This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
Here on The Angi Taylor Show, we pride ourselves on unpacking and revealing the most intimate part of our lives. Abe's sexuality, my chain link fence story and now, the death of Angi's double d's. That's right, the thrilling saga of Deflategate '21 took a complete turn into revelation and discussion this morning as Angi finally revealed what she's going to do about her broken titty. Oh, you're not aware of what's happening, well let me break it all down for you. So Angi has implants (I know, shocking right) and they are too big (said no one ever.) As stated above, the girls are double d's but Angi feels like her covid 15 all went to them as well and made them bigger. Anyway, this all started in the bathtub the other day where she noticed that her right boob had ruptured. Luckily, they're saline so it doesn't matter that it's flowing into her as she'll pee it right out. However, they are looking a bit messy, like one is a banana peel and the other is a porn star. Abe assumed that the destruction of Mount St. Titties was caused when Angi was on a Slip N' Slide (insert eyeroll.) Angi's assumption is that restless life syndromed Jay the Straight popped it again (that poor man, dealing with all this hate.) However, it's become very obvious to her that it was a slow leak. Yesterday, Angi had to host an event for the Serenity Foundation and she ended up going through three dresses to try to make it look nice. After the event, the boob, dubbed Lazy Susan, actually called in to Palmer's Show and gave plenty of life advice as well, so it's not all bad. Anyway, Angi went to the doctor to have them checked out. It should be noted that she just got topless but not pantsless (as Abe assumed one does when they go to their breast surgeon.) The short of the long is she is having surgery on July 5th and both of the biggun's are being removed. However, even though she's going down to a C cup, she will also be getting a lift as well. The reason she's downsizing btw is because the older you get, the big ones start to go down. These new beauties are going to look like she's 22 again and will be so perky that they'll touch her chin. She's not excited about the surgery aspect but Jay the Straight is thrilled (probably because he won't have to deal with her for a little bit.) He was happy though when she initially got them, which came from a large tax return and an offer of either a vacation or boobs. The one thing about the surgery she is excited for though is that her favorite thing in the world is going under. For Angi, it's an absolutely restful sleep and she totally vibes with Michael Jackson on why he loved it. Abe explained that she's essentially Michael Jackson in that she loves Jesus Juice, Propofol and getting surgeries (stretching on that last one Abe.) So it's two more weeks of being lopsided and then she can stop being National Geographic on one side and Jenna Jameson on the other. While Abe does agree that she will look better, he thinks that she will look weird (I'm assuming because she has boobs to begin with.) Abe wondered what she would end up doing with the removed implants and then suggested that she give them to John the Stalker. He was also curious as to whether or not Jay the Straight would get one last hurrah with her "throwback titties" as he likes to call them. Unfortunately there will be no ceremony, in fact she doesn't even want to take her shirt off in front of him. It probably doesn't help that someone is yelling "shame" and ringing a bell behind her on Michigan Ave as well. Going to the phones, Squirts player Trashman Tim called to shame Angi for getting them downgraded. He had wanted to give her a big pervy hug while she still had the big girls. Then of course, John the Stalker called in to say that he met Angi before she corrected him to mention that he stalked her. John said he wanted the good boob for his collection before throwing back to yesterday to make fun of Abe's bad writing. Angi said he could have the set, which will go on his mantle next to his Hannibal Lecter mask and the other women that he has killed. I will say Angi summed it up best by saying that her job literally pays her to discuss her tits, what a life indeed.
All the Rest:
Normally I like to pick a discussion topic as my main point of the day but Angi's boobs were too important to pass up. That said, one of the two discussion topics of the day involved hacking. This is something but Angi, Abe and myself are all too familiar with. She decided on this because a woman recently received 150 Amazon packages on her doorstep. It turned out that they were all filled with covid masks and she did an amazing thing by donating all of them to a local hospital. Angi had the biggest brunt of the insane hacking come her way. Someone once broke into her Amazon account and used it to buy a massive industrial AC unit. This thing was huge and cost $10,000, which is crazy because Angi was only made aware of it due to the Amazon driver calling her when they intended to deliver it. It turns out that the person who hacked her ordered it and then attempted to call the delivery place to have the address changed so they could pick it up and not get got. Luckily, it was caught and Amazon didn't charge Angi for the massive bill that the a-hole brought on. Another time, someone hacked into Angi's Netflix account and watched a ton of drag queen shows in Spanish. She only noticed this because her suggested content had gone nuts because of it. On an unrelated note, sorry about that one Angi.... Oh, she's also had her TJ Maxx account hacked as well. As for Abe, he once had his Paypal account hacked and had thousands of dollars stolen out of it. Lucky for him as well, Abe was able to get that money back as well. Abe then went on to explain that there is a new scam going on that when you get hacked, the person will wait outside your house and grab the package when it's delivered. They also will just sometimes rent an air bnb and send the stuff there. Moving to the phones, they spoke to Alexis who at 18, had waitressed all summer to buy her mom an iPad. Her account got hacked from someone on the East coast who tried to use the money to buy a car. Luckily for her, they refunded the money and she did buy her mom that iPad. Unfortunately for Aaron, he did not have the same luck when someone got into his bank account, ordered a new debit card and then started to toss stolen checks into his account. All that laundered money ended up costing him $7,000 that he had to pay back as well as a ton of problems. As for myself, I've had my debit card skimmed twice at a local bank twice on their garbage ATM's and had fraud charges made, so lucky me. This ended with a message from Abe, suggesting that hackers should be punched in the face. Angi was not so bold in the proclamation as she did not want to get hacked. She did agree though that certain people should be punched in the face, if not hackers then definitely people who are mean to old people.
