This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
Today was the day and believe me, it was a big one in terms of celebrity gets. CM Punk made one of his few media appearances on the show this morning and there was a lot to go through. Given that this was probably the longest interview on the show to date, my unedited notes are ridiculously long. Before we got into it though, Abe had a lot to say about his best friend CM Punk. In fact, Abe was at WWE for Punk's very first match, he was also there for his MITB championship win and of course, he was there for his AEW debut. We should also remember that Abe went viral on social media for his CM Punk ice cream bar post. After Abe gave himself a nice breath spray spritzing because he wanted to be at his best (for a phone call mind you,) we were off and running into a really fun chat. Punk was calling in to promote The Summer of Punk, which has three stops here in Chicago over the rest of the week. It starts tomorrow withDynamite, followed byRampageon Friday and theAll OutPPV on Sunday. This will also be his first match in 7 years so there is a lot to look forward to. After a "Ruby Soho" introduction, the questions came forth with interested intent. They first wanted to know about the moment he walked out, how it felt, did he freak out? Punk's response was there were plenty of nerves and freak out but for him, it's like riding a bike. Sure there's going to be doubt in his mind and a wonder of whether they'll react well or if they would throw trash and banana peels at him. Much like everyone, you want everyone to like you but you also end up coming to terms with the idea that not everyone will. This allows for the development of a tough skin though and he allows himself to be disliked if need be. However, when the music hit, all that fear and doubt was washed away. Abe discussed how he had been at all the milestone (in his mind) Punk events and said thatRampagewas clearly the best. In that, Abe wanted to know if Punk agreed that it was his greatest moment? He did feel that way because in a sense, he feels like he won because he did things on his own terms. There was no compromise on his part, which is admirable for anyone with a long career like his. Abe was curious as to how the ice cream giveaway came about and the explanation was quite interesting. It turns out that Punk is a huge fan of Andy Kaufman and after his shows, he used to give away milk & cookies. Punk sees him as the greatest entertainer of all time and so he wanted to blur the lines and take a page from his book. This way, much like Kaufman did with his wild bits and stunts, you found yourself questioning as to whether what occurred was real or just wrasslin. Back to the ice cream, it made sense to push it because when he used to do Q&A's, he would buy the interviewers pizza and doughnuts. For him, the ice cream represented creative idea freedom, a chance to do something that the WWE wouldn't do so he did it himself. Mind you, he had been asked to come back for years but willingly chose not to so the ice cream give away was like an expensive full circle moment. They wondered if it was nice to come back and do things on his own terms. His response was that he would never compromise himself and at the same time, he doesn't feel the need to constantly mention WWE. This was primarily due to knowing some variation of clickbait would come from his out of context quotes. He's not here to sling mud and would prefer that he highlights the positives of AEW. Abe had to bring up how Punk called him out during the scrum interview and how happy it made him. He also mentioned how he had interviewed him the night before his massive MITB win. Punk feels that there's a comfort as a celebrity in knowing the person that is part of the press. Tying back to the clickbait point, some people have an agenda but he's become great at deflecting. However, for him Abe was a friendly name and so he greeted him as such. In what could be the most interesting question of the interview, Abe wondered if he would have been happy wrestling 5 years ago. Punk explained that wasn't a reality because AEW didn't exist then and WWE was never on the table for a return. In fact, the only reason he came back was because he saw AEW as something special. Hell, he sold out the United Center on a rumor alone and that is not something just anyone could do. Punk is humble and really wants to keep the momentum of AEW going while also shining the light on talent in the company. They took a few listener questions and we're just going to overlook my glowing call in because I feel stupid (plus I'm in a weird place mentally right now.) Ian called to say that he was a fan and wondered about his biggest moment backstage before he hit the curtain. Punk said talking to Thunder Rosa really pumped him up and changed him from nervous wreck to emotional mess to ready to go. Matt called asking Punk about his time onThe Bozo Show. He was somewhere between 8 and 10 and he played a hot potato type game with derby hats. He definitely cheated on live TV but it did lead to a win (which included a Crayola Bubble Gum shampoo and the board game Don't Wake the Dragon.) This was such a hot ticket back then that his parents had to put in a request 10 years prior just to get him on there. Angi finally chimed in to discuss how she thoughtHeels, his wrestling based show on Starz, was some type of drag queen show. She was curious as to if it's something he loves doing. He does because it's a love letter to wrestling. It turns out that the guy who writes forHeelsalso wrote forLokiand is currently writing aStar Warstreatment. The show is about human beings, family and relationships and how they interact within the wrestling world. It's all very meta and his character Ricky Rabies is fun to play. Lastly, they said that he needs to do a show on Rock 95.5. Though Punk can't promise that it will happen, it is something he would be open to.
