This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
It's the weekend so you know what that means, lots and lots of drinking. Funny enough, Angi had a topic about drinking this morning (well, I mean her drinking every morning should be a topic that is discussed but neither here nor there.) It began with a simple question, do Angi or Abe keep anything on their night stand when they sleep. Abe keeps a water bottle as one does. Angi does as well, along with some viagra, a bottle of Jack Daniels, her "me time" device and of course, another bottle of Jack Daniels. Anyway, some idiot was sleeping and had a candle on his nightstand next to his water bottle. I should add that the candle was lit and still burning ... while he was sleeping next to it. This fire hazard waiting to go viral for burning down his house woke up, went to reach for his water in the dark and grabbed the first round thing his hand touched. Turns out he grabbed the candle and ended up pouring himself a nice mouth full of burning hot wax. Mind you, he didn't realize he was drinking wax until his mouth was full of it. This left his teeth and mouth coated with a nice layer of wax as well as a blister on his tongue. Some people were actually pretty jealous of this, seeing as this guy waterproofed his mouth and could now drink faster without all that drag. This led Angi to question, was there ever a time when you accidentally ate or drank something nasty? For Angi, she was at a party once and someone who was smoking there was ashing into a beer can. Angi was also drinking beer and was wasted because, I mean we're talking about Angi here so. Anyway, one beer put down, picked back up and oops, she got herself an ashen treat in her mouth. This is gross but nothing compared to Abe's friend Hollywood, who himself had an accidental drink that is beyond revolting. Back at another radio station, there was a guy who chewed dip. He used a Red Bull can as his spit receptacle. Hollywood loves Red Bull. I think you know where this is going and I need to stop typing about it because I almost threw up considering it. Roadie Matt called to say he once accidentally drank a sip of his own pee (so did Trixie Mattel, do you see her calling about it!) He peed in a cup and forgot about it and assuming it was Mountain Dew, there you go. There was a little discussion afterward about how Angi is into watersports apparently, how you should drink your pee if stranded on a desert island and of course peeing on athlete's foot and jellyfish stings. I have a story of a friend I've told on air before where he bought pączki from a local grocery chain and when his friend bit into it, it was filled with maggots. Not necessarily an accidental thing but still gross like most of this stuff and guess what, that was the trigger for me to go vomit finally.
All the Rest:
So it's the weekend and we have sports on our mind. Mainly because of the Field of Dreams game last night but also because the Bears are playing this weekend. That's right, it's basically Fall so let's just start looking for our sweaters and get ready to start buying our Christmas stuff. As I said, last night was the Field of Dreams game and Abe was overly excited about it. On the other hand, Angi wasn't too impressed with it seeing as she didn't even bother watching the game. According to Abe, it was the greatest game he has ever seen. James Earl Jones did a voice over for it, Kevin Costner came out and opened the game as the players came out through the corn. Home runs were going into the corn where Issac and Malachai were waiting with scythes and machetes to reap their souls. At the end, fireworks went off (at least that's what everyone assumed they were. Us in the know realized it was just the demon exploding after being defeated.) Thankfully there was a bunch of fencing to keep the players from wandering in and being murdered by all the children. This was also a big deal for Iowa because aside from Slipknot, nothing has ever happened in Iowa. On to the other sports related story, NASCAR is going to have a Dustin Diamond stock car this weekend. I know what you're thinking, the name sounds familiar and that's because you know him as Screech, the loveable loser (strong emphasis on loser) fromSaved By the Bell. As you'll recall, he died recently and even though everyone is falling all over themselves to remember him as amazing, the reality is he was a total garbage person. This is the problem with history in that when someone dies, we bend over backwards to rewrite things to fit a narrative. This rewritten bookend is only coming about because some NASCAR loser is friends with him and wanted to celebrate this trash heap the only way he could. Here's the thing, they have aSaved By the Bellreboot going, guess who wasn't asked to join it? Wanna know why, because he tried to expose all his castmates and make them look bad, smack talked them every chance he got. Also, he ended up doing a limited porn career that was stunt dongs and "dirty sanchez's." In other words, he's an absolutely disgusting human being. Apparently btw, the tribute will be in the form of a jumpsuit that will be colored in a verySaved By the Bellscheme kind of way. Angi commented that no one on Earth could literally like both those things at the same time.
