Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
Let's talk about gifting, something I know everything about because this has been a topic of discussion on this show for weeks now. Ever since Abe declined to bother coming through to pick up his beautiful bag of birthday gifts I've had sitting here since his birthday, I've been on a real bender about gifting. However, this is not about me and my hang ups and rage, no this is about bad gifts you've gotten from others. I should add that my gift giving is meticulous and amazing so nothing that will come up in this conversation applies to me though I do have a bad gift story to add at the end. So this all came about because Angi's friend, who has been called D to protect her actual identity, got a ridiculous gift. Like it's so out there and incredibly insane that it's literally going to sound like it is a fake story. However, it is 100% real and there are pictures and receipts to show that this actually happened. So D had a guy who was digging on her and wanted to take her out on a date. Before their big night was to occur, he took it upon himself to send her a small gift. Enclosed within was a bouquet of beautiful flowers and a pack of Plan B. Yes, he literally showcased his intention to take her out, wine and dine her and then go back to her place where he was going to smash her raw and leave a surprise in her torn apart cash and prizes. Angi was absolutely appalled when she heard this story and could not believe anyone would have the audacity to do something like this. Needless to say, D did not go out with this jobber. So with the ball rolling, Angi went on to describe her worst gift. It came to her at her baby shower and it was from a friend of her mother's. This horrendous gift was a little teddy bear that was wearing a shirt that said Canada on it. She assumed this was something that the woman had found at an airport (or probably in a dumpster I'm sure) and she couldn't help but never forget how bad it was. As for Abe, well his gift was very thoughtful but of course, Abe messed it all up. He had a weird neighbor who was very fond of watching him and his brother Sam play catch. I know what you're thinking and though it was not admitted, I'm sure this was one of Abe's many repressed molestors. Anyway, this man went to Asia and got Abe a souvenir which apparently was called a mogwai. Apparently, Abe wasn't supposed to feed it after midnight or throw it into a bathtub full of water and of course he did both. The thing went nuts, something about calling itself Spike, it was a real mess. I will add though this is a ridiculously interesting and fresh story, I've suggested we talk and maybe I can write it into a script or something. Going to the phones, Michelle called to say that she had been dating a guy for 6 months. On her birthday, this guy's mother gave her a book of baby names. It should be noted that they were just dating and laying together, there was no real interest or intention to take it further. However the mother was nuts and wanted so badly for him to deposit a baby in her. Needless to say, she did not stay with the guy and have a baby but she did keep the book which did have some really good names. Head Roadie Kevin called to explain how he once got a nativity scene from his aunt and uncle. It should be noted that he is not at all religious and he threw it right into the garbage. The thing is they continue to send him more figurines for it for his bday and Christmas, which continue to end up in the trash. Luckily they live in Iowa, so they'll never know that he dumps their garbage where it belongs, in the dumpster. As for me, I once got a printer from two well intending friends when I was in my late teens. They figured it would be useful and relevant to me but at the time, I hated it and was beyond upset when I got it. This was a case of me being a spoiled brat though even if I did consider it a bad gift.
All the Rest:
I'm going to combine a topic as I tend to do on occasion because I feel it's fitting to work one into another. So the morning began discussing the plight of the poor Afghans who are trying to escape from the hellish reality that has been pushed upon them. These people are trying so hard to get out of their situation and into a new one means that they'll have to end up reacclimating themselves. The thing is, as we continue to see here in our first world country, reacclimation is clearly a big todo that is hard and awful. I mean, can you imagine going back to work after (well now during again) the pandemic after being home for so many months. I mean they have to deal with traffic to get there and then come home and deal with their 4 year olds. The transition of going from smoking weed every morning and day drinking to having to put on clothes and go back to the office, it's so hard. Most people can't understand how Angi and Abe do it, they're not even supposed to be there and of course, no one is listeningat 5 A.M.so why do they do it? I mean outside of the fact that they worked through the whole pandemic and care about the roadies, they are not afraid of or in dire need to bury themselves under the reacclimation clause. How this leads into a second topic though might be a bit confusing because it seems like it's a closed loop but you would be wrong. Another thing that comes from being home all the time and not wanting to reacclimate is that we've been ordering online a ton. In fact, we tend to order a ton of things that will never get used. 70,000 disappointing purchases over the course of a lifetime and there can be as many as 899 a year on average. I don't know what these people are ordering because I'm usually thrilled with what I get but then again, people are also afraid to go to work. Anyway, the most common type of item that people end up hating and never using is clothing. This I can get behind because I've done that before and it ends up being buried in a drawer until I throw it out years later. Abe also understands this struggle because he'll see something he likes that looks good but ends up being too small. Of course, this comes from somewhere in Asia where a 2x is a child size and it takes 7 months to arrive and by the time it does, you're screwed. The other two big ones are technology and kids toys. A lot of this stuff ends up being hard to send back or let's face it, we're too lazy to send back. Regardless, all this garbage eats up all your hard earned money and it's just terrible. Speaking of wasting money, the saga of Abe's couch has gained yet another enthralling chapter. That's right, he bought yet another couch and guess what, this one was a mess as well. It had an oil spill on it and was made of like twigs and pressure treated cheap leather. He ordered it online again because he still hasn't learned his lesson or has he? After sending back this third couch, he finally caved and decided to go to Crate & Barrel. Breaking out the credit card, he spent a ton of money on it. The couch is due to arrive in October and so for him, he will be spending another month and a half lying on the floor or on his bed. He'll be wearing a sheet of course like inMy 600 Pound Lifeand by the time the couch arrives, he'll probably have to have a crane move him from his bed to it. Ah, to dream of doing nothing but lounging and watching Youtube while lying on your stomach eating Doritos, such bliss.
