This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
Ah Facebook, an absolutely unnecessary piece of trash that exists only to remind you how awful people you know are and of course, get your inundation of literal fake news on a daily basis. Back years ago though, before it became the literal gross dumping ground that it is now, it was new and fresh and we were so very stupid. Anyway, it was back in that time when we didn't know better that we probably (I mean definitely) typed out pretty stupid things on our statuses. Honestly, I know people who are still doing this stuff but whatever, that's for another day. Today we are discussing Facebook Memories, that wonderful collection of spectors from years ago that haunt you daily when you click on that tab. While you're sitting here pondering what you've written prior, if you have a Facebook, take a moment to go and click on the Memories tab and go cringe yourself out. Trust me, you've probably written something stupid and hate yourself it. Anyway, Angi doesn't really use her Facebook anymore (I know the feeling, I keep mine for Messenger and running the show group only really.) Abe however is very active on Facebook, just as he was back on Myspace. Angi never had a Myspace because she spent so much time smack talking about it on air, she would come off as a hypocrite if she got one. Though it was dumb, one of the big things about Myspace was the Top 10 friend list and how many issues/fights/general anger it would cause. The thing about Facebook though back in its infancy 12/13 years ago was most of us treated it like Twitter (and let me tell you, in that moment I felt so seen, I could feel Angi's words searing into me.) Looking back on today's memories, 12 years ago Angi wrote that she was "Sitting on a runway, waiting to take off for an hour and a half. This blows." The followup post discussed "leaving Cinci and how she hated leaving her man behind." Looking back, seeing these dumb things that were written all the way back in 2011 is just nuts to her. As for Abe, he wrote "More proof that the IPhone is the greatest phone ever! I just dropped it in the toilet and it still works. Let me see a blackberry do that." Abe had a Blackberry and he hated it (hmm, I wonder if this goes on my list?) This was yet another thing that Angi never had as well. Anyway, Angi was seeking to hear dumb Facebook Memories from the roadies and reasons why they wrote them. Taysha wrote on hers years ago on this day "I guess we're not talking anymore. Cool." She assumed that it was written about her sister which makes sense because they are still not talking. Ashley shared a meme last year that showed a dark, foreboding road that said "Walk this road at 1 A.M. or go back to your ex." "Run run, as fast as you can, can't catch me" was what she added to it as a showcase of how she would never go back to any of her loser exes. Bill wrote "Don't piss me off again or else I know where you sleep." It apparently was written for someone who pissed him off. I called in with an absolute mess discussing a drunk night with friends like 12 years ago where we made Rock Band videos and posted them on Youtube. "We made more Youtube videos last night, it was that kind of drunken night ... I'll post them when I get the links and Jenny edits out all the parts where I ask her to show her breasts...." If anybody needs me, I'm going to go hang myself in the garage.
All the Rest:
Ah yes, another weekend has come and gone and so here we are on a Monday morning looking back at what occurred this weekend. Though he has yet to swing by my place and pick up his bag o' gifts, Abe finally got around to celebrating his birthday this weekend with his family. In fact, it was yesterday that he finally slipped on over to his mom's house to have a party in which he had full control of the guest list as he demanded otherwise the party would have been a no go. One of the recurring gifts that he got a ton of was Duke's mayo (I'm assuming he moved on to Duke's after being snubbed in that King of Mayo contest that he entered but did not win.) We came to learn (though it feels like he's been talking about it on the show for like months now,) Abe has moved on to Duke's full time for the last month or so. Angi assumed he was a Hellmann's man and I think that was true prior but with a name like Duke, you know Abe is just going to want to go and lay with it. As for other gifts he received, Abe got a bunch of Jersey Mike's gift cards and Dunkin' gift cards. This, in my mind, is ideal because these are gifts he would actually use and make birthday gifts worthwhile. Angi went on to explain that Abe now falls into typecasting and so because people know he likes/talks about certain things (mayo, subs, coffee,) they are more inclined to buy him gifts of that nature. For Angi, she once had a phase where she liked llamas and so she would get llama everything. She got mugs, towels, plushies, probably an actual llama, etc. The same thing happened with Prince and now she literally has a Prince room in her house stuffed to the brim with all the Prince stuff she had gotten because people knew of her love for him. There was another wrinkle in the fact that Abe likes a certain thing that came about because of his mention. It's a blueberry tort that his aunt makes and because people know he likes it, he's forced to love it now. Angi had a similar incident with her grandmother and she was forced to endure it as well. For Abe, the tort has become a literal spectacle where they have him turn the corner and present it like it's a treasured prize. That said, the last bit of discussion here is about time and aging. For Abe, time doesn't really matter all that much and in his mind, 40 is no different than say 20. That said, he would rather be 20 then 40 but only with the advanced knowledge that he has obtained in 40 years as opposed to who he was and what he knew at 20. Angi wasn't a fan of the concept because at 20 she was crazy. Abe explained that there would be a brain swap though and that was the relevant part of all this. Personally, I see where he's coming from because with that much knowledge inserted into a younger you, outcomes could be changed in your own life even if you couldn't change what had led to the outcomes prior and fix the events upon which you became you.
