This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
Oh god finally, we have arrived at the last weekend of August and today was nuts. First off, it was Chain(saw) Ye Friday and it was definitely one for the books. That's right, last night was the Kanye West hate rally that was disguised as a listening party for his album Donda that is never coming out. He was hours late as expected and for that reason, Angi did not really have a chance to sleep. I mean, there was a nice dumpster that she could have crashed behind but instead she chose to go home. Valuing the roadies over sleep (as she hasn't slept since 3 A.M. yesterday,) she had an hour to take a shower and grab her laptop so she could head to the studio. The shower was essential because Kanye did not come alone to his rally. He brought a bevy of special guests including Marilyn Manson, DaHomophobe, Kim Kardashian in a wedding dress, Bill Cosby, Harvey Weinstein (which explains why Angi needed that shower, she was in the splash zone,) The Taliban, R. Kelly and a handful of others (check out the podcast to hear the whole list.) After the hour and a half show was finally closing, Kanye fulfilled many of our wishes and set himself and his replica childhood home on fire. Angi remained sober the whole time which makes sense because with that many creeps in a dark stadium, you need to remain on guard at all times. Notice how I said the stadium btw, when she gets in the studio and near a bottle of Jack, all bets are off. She did say that she enjoyed the show and it was worth missing out on all that precious sleep. You see, Angi loves a good spectacle and this was one of those things that you had to be there for to tell people you watched Kanye unleash a gaggle of deplorables out into the night as he hung from a burning cross on his childhood lawn. Sure, she was tired as hell and there was a good chance of a crash and burn spectacle but she came prepared. A few lines and some Dunkin perked her right up, thank god this show is sponsored by coffee and shady drug dealers. Into the weekend we go with plenty of rock and roll!
All the Rest:
In a day full of interesting topics and Angi not being able to remember anything, there was a topic flip that led to an interesting insight into how Angi and Abe think. It began with Angi discussing concerts and how Abe has basically seen every touring artist ever. He went on to explain that from like 13 to 18, he went to concerts every weekend. Angi accused him of being rich, which speaks to the poor person in me but he explained that it wasn't wealth but Walmart money that catapulted him into shows all the time. When he turned 19 though, that's when he started working in radio and he would go see more shows because of that. Unlike 95.5, other stations would give Abe tickets to shows and not force him and his co-host to stay home during things like the Hella Mega Tour. Anyway, all of this reminded Angi of a story she read. It was about a mother named Tiffany with 4 kids who quit her job because she makes $1,000 a week dumpster diving. She's not some kind of trash picker in the sense of garbage stores but hits quality commercial place bins like Victoria Secret, Bed Bath & Beyond and Party City. The thing is these places throw out a ton of loot, including brand new things and stuff that is returned. Most is written off as loss and can't be sold so they chuck it without a second thought. Tiffany finds anything viable that can be sold, grabs it and then proceeds to unload it and makes a comfortable living apparently. Abe was curious what she wears during these dumpster dives, like a hazmat suit? I probably should add that this is the second time I've heard Abe mention hazmat suits this week which makes me wonder if he has stock in a company. The topic seemed to be shocking jobs to make money but that sort of wandered off to die. Abe then chimed in that he knows a guy who goes to garage sales and then sells his finds on Facebook's marketplace. Like he'll buy a guitar for $10 and in turn, resell it for $800. To accomplish things like this though, you need a deep Pawn Stars type of knowledge of items and value. Plus, there's also the guilt factor associated with taking items on the cheap and reselling at a markup. For Abe, he would suffer the crushing weight of feeling bad for buying a Van Goh for cheap and making millions. Abe feels that the person who unwittingly sold it to you should be taken care of. Angi does not agree and I kind of see where she's coming from. There was actually once when someone found a painting and it turned out to be worth a million dollars after they bought it. Abe felt like it should be split or at least give 10-20% of what you earned. We already know how Angi feels and because it was trash or cheap, too bad. She changed her tune slightly only when she considered if she likes the person or not but since we know she hates everyone, expect that you're not getting any cash from her.