Finally, Angi was jobbing at Radiocon yesterday where she was giving a TED Talk about women or something. We discussed it a bit more in detail yesterday when we discussed Panama Jack and all his buddies but we're revisiting for just a quick moment. Accordingly, there were a ton of jobbers out at the convention. Even more though, there were jobless jobbers, a subgenre of losers who are even more pathetic than the tropical shirts they were wearing. This was a big gathering of hustlers essentially, with every person working toward some goal of obtaining a position or cozying up to and laying with a big shot. There was a good point brought up though. These loser jobber dorks were paying money to go to Radiocon and yet they have no job to begin with. Instead of using that money constructively, they are wasting it on ass kissing (which kind of probably explains why they are jobless.) Also the people watching was kind of what you would expect. There was a guy from the Tulsa market in a flamingo sports coat. There was another radio company attempting to recruit and poach talent. As I said though, the main point of all this was Angi, who was on a panel. Though Abe was busy watching baseball, at least the boss was in the audience to see her speak. Well, he was for a few minutes but he got up and left because he had to take a call. What Angi came to learn during my call in was that the call had come from me. I was busy pitching to him The Gay Shark Show, a five hour fun fest where I team up with everyone's favorite weekend guy and Angi's best friend Shark. It would essentially be this show but like a tad bit gayer, which isn't really saying much when you have Abe attempting to shatter his glass closet every morning.
Request Wars 2.0:
Champion: Angi (Streak: 1)
Angi's (repping Wendy) Song Choice: "Master of Puppets"
Abe's (repping Jimbo) Song Choice: "Heart Shaped Box"
Observation: Jimbo is poor, homeless, has gout. Wendy is a military vet, has 5 purple hearts and raises money for soggy bones syndrome. Angi and Abe are really finding some charity cases for Request Wars these days and I am here for it!
Winner: Angi
Don't Kill Angi Weekly Recap:
The Field of Dreams Ghost Was Compelling Angi to Build Something.
Mon: Don had Angi ignore the voice that was speaking to her. It turned out it was The Field of Dreams ghost and it got angry at Angi for ignoring it. Enraged, it dropped her house on her. (Dead)
Tue: Gina had Angi buildMelrose Placewith a beautiful pool. Heather Locklear came in with drugs and shared them with Angi as they swam together. Angi ended up alive and high. (Alive)
Wed: Tim had Angi choose to party with Tommy Lee at Melrose Place. Tommy got naked in the pool and they played "Marco Polo." However, Tommy Lee's huge junk got caught in the pool filter and it ruined the party but Angi didn't die. (Alive)
Thur: April had Angi hitchhike a ride to the Field of Dreams game. At the game, she saw Sox fans who started calling her a "mush." The fans had commemorative baseball bats that they used to beat her to death. (Dead)
Fri: Danny had Angi ask to join Stone Sour. Corey Taylor was furious because who would want to join Stone Sour? Corey Taylor pulled out a drumstick and impaled Angi with it. (Dead)
10 o' Clock Toast:
Viagra. Angi got her hands on tons of viagra ... need I say more?
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
Quote: "I love pee, it's great!" - Angi
Quote: "Stop being bitches and asking us to play Cannibal Corpse." - Abe
Quote: "Let me tell you something, if someone offers you free drugs, you take them!" - Angi
Quote: "You (Angi) were at Radiocon yesterday giving a TED Talk to a bunch of jobless losers." - Jay the Gay
Quote: "October, that's Angi Taylor's birth month, dime store hooker." - Minn Bard
New Head Roadie Alert! Congrats Tom, Head Roadie of D.C.