Right, moving on from not wanting to leave the house to finding your way to a toilet when you're outside of it. That's right because when you think of The Angi Taylor Show, you definitely think of the bathroom, whether wondering if Abe is in it or running to it to throw up after something disgusting is said on the show. Anyway, this morning Angi brought out a list that some people would absolutely adore. America's best public bathrooms and guess what, none of them are in Chicago. This move alone is more than likely going to push Abe to continue his idea of Clean Bathrooms. If you don't know about Clean Bathrooms, I'm not going to spend the whole of this explaining it. It's essentially a pay for toilet that is amazing and you're paying a specific amount depending on what you intend to do inside it. Anyway, the top of the list is South Carolina, which is funny because just yesterday Abe was discussing how he would never go to the Carolinas (pretty show a good bathroom isn't going to change that.) Before giving more of the list (and by more I mean two more examples,) Angi explained that Abe's brilliant idea might have already been stolen. It's called Fancy Flush and they are portable toilets that are fancy as hell. Another off the actual list was the JFK airport terminal bathroom, which you would never assume between all the scumbags, drug usage and just general degeneracy found in an airport. For example, have you seen those disgusting toilets that clean themselves at O'Hare? Yeah, they are gross and should be avoided unless you want to catch something new. Angi also mentioned that Atlana was on this list but she was growing bored of hearing about others achievements, her goal was to hear about our special places to do the business. She wanted to find a list of the best toilets in Chicago (and she did!) Abe's opinion of the best Chicago bathroom is the one at Fogo de Chão on Lasalle. Way to dream big there Abe and besides, I know you and Bass go there and I'm sure the bathroom is disgusting. As for Angi, her choice is Bar 94 which is on the top of the Hancock. It has amazing views, big windows (you know that bitch and her windows.) Abe is seeking cleanliness and thick as washrag napkins whereas Angi wants beauty and the ability to have the sun touch her. Over there in the empty reacclimating iHeart building, there are two floors that get used for the bathroom. If Abe or Angi needs to drop a flop, they go up to the second floor. If it's just a water sport pit stop, they use the first floor. Abe also revealed that back when he worked at the Merchandise Mart, people would hide their feet inside shopping bags so they could go into the stall and bang. Other notable bathrooms in the city are the men's room at Streeters in River North, the women's room at Bar 94 (as Angi suggested,) and apparently Cole's Bar in Logan Square has the best glory holes! Also on the list, The Bandit for it's Britney restroom, Punch House, Kuma's Corner, and Homeslice. Head Roadie Troy checked in to say he'd assume the one in Abe's Ivory Tower is also amazing. If it's anything like Troy's, it has to be as he makes his wife clean theirs with a toothbrush. I'm going to overlook all that nonsense though because I'm busy setting up an Uber ride for tonight to go to Cole's Bar.
Finally, legendary AEW wrestler Chris Jericho called in to discuss all his upcoming Chicago gigs and just how much he loves Chicago. No seriously, you would think he worked for the tourism board with the amount of times Chicago got name dropped in the conversation. Let's get to what he has going on in the city though. There's his upcoming Fozzy concert at The Forge, the AEW All Out PPV, AEW Dynamite and plenty of other fun stuff. He for one is thrilled that they are finally allowed to be back in front of crowds. Chicago for him is very world renowned and regardless of where he ends up working, he always finds Chicago to be amazing. AEW more than anything else is also super hot right now, with 4 upcoming Chicago shows over a span of 2 weeks that are almost sold out or sold out fully. It's going to be an awesome time for him and most of the other wrestlers as Chicago is a place they truly love to work. Being the massive wrestling fan that he is, Abe went on to explain how he was there for when he was 22 years ago for Jericho's WWE debut. Abe was one of the people in the crowd who knew what was up and was counting down. For him, it was one of his top 3 moments in wrestling. Jericho felt that for those who were not in the know, it became a highlight because it was a surprise for them. It was a great way to kick off his WWE run and he considered it an absolutely great night. Abe knew of his appearance because he and Sam used to call those wrestling hotlines that cost 99 cents a minute. Abe had brought a RAW Is Jericho sign with him that night after discovering it. Chicago though would then ironically become important when coming to AEW. It was here that he went on to win the AEW championship here. Abe alluded to CM Punk showing up hereFriday nightand it wasn't denied (nor was it acknowledged really, probably with good reason.) He does expect though that "Judas" will get sung and the place will more than likely just absolutely explode. You just never know what's going to happen in AEW and that's what's cool. Hell, the fan base alone is another cool factor of it all, all these people who go out of their way to show their support and love for what you do. Angi finally decided to chime in and point out that Abe is 40 and overly excited about Jericho. He looked at it as a compliment though seeing as he had a 60 year old man go nuts over him fairly recently as well. It's cool to have people grow up with him (and other wrestlers) and for them to be with them all these years later. The interview was capped by Jericho saying he loves Chicago, wow, who knew!
Request Wars 2.0:
Champion: Abe (Streak: 1)
Angi's (repping Sam Kanan) Song Choice: "Head Like a Hole"
Abe's (repping Courtney) Song Choice: "Since You Been Gone"
Observation: Angi is hell bent on ruining the Kanan family and she pulled out older brother Sam today, who while normally a powder keg, was quite contained this morning (I've seen him explode like The Challenger before.) Abe's song choice was weak though so this was easy.
Winner: Angi
10 o' Clock Toast:
Chris Jericho. He's coming to town like Santa Claus and plenty of man children are about to have their Christmas O when he arrives.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
"I love peeing on sides of the road, the wind feels nice." - Abe
"I'm creating a divide in this family. It's fun, I like it." - Angi