So you know how it goes, you're driving around and you get stuck in traffic. You happen to glance over to your side and you see a car and just the sight of the car makes you aware that they are an a-hole. There's a top 5 list and when asked to muster a guess, Abe came up with a red minivan. He just knows those ladies inside them (we call them Karen's Abe,) are just bitches. Plus any car with a baby on board sign or a picture of a family, apparently those people are awful too. Angi's against those people who have honor student bumper stickers. Returning to topic though, her pick to hate on was anyone driving a hummer. She also has a huge dislike toward the new Chargers as they are annoyingly loud, like the loudest car on the street. Anyway, the list of top 5 breaks down like this.
1. BMW - If you search why are BMW owners, you will get hated, arrogant, idiots.
2. Audi - This is due to their rampant tailgating.
3. White Vans - If you own one, you are either a kidnapper or a rapist.
4. Range Rover
5. Ford - Due to the sheer number of them and of course, there's probably a murderer driving a white Bronco.
Finally, the other big discussion turned toward events. Now that we're returning to live events, people find themselves thinking about ones they wished they'd seen live. This also presented a list of the Top 10:
10. Woodstock.
9. The Spice Girls reuniting at The Olympics.
8. Lady Gaga's Super Bowl Halftime Show.
7. James Brown at The Apollo in 1963.
6. JLo and Shakira's Super Bowl Halftime Show.
5. Prince's Super Bowl Halftime Show.
4. The Rolling Stones in Hyde Park in 1969.
3. The Beatles Rooftop Show in 1969.
2. Elton John performing "Candle in the Wind" at Princess Diana's funeral.
1. Whitney Houston performing "The Star Spangled Banner" at the Super Bowl.
So Angi was curious, what shows would the roadies have loved to have seen? Abe would have wanted to see Pink Floyd reunite at Live Aid. There was also the 2007 Led Zeppelin reunion in the UK, where they even played Stairway to Heaven. He was actually almost convinced to go but he assumed that they would tour again. As for Angi, she would have loved to see Queen play their famous Live Aid set. Turning to the phones, Monica was sad that she never got to see Soundgarden at least once. Josh wished he was at the MTV Video Awards when Aerosmith played with Run DMC. Harry Caray's Ghost called in to say he wished he was at Woodstock but he was announcing for the White Sox instead. Jason wished he had seen two Metallica shows, the one where they played for a million people in Russia and the one in Canada where Axl Rose caused a riot Courtney would have loved to have been at Nirvana's MTV Unplugged show. Mike would have wanted to see Jimi Hendrix burn his guitar. Mark was supposed to see Led Zeppelin when they played Chicago in 1980, the same with Abe's mom who still has her uncut ticket. Over in the FB show group, Joe wanted to see Jimi Hendrix play "The Star Spangled Banner'' at Woodstock. As for Rick, he would have loved to see Black Sabbath with the four original members.
Request Wars:
Current Champion: Kylie
Champion Song Choice: "See You on the Other Side"
Challenger Song Choice: "Sugar"
Observation: Well, that was doodie. Seriously, I've seen kids on the playground talk better smack. What a disappointing waste of what is probably my favorite System song. Kylie is the clear winner (at least smack wise today.)
Winner: Kylie
10 o' Clock Toast:
Khloe Kardashian. She broke up with Trystan Thompson yet again. She is better than him and don't worry about him, care about yourself.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
"If anybody's had penis reattachment surgery, please tell us how that works." - Angi
"I don't wanna go anywhere but Vegas or somewhere I'm not going to get stabbed." - Abe
"You know, men with puppets, sick." - Angi
"That's why you (Abe) love him (Uncle Joey from Full House) because he has puppets and a big dong?" - Angi
"When I died, he (Abe) played 'Celebration.'" - Angi
"We need to call your begging segment something else." - Angi
PSAbe: Can someone open up a poker room that has poker tournaments.