This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
Serial d pic sender and more than likely brain damaged lump of meat Brett Farve has come out to issue a warning. Apparently football is dangerous (who could have imagined) and he is advising parents that their kids should not play tackle football if they are under 14. His concern is about CTE, the horrible head brain trauma that is becoming more and more apparent as these football players age. The problematic thing about CTE is researchers do not know if you have it or not until after you die, which makes diagnosis all the more imperfect. Even Farve himself doesn't know if he has it and he feels that we're just scratching the surface of it. Outside of the actual mental trauma, you may end up doing things that are going to be considered awful. Perhaps you take too many hits to the head and you start sending small ugly junk pics to your babysitter while your wife has cancer. See that's the thing, you can't realize if this is the reason things like this occur or because you're a multi millionaire with no common sense who got too thirsty, who knows? Anyway, Angi was curious to hear about things that the roadies had done when they were younger that they wouldn't do now. Like you have kids and if you found out your child was doing this, your head would literally spin in shock and awe. Like, there are dangerous things that used to be viable somehow and we never considered them bad until now when we are wiser and or parents ourselves. Abe started by, of course, mentioning how he used to drink out of the garden hose of the woman in the dress next door. Angi did the same thing as well (same here) and they wonder about all the bugs and parasites we all consumed doing stuff like this. Let's be real though, that hose water was fantastic and only fountain water can near matching it. Getting real though, Abe used to play a football type game with his brother Sam and their friend Gaska (I went to high school with him so I call them all by their last name.) The line was 5 yards back and the game was to smash into the other 2 and attempt to score. So there was repeated crunch, head bashing and general injury spared among the trio. Abe proclaimed that he more than likely has brain damage which actually explains a lot I think. As for Angi, she and her cousins would get all ratchet and hang out/play on the train tracks, including games of chicken with the train. Even considering her daughter doing this would send Angi into a panic mode none of us could probably tear her away from. Going to the phones, Cory and his friends used to hunt down the mosquito chemical truck and then they rode their bikes behind it. Like they almost treated it like it was some kind of ice cream truck. Angi was disgusted and there is definitely some brain damage there. Glen used to hold M80's close to his face and light and launch them. He luckily never got hurt but he couldn't imagine doing that anymore. Jennifier was certifiable with her call, discussing how she used to live near an expressway and they would throw rocks off it onto the cars below (seriously, Christ.) Johnny had a cool Mongoose bike that he would drive 20 miles an hour on and have 20 people ride the pegs. Mine was a combination of trying to be funny to others and being a complete moron. I used to love to fall down stairs for comedic effect in my late childhood as well as friends and I used to lay in the street/roll across the street for fun. We were clearly absolutely idiots.
All the Rest:
So, remember how your parents always told you video games would rot your brain. Turns out they were the brain dead ones because the reality is gaming is actually pretty good for you after all. In a newly released study, it was revealed that playing 2 hours of a video game can burn up to as many as 200 calories. This is roughly the same as doing 1,000 sit ups and you're literally just twiddling your thumbs. Though you're not doing anything special (unless you're me and you're throwing the controller and screaming,) it is connected to your heart. Apparently the rise in blood pressure, the excitement, the highs and lows, etc all work in conjunction to consume calories. It should be noted that this study was done in conjunction with a gaming app and used a Fitbit to track the overall calories burned. The average in general is 210 for men and 236 for women. Abe mentioned that Nintendo game where you would do strenuous exercise (the one where you would run on the pad and it was like track and field,) curious as to if Angi had it as a kid because he didn't. She didn't have it as well because you know, she didn't play games though she did handle a ton of joysticks. Here's the thing though, don't rush out and attempt to get a PS5 because you're not going to end up getting a 6 pack from gaming. Still on the subject of gaming, Abe mentioned how he's interested in picking up an Oculus, the VR gaming headset that offers immersive experiences and, you know, fun (which we all know Abe hates so I'm not convinced he really wants one.) Angi was fully onboard with the idea of Abe buying an Oculus and she relayed some of her games that she has on hers. For example, there's that one where you walk a plank that is situated between two high rises. If this sounds familiar, it's because Angi told us about the time Jay the Straight tackled her to scare her during the game. Since it is super immersive, she ended up tumbling over and she was hurt pretty bad. She gimped her t-rex elbow and basically destroyed her knees. As for her in game avatar, it went splat on the sidewalk. Abe explained how he really wanted to get that boxing game it has because that could be fun. Angi explained that there's also a game where you walk into a bar and can start fights, throw bottles, etc. I have a feeling though that this was not a game she was discussing but a normal Friday night for her.