All the Rest:
So this morning became another documentation piece in the life and times of Angi Taylor's body failing her. As usual, we didn't get to it right off the bat because there was a much more pressing discussion about Abe's forgotten Yeti thermos that still held ice after 24 hours. I'm including this point as well as the discussion about lukewarm liver sausage sandwiches, sloppy joes and gravy slop because I feel like there will be a tie in to what eventually comes from the discussion. Anyway, Angi began a discussion about how her eyeball almost fell out of her head. Obviously, she's not being exactly serious as if that occurred, I'd be referring to her as "that pirate Patches Taylor." However, it was enough of an issue that she had to go to urgent care yesterday. What she ended up discovering while there is that there are scratches all over her cornea. This is something that can happen apparently from just opening your eyes (but it probably doesn't help that she sleeps face down in her pillow.) Anyway, add go see the eye doctor to her list of things that she now has to take care of. Basically, Angi has been held together by duct tape and a prayer for the last handful of years and it's finally starting to come undone. Between her gimp t-rex arm, her newly patched together frankentits and now her droopy eye that is filled with random scratches. According to Abe, Angi is basically a lemon but if we learned anything yesterday, I think calling her a potato would be more fitting. Back to her Bill Cosby droopy eye though, Abe assumed the culprit was covid. After all, she did have covid back in November (which she gave to Abe and is something he holds over her all the time.) Abe then assumed that maybe the dog is jumping on her eyeball (yeah, just go with it.) However, it was Angi's notion where things really came undone. She began to wonder if perhaps a spider has crawled inside her eye and is making it's home inside that empty early onset cavern. Abe suggested that perhaps she take a lighter to her eyeball to coax the spider out. This works with dirty ass worms after all so why wouldn't it with the eyeball spider. There was a detour (as there tends to be on this show) about old superstitions that will probably be a topic later this week (if Angi doesn't forget.) Anyway, back to dirty as worms we went and a question of what would happen if you accidentally farted while you were attempting to lure the ass worms out (yeah, things just got weird and vile.) Abe assumed btw that when the worms come out of your ass, you need to scoop them out. I don't know exactly where or how Abe got the idea that worms exist in these massive clumps and how you're going to grab onto them like you're scooping up like a pile of sand or something. I should mention btw that they are talking about those tiny worms not like fun tape worms that make you oh so skinny or the kind that your dog gets. Either way, this topic was wild and was the perfect out the window way to really start the day proper.
