This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
Every day on this show, I feel like we're always attacking someone for the sake. This isn't necessarily a bad thing and in my mind, it makes for great radio. If it isn't Todd the A-Hole or Angi/Abe taking a verbal beating, you know well enough that some other loser will be filling the coveted role of show punching bag. Today, the honor belonged to some crazy girl, a no name, faceless idiot who went just a step too far (as most insane people do.) So, Angi's guy friend started dating (and laying with) this girl. It took a few months of this for him to realize that she might be nuts (or highly insecure if you want my opinion on this mess.) Fairly recently, she started to ask him for the passwords to his social media and his phone. Overlooking the obvious red flag of asking for things that you should have no right to be getting into, Angi had a few things to say here. First off, she explained that you honestly should never be asking for that stuff. Abe took it one step further and said you should never give that stuff out at all. Angi questioned as to why one would give it out to begin with and then explained how doing such goes forth to set a bad precedent. Doing things like this will eventually lead you to becoming the type of couple who shares a Facebook page (which is disgusting.) With all this out of the way, it led to a question from Angi. When was the moment you realized that that someone you are dating was crazy? Angi's example came from a clearly concerned boyfriend who she had been living with at the time. She had known prior that he was slightly crazy but she overlooked it because you know, she's a little crazy herself. One day, she went to the gym and when she came home, she found him attempting to upload spyware to her computer. When she walked in, he quickly closed it but when she opened it, she found it half installed. His reasoning was incredible and by that I mean stupid. Apparently, she was working with a new guy and he assumed that she was rutting around with him behind a dumpster. Needless to say, Angi dumped him immediately afterward because you know, she's smart. Roadie Isabelle checked in and explained that she knew she was dating a guy who went to Comic Con conventions. However, her last straw came when she went to a family gathering and he got into a lightsaber fight. She came to find out that he does that each year. Stacy had tickets to one of the last Cubs games before the World Series. Within the first month of dating her creepy loser, he began to insist that she take him to the game instead of her mother because after all "it's just a baseball game." She ended up not taking him and he proceeded to text her relentlessly during the game. She tossed him to the curb right afterward. Britney was in a car with her dork when they were pulled over by the cops who recognized him and they proceeded to search her because she was dating him. Let's just say that she was no longer dating him shortly after that.
All the Rest:
It was, what I consider, a very Abe centric morning on the show today with most of the discussion centering around things he did. For example, we began the day discussing his iHeart fantasy league draft, for which he had the first pick (which you would have learned from his screaming excitement on yesterday's show.) However, if you thought the madness of hearing Abe ramble on about his fantasy leagues was over (since this is the second one,) you are unfortunately mistaken. You see, he has yet another draft tomorrow and one more on Sunday night. That's right, four fantasy football teams under Abe's belt, I think I understand now why he still has yet to come and pick up his birthday gift. It should be noted that three of these leagues are chump change type things, like a $100 bucks and nothing too crazy. However, it is the main league where the eyeballs start to pop out of your head when considering the spend. That one costs $800 and so his grand total in league spending hits roughly a bit more than $1,000 overall. See, much like every gambling addict I've ever known, Abe is compulsively triggered by the allure of a win. When he won his big money league two years ago, he got $4,000. For this reason, he needs to throw money at the chance of making it happen again. Angi went on to remind everyone of the time he lost a dollar to the Cheeto machine and three dollars on the Coke machine. Like the meltdown freakout he had during this was quite legendary and yet he had no issue tossing $800 down the toilet for the sake. Abe explained that he saw the vending guy and he was offered everything in the machine for his troubles but he told him not to worry about it. You see, Abe is a gentleman and a scholar. Btw, if you want to hear his entire drafted team (which he went over during his #1 sports segment,) check out the podcast. On to other big Abe news fresh out this morning, he seemingly had himself a little party last night it seems. He made 7 elote, cooked on his grill, smothered in mayo, cheese, elote seasoning and then thrown into a bowl. He took it all out to his balcony where he proceeded to eat the entire bowl alone in the dark while sitting in his Christopher Knight (aka Peter Brady) brand rocking chair. That chair btw is literally sold out everywhere because it was featured in that Oprah interview with Hot Prince Ginge and that bitch wife of his. If you want to see the video of this btw, check out all Abe's socials. Anyway, Abe literally apparently doesn't own a pot to piss in and so he had to borrow all of the stuff (outside of the corn) from his brother Sam (who lives in Abe's building.) Mind you, he owns cookware and the like but it's all still packed because even though he technically moved into The Ivory Tower in February, he has yet to unpack. I should add that Angi is not innocent on this front as well as when she moved to Philly, she still had not fully unpacked a year after being there. Lucky for Abe, he does not allow any visitors into The Ivory Tower because after that disgusting display of gluttony, he is going to be living on and destroying the Angi Taylor Memorial Toilet for the next week. What a life this man leads, we could only be so lucky to follow in his example.