Finally, Abe had barely moved into the Ivory Tower like 3 months or so ago. Mind you, he had owned the place since like Jan but you know, issues prevented him from sliding into his own place. Lest we forget that the only thing he actually has within the tower is a keyless door lock, Angi Taylor Memorial Toilet, a bed and his work desk. Don't forget that he has returned 3 couches and won't get another one until like January (full circle bitches!) This doesn't matter however because Abe is a minimalist now and everything he gets that doesn't fit the tower goes into the trash (which is dumpster dived by Angi and resold. Full circle pt. 2 bitches!) Anyway, while he was waiting to move into The Ivory Tower, Abe was living with his mom. Mama Kanan, patron saint of the world, would do everything for Abe while he was there. She would cook and do the laundry, which was the main point Angi was working toward. Angi was curious, now that he was back out on his own once more, could he do everything alone? Of course, how hard is it to wash an entire closet full of black t-shirts and blue jeans? Angi went on to explain that most people under 40 don't separate their whites and coloreds (I swear there's a social commentary joke in here but it's so early.) Abe doesn't either but that's only because he owns 1 white shirt and white sheets, everything else is black and blue as I pointed out earlier. Angi then asked if Abe knows how to boil an egg, which led to a vague description that sounded right and yet. However, even though she was asking, Angi couldn't explain how long one takes to cook either. It became more of a question of are these all things a parent should teach you or do you sort of wing it and figure it out on your own? For example, when Angi moved out, she had the knowledge already under her belt. Hers was taught though as you learn to cook and clean for a good man so he'll want to be with you. Obviously, Jay the Straight is not with Angi for either of those abilities. Her idea of cooking is picking up the phone and going on DoorDash. As for cleaning, that is something reserved for telling the maid places she missed while Angi lays on the couch after work everyday, drinking Jack Daniels and watching trashy reality shows on Discovery+.
Request Wars 2.0:
Champion: Angi (Streak: 1)
Angi's (repping Marisa) Song Choice: "Wash It All Away"
Abe's (repping Jake) Song Choice: "Nightmare"
Observation: After an absolutely massive botch job on Angi's part where poor Paige got her song played for free, things finally got underway. There was so much smack talk prior (and sus shots) there was hardly time for more. I think Abe has this in the bag, Angi really botched it here.
Winner: Abe
Don't Kill Angi Weekly Recap:
Angi Heads to a Seedy Carnival That's in Town.
Mon: Chantilly had Angi play a carnival game to win Jay the Straight a Lebron James poster. Buzz the Carny knows who Angi is and he is not happy. Randy Dalton aka Buzz was mad that she insulted his cousin Andy Dalton. He pulled out his gun but decided to spare Angi because he agreed that he sucks. (Alive)
Tue: Jodi had Angi try to win an Appetite for Destruction mirror for Abe at the dart game. She tossed the dart and popped the balloon. Corky the Carny told Angi that they have no mirrors. He pulled out a dart gun and shot her in the jugular. (Dead)
Wed: Ervin guessed Angi's weight as 110 pounds and he was correct! (Alive)
Thur: Glen had Angi do the bungee jumpee drop. The carny said she was too fat to jump and instead gave her a churro sundae. Her guts started to bubble and she pooped herself but she didn't die so. (Alive)
Fri: Tommy had Angi learn to swallow a sword. She apparently has a great gag reflex but unfortunately, she started to choke on the sword. It caused her to vomit but since her throat was stuffed, she ended up choking to death on her own vomit. (Dead)
10 o' Clock Toast:
Lucas Giolito. Angi spent the entire evening next to him at the Kanye rally last night but in her awake for 31 hours/"sober" state, assumed it was Michael Kopech.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
Quote: "All I think about is Jake, I've had Jake on my mind all day." - Abe
Quote: "Nobody cares about anybody else's fantasy football team." - Angi
Quote: "The Soldier Field Slut Walk, I saw Kim Kardashian and your girl Angi Taylor there." - Minn Barb
PSAbe: If you've ever taken your shirt off at a baseball game and got into a fight, you need to reevaluate your life.
New Head Roadie Alert! Congrats Todd, Head Roadie of Third Shifters
New Head Roadie Alert! Congrats Erica, Head Roadie of Veterinarians