From butt worms to butt worn, the next topic was a perfect pairing for what we just came out of. So, for reasons which I'm sure are revolting and disgusting, a pair of Michael Jordan's worn underwear are going up for sale soon. At a starting bid of $500, you can get your grubby hands on some grundy undies that are well worn and unwashed (brb, I'm going to go vomit.) It should be noted that the underwear are from his own signature Jordan brand and not some junky trash like Hanes. Remember guys, this is Michael Jordan we're talking about and he's not going to be wearing trash underwear unless he's getting paid. However, knowing that someone is going to drop a ton of money on this stupid (and disgusting) buy, Angi had a question for the roadies. What is something that you've spent a huge amount o money on that was absolutely stupid? Though all the treasures in Angi's trove are worthwhile (including a ton of Prince memorabilia on her end and boxing stuff for Jay the Straight,) she knows a guy who bought some really ridiculous stuff. For example, he paid an absolute ton for Lee Harvey Oswald's toe tag. Though I don't embrace Abe Kondo's minimalist lifestyle, I can't see the need to own junk like that. This dude also bought Bob Barker's stick microphone from The Price Is Right, which again, seems like something that you're wasting money on if you just happen to have too much of it. Roadie Adriana called in with her child crying in the background. It wasn't anything to be concerned about, they had just fallen and wanted attention (mother of the year contender come through!) Abe added how he sees kids who would bang their heads all the time against the walls at restaurants (I want to eat where he does, it sounds wild.) Anyway, she buys warranties all the time, including one for a FitBit recently. This led to Abe, for whatever reason, discussing how Target will take back literally anything. Have a house full of smoke detectors, unplug them and bring them to Target for some cash money honey. The return brought us a trip down Abe's memory lane as well as he discussed the time as kids that his brother Sam bought a Weird Al Yankovic box set. It was like $40 bucks and he regretted it every second he owned it. Abe, the smart one for once, bought a Led Zeppelin box set. Disgusted, Sam tried to sneak off secretly several times to unload the boxset and finally was able to on a fourth/fifth try. With it gone out of his life, he was finally able to talk about how much he hated it.
Finally, we are in the midst of fantasy football hell and if you weren't convinced prior, Abe's breaking news should have cemented that fact. That breaking news by the way is that Abe has the first pick in the iHeart fantasy football league. With that now in his rotation, Abe is up to being in 4 different leagues. Poor Cathy Tropicana, much like Angi, will now be known as a fantasy football widow while the season chugs along. Oh yeah, I guess I should add that Jay the Straight is a huge fantasy football guy as well (for my own shared experience, the recently deceased best friend roommate was also a huge fantasy player.) Anyway, since we're discussing fantasy, Angi wanted to dig deep into some fantasy football team names, as they always seem to be clever and hilarious. For example, Jay the Straight has The Jolly Stompers, which is a reference to Mike Tyson's street gang. His other league name is The Stucci Brothers, which comes fromWhite Men Can't Jump. As for Abe, he's referred to as The People's Champ in his big money league, which he won once three years ago and then proceeded to lose the last two. Other examples of hilarious fun names include Dude Looks Like A Brady, Gronky Kong, Weinstein's Walker, Farve Dollar FootLong, Odom's Crack Pipe and Bill Cosby's Droopy Eye. On the phones, Olivia's boyfriend's team name is The 69 Boys. It should be added that he also has 69 in his email (this guy seems like a real winner.) Then again, half of the listeners have 69 in their email and also use hotmail for some reason. Pat's team is called Grin and Bearit. Head Roadie Angel's team is Monica Loves Clinton-Dicks. Dan's team is Suck My Ditka. Tim's team is Touchdown My Pants. Head Roadie Tom's team is Show Me Your TD's. Head Roadie Dave's is 68+1, I Owe You One. Ryan fronts The Spread Eagles. Lastly, Ben has Obi Wan Mahombi.
Request Wars 2.0:
Champion: Angi (Streak: 1)
Angi's (repping Sandy) Song Choice: "Same Ol' Situation"
Abe's (repping Natalie) Song Choice: "Rocket Queen"
Observation: Poor Natalie is dealing with some real hardships, let me tell you. Angi and Sandy teamed up and showed no mercy to the poor girl who was dying, disgusting people the both of them are. Abe gave it his all but Angi is a monster so you know.
Winner: Angi
10 o' Clock Toast:
CM Punk. He was a great guest who gave a very comfortable, long interview.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
Quote: "I just noticed I do stories about booze expansion every day." - Angi
Quote: "I'm known for making people comfortable." - Abe