Next up, a great mystery and intrigue overtook Angi at the end of yesterday's show. In case you missed the toast, she had somehow become aware of The Chicago Egg Hunters, a group of sleuths based around the city that were using a combination of Facebook and Reddit to solve a mystery. For the last year or so, someone was driving around the city in a white truck and just throwing eggs at people. As hilariously stupid as this sounds, it occured 86 times and people were starting to get fed up. Funny enough, this was a topic I myself had vaguely dabbled in but it was more of a notice it, make a list of places not to go and then move on with my life type of thing. These dedicated people also made a list that contained an entry on each place the egg bandit struck. The network was vast and they had an entire map drawn up as well, which helped them to discover a route and other junior detective points. Angi was absolutely loving this and went as far as to ask members of the group to check in on the show. It finally seemed we would have a white round whale to chase for a while, which is amazing. As usual though, we can't have nice things ever and after first reporting the story yesterday, it turns out that the culprit was finally caught yesterday afternoon (seems fitting for this show.) The egg slinging bandit turned out to be a driver for Value Furniture (and I'm assuming the truck belonged to them as well.) Once the company discovered the shenanigans, they promptly fired the driver. With that fun now dead and buried, Angi turned her frustration toward another Facebook group. This one involved her neighborhood, the Ukranian Village and all the Karen's who apparently live in it. There's posts about wayward Cheeto bags, a single found shoe and other irrelevant topics that only people who have too much time on their hands would post. Abe happens to have not one but two of these types of groups to deal with. There's one for his neighborhood, The West Loop and another for his actual building that he lives in. After going over what a nightmare it is to deal with people, Angi returned to her original point. The Chicago Egg Hunters now have nothing to do since the mystery is solved. This pushed her to give out a new plan for the group, becoming vigilantes, like Batman! They can go forth and use their collective knowledge to broaden their horizon. Think of the power of keyboard warriors and how they can solve carjackings, people doing beatings and just why Bane needs all that plastic explosive under Lower Wacker. Either way, Angi's spirit has been infused and she's looking to become affiliated with them, which I'm sure will cease the moment she realizes that she'll need to do more work.
Finally, in what I consider Angi's into the overall dragging of men today, she told us about a woman named Lena. Though the story is more focused on her brother who came to her to explain the reasons why women don't want to date him. He gave a fantastic list which I'm providing below.
"I'm too much of a nice guy." RED FLAG WARNING. Sure, women do like themselves a bad boy when they're young but it switches to nice guys when they're older. The thing is that they want a little bit of both, like a nice guy with a built in edge. Someone like, I don't know, ummm, Abe!
"He's too much of a nerd" He has nerdy habits but like they are excessive. Forever suffering Jay the Straight got dragged for going to sports conventions for autographs. I should add at least Jay the Straight is a nice guy with an edge though.
"I'm broke and all women are gold diggers." Self explanatory here.
"I'm unattractive, I'm not the hottest guy in the room." Look dork, looks aren't everything and that's the truth. Girls don't care if you're completely ripped (hell, I love me some dad bod too.) You can go to White Castle, eat up a Crave Crate and it will be okay as long as you carry yourself with swag and confidence.
"I do too much for women and it never pays off." You're good enough, we love you, we respect you. It was with that statement, I finally realized Angi hates men.
Request Wars 2.0:
Champion: Abe (Streak: 1)
Angi's (repping Wes) Song Choice: "Freak on a Leash"
Abe's (repping Katie) Song Choice: "Remember"
Observation: Today's a hard one, we have a "mother on the edge" vs a "vet." To help push along the voting, Abe reminded us that KoЯn hate Chicago and steal from us. Angi countered by reminding us Disturbed was on the Dave Matthews crap dumping bus. Such choices with great examples, I can't imagine who will win.
Winner: Angi
10 o' Clock Toast:
Nandi Bushell. Drink up a glass of milk for all that she's done and then pour one out because she's overexposed and Angi is sick of her.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
"When I get the flu I love it cause I lose weight." - Abe
"I know kids who had rainbow parties at 13, things aren't working out well." - Abe