He's some food for thought. You might be working with a psychopath and you may not even know it. In fact, 1 in 22 is considered a psychopath. High up on this list is ... yep, you guessed it, radio personalities/hosts. This obviously makes sense because Abe is out of his mind and Angi has started to show the cracks in her nice lady smoke show that she has been holding up for the last 10 months now. Going back, consider the fact that if you work inside of a large company, there are probably a lot of psychopaths buried within the building (or at least burying bodies in the basement of that building.) Going back to radio, the rationale behind why the people who are hosting actually makes a lot of sense. They were rejected in high school, they probably never got laid and they end up hating women. Abe recalled back in the day when they would have Hooters girls in the studio in the 2000's and they would just be mean to them and treat them completely awful. Gee, the fun stuff you used to get away with back in the day before metoo, how unfortunate. Anyway, the list of psychopath jobs breaks down like this. CEO, Lawyer, TV/Radio Personality, Sales Person, Surgeon, Journalist, Priest, Police Officer, Chef and Politician. A few of these raised eyebrows and small conversation pieces because it's weird to see them on the list (like priests but let's be realistic, all that kid touching makes sense when you consider things.) Angi was still obsessed with the radio personality thing and explored it further. Over in the iHeart building, there are 6 stations and Angi and Abe are most definitely sure of 2 of the people being literal psychopaths. Abe went on to point out that he does not want a psycho doctor to work on him (which makes sense.) What the common thing that could be noticed is that a lot of these psychopath jobs are all inclined to be pushed toward ego. As for the least psychopath jobs, they break down to this. Social Worker, Nurse, Therapist, Craftsperson, Beautician, Charity Worker, Teacher, Creative Artist, Doctor, Accountant. As you can see, most of these jobs are "good human" jobs which again makes sense because you're doing things to help others here for the most part and not further your own career or agenda. Abe says that he knows a lot of psychopaths which makes sense with the company he keeps. As for the listeners, they wanted truck drivers and musicians added to the list. I agree with musicians but I don't really see truck drivers making a lot of sense.
Finally, in today's Drunk Ninja News!, we were taught a very easy way that a person can lose friends and go to jail. Today's Drunk Ninja was a 45 year old in Florida (big shocker there) named James. He was out drinking with his male friend and two women. They left the bar and headed back to their hotel at 2:30 in the morning. On the way to it, one of the women passed out. A solution was devised, throw her drunk ass in a wheelbarrow and push her around. This worked for a time until James decided to get mean and while lobbing insults, he poured a beer all over the passed out girl (seems like having more to drink was a smart idea.) Anyway, James ended up getting into a fight with his buddy on top of the other belligerent behavior. In the tussle, he ended up knocking over both of the women and while scuffling with the friend on the floor, bit off part of his ear. The cops came and arrested James with aggravated battery and there was no mention of if the bitten off part of the ear was found or not. Abe was curious as to why they didn't tazer this raging lumox but honestly, with as drunk and of control as he was, it probably would not have helped things much.
Request Wars 2.0:
Champion: Abe (Streak: 1)
Angi's (repping Canadian Konrad) Song Choice: "Bombtrack"
Abe's (repping Dr. of Dance) Song Choice: "Bad Company"
Observation: Angi rightfully dumped all over Five Finger Dork Punch and let's be realistic, who wants to hear that trash. That said, Abe was pretty convincing in showcasing how he takes in people from the cold and represents their garbage song choices. I'm torn here.
Winner: Abe
10 o' Clock Toast:
Koala's. They give you chlamydia and are apparently not as amazing as we are led to believe.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
Quote: "That's what it means to be 40, getting a bunch of mayo for your bday." - Angi
Quote: "They poop all the time on the ground at Walmart." - Abe
Quote: "I wouldn't mind a lemon tree ... do you have to water it all the time?" - Abe
Quote: "If I didn't eat so much mayo, I could wear a 1x" - Abe
Quote: "Please don't ever ... EVER ... listen to this show for any facts." - Angi