This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
In a move I'm assuming meant to help alleviate others of feeling guilty for cyber stalking, Angi made a confession this morning. She likes to creep on Abe's Instagram all the time, looking at pics of him, his brother Sam who she finds hot and his brother Mike, who she also likes. She went on to explain how she found Mike delightful and loved that he had a Big Gulp cup of vodka at the Sox game. Something tells me that she likes the alcohol and Mike is just an extension of that but that's just my opinion. Anyway, this discussion of Abe's "white" brother led to him telling a story about childhood trauma. Though we already know Angi loves to bully (I mean, look at me, I get it daily,) Abe told a story about how him and Sam used to bully Mike when they would go to restaurants as kids. Apparently, Mike had a high voice back when he was a young twink, much to the amusement of the Brothers from Hell. They would make fun of him, clown on him and push the goofing to the point that he was afraid to talk to the waitress. Fast forward years later and guess what, he is still traumatized and finds himself having issues ordering from the waitress/waiter when he goes to restaurants. Angi is a bit more firm about her parenting, where she would demand that her daughter look the wait staff in the eye and firmly tell them what she wants. I for one can't imagine the terror that comes from having to wait on those two. That said, Angi was seeking to discover how Abe was traumatized as a kid (we're overlooking adult trauma so the Slash poster from today is getting ignored.) Angi's childhood trauma occurred when she was in 8th grade geometry. She happened to be sitting on the floor, legs open (big shock there) and her teacher alerted her that she needed to go see the nurse. It was then that Angi realized she had gotten her first period. She was obviously allowed to leave after this happened since her pants were ruined but she never wore white pants again after that. Abe had a suggestion for all the school nurses out there. Go to Kohl's and buy 20 pairs of sweatpants for like $20. Stock them away in your office and have them readily available for any time a girl is going to need them. Abe Kanan, solving small problems with big idea solutions one at a time. During this segment we were not treated to any form of Abe trauma but I made sure to highlight plenty of them during my call in. Like the time his dog "went to a farm" and his trip to Fond Du Lac (to hear them all check out my call on the podcast.) On the phone was Penny, who had a babysitter as a kid who showed her the horror filmThe Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane. There's apparently a scene in the movie where an attic door falls on a girl and crushes her while impaling nails on her fails. She was so upset by the experience, she could not sleep for two weeks. Angi is in the same boat, not with trauma but in that she can't watch horror movies. Trashman Tim called in to discuss how he was a fat kid with buck teeth and curly hair but he was good at roller skating. Apparently, this skill was not impressive for a sixth grader as he couldn't get any girls to come over. Look at him now though, he tells the hoes that he's Trash Man Tim and all the hoes come flocking. Abe and Angi wondered if the bee girl from the Blind Melon "No Rain" video is traumatized after a song break before going back to the phones. Another listener (whose name I didn't catch) called to discuss that in fourth grade, a friend told him he was going to get jumped in middle school. He looked like Harry Potter and he was messed up by the whole thing, to the point that he was crying. The friend eventually came around to apologize profusely and they are good friends now. As for me, I'm usually the one who inflicted the trauma (I can think of several regrets that still eat me up) but I do have one of my own. I always wanted to learn Spanish because I lived in a primarily Hispanic neighborhood. The thing was, when I was trying to learn my friends would all goof on me about it. Not one to take such abuse, I did what any smart person would do. I swore off learning a second language and also never touched tequila again after that.
All the Rest:
It's about time that Angi got into a topic that I'm all about, which involved her questioning/hating on mail people. Personally, I hate the USPS and will talk smack about it at all turns because they suck. Anyway, grandma Taylor was having her "friend"/hair stylist over yesterday to touch up her grays. Abe also noticed that this girl was a "friend" who she was abusing for free styling and immediately took issue with it. He was insistent on pointing out that this girl is not Angi's friend. Angi went on to explain that she got ordained and married this friend of hers. It didn't matter, Abe was here to lay the grief on thick this morning. So these two are sitting outside, probably smoking and drinking 40's while waiting for Angi's hair coloration to take. Angi's mail lady rolled through and her friend commented that she was cute. This also led her to discuss her personal mail man, who showed up at her house the other day in civilian clothes, driving a Dodge Charger and tossed her mail at the house. Angi was absolutely shook by all of this, going as far to wonder aloud if it was even legal for mail people to do this. They have to be in uniform and in their truck when delivering mail right, she pondered as the sun cooked her head. She continued on, if they have this big bag of mail, why are you not delivering it right? More so, shouldn't there be cameras in the mail truck to show that they are not doing their jobs. Angi questioned if any of this was even legal. Like I said, the bitch was shook. Abe wondered if the mail was just extra mail that didn't get delivered earlier or something along those lines. Seeing as this is a government job, there was a question on if they are actually allowed to do stuff like that. Jay the Straight was dragged into this mess to further his suffering husband status. He said that perhaps the mail man lives on her street and he was just finishing up before going home for the day. Apparently though, with a strong emphasis on this point, it was a big bag of mail. "Maybe it's just easier to take the last batch on the way home this way or perhaps he was going to party" chimed in Abe, in all his infinite wisdom. The whole thing just did not sit right with Angi and the chemicals that were seeping into her brain. Roadie Casey called in to say that this is common in his town (population 1,000.) His mail people come through in their minivans because sometimes they don't feel like driving the truck that day. Again, Angi showcased virtue and all that is righteous by saying that all of this was wrong! Her major gripe then turned into wanting to actually know where all the mail is. Like, what if he's on a date and the date is rifling through the mail bag? This led to the discovery of a secret trauma (see, tie in!) of back when Angi was 22 and she dated a mail man. This mail man had amazing legs and was very tan but she ended up dumping him because she was 22 and she couldn't imagine what people would think of her doing such a thing. Yeah, now he's 32 and retired with a fat government pension, what a dumb bitch. Let me cap this mess by pointing out that I hate the USPS with an absolute passion. They are the worst company in America and all their workers are awful. Obviously this is not a place for my soapbox stuff, I simply wanted to mention I despise them.