Now that we've had some fun, I think it's time to get spooky. As we all know, the ghost of Tawny Kitaen lives in Rock 95.5 studios so when something goes wrong, it's usually her just acting up. Anyway, this is about another set of dead celebrities. First there was the woman who went around claiming she was the reincarnation of Marilyn Monroe (which I'm assuming is why she kept sleeping with guys named Joe.) This story is about a woman who is apparently possessed by the ghost of Michael Jackson. Well, sometimes she is, he uses her as a vessel which causes her to sing and dance like him sometimes. Since he is basically attached to her at the hip (or wherever undead souls latch on when they haunt you,) she decided to take it a step further. This looney toon decided that she was going to marry the ghost who had inhabited her personal space. In fact, the whack a doodle had the ghost of Martin Luther King Jr. officiate her wedding as well. So this led Angi to ponder a question of spectral arrangement. If you could be married to a celebrity ghost, who would you want it to be? We all know immediately that Mama Kanan for example would love to marry the ghost of Elvis as he is her favorite (the same would probably go for my friend Jenny as she loves him as well.) Abe's pick was interesting and very sweet. He would choose Miss Elizabeth, the long suffering wrestling valet who was never treated properly in this life. With him by her side, he would totally get her on the straight and narrow. Angi's pick was obviously Prince because like Mama Kanan, she has a love for a dead musician that will never truly die. Taking to the phones, John said he would want to be married to the ghost of Vincent Price, if only because he has an amazing voice. Luckily for John, he can hear tons of Vincent Price on this show quite often. Leann the phlebotomist called and before she could give us her choice, Abe explained that he almost fainted recently. This gave Angi and Leann a chance to team up and discuss how men are big bitches when it comes to needles. There was a pretty valid point made though whereas they can be stuck by needles while getting 87 tattoos but one regular one sends them reeling and toward the floor. Another roadie whose name I accidentally just erased wanted Patrick Swayze to come haunt her because he had an amazing booty. Angi dampened that dream by saying he wasn't that nice of a person and honestly, I could see why that would suck. I mean you would probably just end up like the girl fromMidsommarinhaling cigarette fumes from his ghost as the first thing he'd want to do when back alive is get back to his beloved cigarettes. Julie wanted the ghost of George Carlin because she could have him jump on her and she could use it to roast her friends and as well as many a ton of money doing actual roasts. As for me, if I'm going celebrity I'd say Bowie because I loved him so much but realistically, I want the ghost of my dead best friend around because he brought me more joy than anyone else living or dead.
Finally, there was a discussion about jobs because let's face it, these notes are a job and there's very few perks. However, let's assume you have a job or you took a job for a perk, what was it? This was actually inspired by Abe today who was refreshing his discussion from yesterday about his third couch. Remember, the one with the Exxon Mobil oil stain on it that needs to be returned yet again. That third couch was actually being picked up today and removed from The Ivory Tower, another closing chapter on this couch saga. For the fourth and hopefully final installment of this story, Abe finally went to Crate and Barrel and bought an expensive couch. While there, he talked to a guy who worked there that is actually quitting this week. The worker had only taken the job because he wanted a discount on a ton of the furniture there. It takes 30/60 days for that benefit to kick in and the moment it did, he bought a ton of stuff. Now that he got what he wanted, he's done with the place. Angi went on to discuss one friend who worked at Starbucks so she could get insurance while also running her own business. Another worked at Anthropology because she loved the clothes and wanted to get a discount on all of them. It should be noted that Angi worked at Dairy Queen before and would have 3 Blizzards a day. Sure, she gained 500 pounds but she was able to get rid of it once she quit. On the phones, Bianca took a job at Victoria Secret before college so she could get a discount on all those sweet bras and panties. Apparently, she didn't work at the one that was in Chicago Ridge Mall which is great because Abe gave out a creeper tip. There's a bench outside of that particular one and a bunch of dudes will sit on it and just leer at the girls inside. Ray worked in the office of a place where he wanted to get his mother's stove fixed for a discount, once he did that, he also quit. Josh took a job at Autozone to get 20% off on parts he needed to fix his car. Kevin worked at a liquor distributor straight out of high school, I'm assuming he was the coolest kid in college. Joey D was a flight attendant because he could go anywhere in the world for free. Over on FB, Head Roadie Scott discussed lifting CD's from the Rolling Stone he worked at because come on, why else would you want to work there. As for me, I never took a perk job but I have a friend named Omar who worked at World Market and Target to get the discounts since he spent so much money there. Angi was quite jealous of this, she always wanted to work at Target during high school for the same reason.
Request Wars 2.0:
Champion: Angi (Streak: 1)
Angi's (repping Rob) Song Choice: "Nookie"
Abe's (repping Stephanie) Song Choice: "Fall to Pieces"
Observation: This was incredible. Moving, touching, filled with uplifting stories of recovery and the triumph of human spirit while saving others. A must listen to Request Wars today, hit up the pod to hear it (and lay the whole way through.)
Winner: Abe
10 o' Clock Toast:
All the Dead Singers of STP. RIP Scott and Chester and Jeff, watch out please (even though you guys aren't coming here with Bush for some reason.)
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
"Here's what we learned, never throw your masks away ever." - Abe
"I had the molester moustache before I went to high school and I was forced to shave." - Abe
"You gotta stop saying Patrick beat his wife or Patrick beat his son." - Angi