This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
That's it you guys, it's finally happened (for the 50th or so time this year already.) Angi and Abe have had it up to here (imagine my hand touching the ceiling) with people and today, they want to complain about it. It started with the parking garage over there at the iHeart building, where Angi and Abe have been nothing but good. They have their spots properly aligned, they park meticulously, they are able to get in and out with relative ease. The same can not be said of everyone else, to the effect of basically saying that anyone who attempts to use the pay station is a moron. Like, they see the pay station and they just go slack jawed stupid, needing to call for help for a task that is beyond simple. Why must these people torture this woman, all she wants to do is get in to go to work and make five quick trips to the corner liquor store each morning for more wine and scratchies. This raised a point that clearly needed to not only be addressed but also dissected. What are other places that, when encountered, people can't help but suddenly become absolutely stupid? Angi offered up the airport, with all those gate lizards who don't know where they are going. Before you ask, apparently gate lizards are a thing according to Angi. If you haven't heard the term before, just go with it, she's already pissed off enough. Abe's problem is those people who get off the escalator and just stop when they get to the top. Get moving you idiots, he doesn't have time for this. What else, well there's McDonald's, where people come in knowing what they want and it still takes them six hours to order. They don't understand how to use the kiosk, it's not that hard people. What they're trying to say is that if you're under 50, good god, you should be able to do something. If you don't, then go hop on Youtube and watch a video to learn how to do it. People on the street, don't hog the sidewalk when you're walking. Oh and if you're on the phone, keep moving because if these two bump into you, they will push and not think twice about it. Btw, don't even think of texting Abe a question because Google exists and he will publicly shame you. Taking to the phones, Angi talked to Cooper who complained about how dumb people get when they need to change a tire. This gave Abe the chance to once again tout out how amazing he is at changing a tire. Just because he can do it though doesn't mean he enjoys it. Abe hates being on his knees so much, he has to put two lifejackets on the floor to cushion him when he does anything requiring him to be on his knees (mind wander, cackle.) One last thing before I go, Abe also hates small flimsy jacks, he wants and needs a big one. So if you're a Jack, you'd better be over 6'2 or you're not making the cut it seems.
All the Rest:
As we know, it is the 4th of July weekend and there is a ton going on. It will be hot, we will be drunk, there will be people blowing off their fingers and of course, there will be BBQing. Angi is referring to real BBQ, not that trash that you're getting at Arby's (RIP potato cakes, maybe, I dunno check The Slob Show to find out.) Angi brought forth a list to feed us, that being where to find the best BBQ. Number 1 was Kansas City but it was Chicago landing it at number 2 that was the shocker. Before giving out the rest of the list, Angi asked Abe for his favorite BBQ place. He responded first with Famous Daves but Angi seemed to raise a knife in the background so he gave his actual answer. The Would be Q BBQ in La Grange. Angi's choice would be Bub City, in case you were curious. This took us for a trip down Abe's memory lane, where the stories are meandering and things get weird very quickly. He began pining for and expressing his love of the old Red Barrel restaurant. Yes, it still exists now but he meant the old one. This place had everything: all you can eat ribs, bunny rabbits living in the walls, arcade machines. Wait, stop, pause ... bunny rabbits in the wall? This idea sent Angi and she just couldn't handle the idea of rabbits shoved in a wall. Abe explained it was like the zoo but no, she did not want it so he was getting no satisfaction for faded memory. Angi went on to showcase that no animals should be living in a restaurant and Abe tried to rebuttal. He showcased that urban bunnies are essentially screwed. Cats will eat them, the rats will eat them, there's no saving them. Hell, even the cats are essentially screwed as the rats are eating them as well. Speaking of eating, we almost got back to discussing the rest of the places but Abe had to mention about collecting rib bones and a smoking woman glaring at them. Anyway, it's the weekend so let's finish this up, shall we. Third was Houston, followed by Cincinnati, Memphis, Louisville, St. Louis, New York, Minneapolis and Overland Park. Cool, finally I'm done and can go make a drink ... oh goddamn it, Abe wants to complain again. Attacking Minneapolis, he explained that he hates it but could give no reason as to why aside from the Twins, the weather and everything else it encompasses (mind you, he's never been there but still.)
Request Wars:
Current Champion: Marissa
Champion Song Choice: "Dig"
Challenger Song Choice: "Blue on Black"
Observation: Marissa continues her reign of terror from work, smacking dudes down left and right. I commenced my reign of holiday drinking so I think we need something loud.
Winner: Marissa
Don't Kill Angi Weekly Recap:
This week, Angi was trapped in a dungeon with Chad Kroeger.
Mon: Chris had Angi remain drug free, which Chad Kroger found admirable and so Chad let Angi live.
Tue: Jack had Angi pass the check for the surf and turf bucket dinner and Chad was pleased by this, allowing Angi to live again.
Wed: Jimmy the Bull had Angi pee on the floor instead of in her dinner bucket, which enraged Chad Kroeger and caused him to beat her to death with the bucket.
Thur: Kristina had Angi tell Chad Kroeger a story about meeting Scott Stapp story and he got so mad, he drowned her in a pit of holy water.
Fri: Paul had Angi beat Chad Kroeger with Avril Lavinge's skateboard and used it to slit his throat.
10 o' Clock Toast:
Angi's Right Titty, Lazy Susan. Angi's getting surgery on Monday, bye 8 year head sized titties, hello new fist sized titties.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
Quote: "I hate when people ask me stuff." - Abe
Quote: "I don't like being on my knees so I have two life jackets in my trunk and I kneel on those." - Abe
Quote: "You know what I realized, all the cool people listen to this station." - Abe
Quote: "I just saw Trailer Trash Taylor shooting bottle rockets out her ass crack." - Minn Barb
Quote: "Why didn't Taylor jump out the window? She's a dog." - Minn Barb
New Head Roadie Alert! Congrats Jose, Head Roadie of Amazon Drivers