An ongoing saga here on The Angi Taylor show is the hosts falling apart. I don't mean like not being able to hold it in, I mean like literally falling apart. Abe has his gimp foot, his wrecked neck, his busted shoulder, his alopecia, etc. As for Angi, where do we even start? The exploding implants that led to her having frankenhooker tits now. There was that time her back was bothering her that one morning. Let's not forget about her early onset because she can't remember anything that ... wait, what was I talking about? Well, it's time to add another ailment to the list and this has been an ongoing point for some time now. You see, Angi is blind (like that pun,) and we now have video proof to go along with the accusations that Abe has been lobbying for quite some time now. The push this morning began with Abe, who said that Angi should get new glasses cause she's blind as a bat (should be a real hoot reading her speech at Radiocon tonight.) She countered that she is suffering from Abelsightedness but finally relented to give us the truth. At 35, her eyeballs decided that they were done and that's all there was to it. So now she can't read anymore (which explains why she ignores the emails I send her.) To further back up this point, Jay the Straight got super shady last night. He secretly took a video after asking Angi to read a description onHouse Hunters International. The reason behind her being pushed into this read was because she was curious as to where the couple were attempting to buy a home. After shooting the secret video, he did what any good husband who has to put up with Angi would do. He sent the video over to Abe for content that could be used this morning (as I said, the shade of it all.) Now that the secret is out (and the video is posted, check our Facebook group.) All of this made Angi realize what is really going on. There is a coup afoot in the studio and Abe is working with Jay the Straight to oust her and take over the show. This led to her deciding that she is not only ready to sell her worn down co-host but it's also time to shove off her husband as well. Check out Angi's Ebay account for a slightly used but in good health drink of sweet man. She's done with him and hopefully she'll be able to see your bids on him but who knows with her. Either way, she's blind and this may finally be the day she goes out the window (if she can find it that is.)
Finally, Angi brought us an interesting fact this morning. It turns out that employees who work at Disney Parks are not allowed to point at people with one finger. This rule was put into place because apparently some other cultures find pointing to be rude. Abe was wondering what the entertainers are supposed to do in response, fist them? I had to add this simply because of course Abe would say something along those lines. Anyway, this led Angi to ponder if there were any weird rules within iHeart. There was the one where you're not supposed to be drinking at live events. Actually, you're probably not supposed to be drinking at work in general. Luckily, the 95.5 studio is funded by Jack Daniels and it also fuels Angi as well, how else do you think she gets through a 5 hour show each day? Another rule is to always hit the post (for those not in the radio lingo, that means you talk over the music of a song until the second before the first lyric is uttered.) Angi is actually incredible at hitting the post and showcases it on a regular basis. Taking calls from the roadies, the first was from John. John is forced to clean the litter box in his boss's office every Friday because his boss loves to bring his cat to work. This brought out an Angi Taylor Show rule: everyone should do their own stuff, don't ask people to do your stuff. Then they took a call from Bob and honestly I can't perfectly explain what he called in about. I highly suggest you go listen to this on the podcast because my mind left my body once Bob started telling his story. Something about popping off blades on an electric saw at work, these signs, chasing a co-worker with a knife and the whole incident got fired. I was floating above the room while he told this incredible story so yeah, it was a doozy. After the longest story I've ever heard ended, Conrad the Weather Man came in to say there's apparently a rule where he's not allowed to pinch Angi's butt when she wears leather pants. This led to the nuclear core in her head hitting another milestone toward absolute meltdown and there's a good chance she ends up dead before today is through.
Request Wars 2.0:
Champion: Abe (Streak: 4)
Angi's (repping Beth) Song Choice: "Seek and Destroy"
Abe's (repping Stamos) Song Choice: "Forever"
Observation: Angi needed to win because if she didn't, it was going down and it was going to be a nightmare. It should be mentioned that she barely won by 51% to 49%, which in itself is hilarious. Regardless, she can finally calm down now.
Winner: Angi
10 o' Clock Toast:
Slash. He sent Abe a personalized autographed picture and he was beyond thrilled.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
Quote: "You really take food pictures, I have a whole book of food pictures." - Abe
Quote: "John Stamos doesn't even know you exist, he doesn't know who you are." - Angi
Sus Quote: "I'm the woman on this show - Abe
PSAngi: Don't listen to TikTok or ads when it comes to putting things in your junk.