi felt compelled to defend it. He explained his dislike comes from the fact that the moment you cross the border and are hit with the smell of fermented corn and failure. Angi isn't disgusted by it like Nick but she is afraid of it. You see, when she gets around those "big wind energy spinny things," she has an assumption in her mind that theChildren of the Cornare going to come running out and get her. Something tells me we just found a new Don't Kill Angi scenario for Halloween week.
Finally, Angi decided that we needed to address and discuss a phone scam. No, not the kind that Abe was known for doing for years before he arrived at 95.5. In this one, an out of work model was convinced to shave her head and eyebrows by a scammer. Now normally, this would be hilarious to me because "I'm a model" is such an annoying line that gets tossed around too much. However, this woman was literally tricked into thinking it was pretty legit. If you're wondering if she made an effort before making such a bold choice, she actually did some research. The caller said that they were with Redkin and that they would pay her for shaving her hair. The more hair that went, the more she would make. She looked it up and Googled the number which made this whole mess seem legit. Angi btw called BS on her doing this and felt that this woman was probably dumb and jumped right on it. Through her various forms of research, Redkin did show the number was associated with it and so she went for it. She ended up shaving her head and eyebrows on video but when she called the number it was disconnected. Angi wondered how many people have been or are scammed by things like this. Abe explained that his friend's mom was scammed out of thousands of dollars by a Nigerian prince. Another was an old man he knows who was 80 when it occurred. People came to his house saying they were ComED. The man could barely walk and accompanied the guy to the basement for the meters and while he did, his partner came in and cleaned out the house. Think about all these people who randomly come into your house and vice versa. Plumbers, cable, electricians, it could go either way sometimes honestly. Lest we also forget the time that Abe went to get a dishwasher off Craigslist and he was almost assaulted by a man with a claw grabber. Angi explained how Jay the Straight's mom was a meter reader and back in the day, where she lived, they would lock her in the basement. It was absolutely crazy, they would just mess with her and just be awful. They should be carrying guns or tasers according to Abe and honestly, I'm shocked if they don't. As for my foray into being stupid, I remember being a stupid teenager and wanting a work from home job that a friend and I both sent some scammer $25 bucks to. That's what we get for believing ads in a local paper but it's all good now because I just don't trust anyone anymore now!
Request Wars 2.0:
Champion: Angi (Streak: 1)
Angi's (repping Michelle) Song Choice: "Still Loving You"
Abe's (repping Ian) Song Choice: "Painkiller"
Observation: Ian was too busy partying after winning Abe's Best Bet of the Week and using a song I've won Request Wars with to show up but Michelle came prepared. While Abe basically talked about how great he was, Angi and Michelle tried but let's face it, I'm biased here cause the "Painkiller" is an incredible song.
Winner: Angi
10 o'Clock Toast:
The Liquor Store Angi Fell In. She slipped on a puddle of water/urine in their store buying Jack at 11 A.M. and bruised her arm up something fierce. No she wasn't drunk, yes she does fall everywhere all the time.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
Quote: "Hey, there's someone out there who wants to bang your wife or girlfriend." - Abe.
Quote: "There's nothing better than you (Abe) kissing your own ass for 5 minutes, it's the best." - Abe
Best Bet of the Week (Week 1 Results): Abe Wins!