This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
Okay, it's time to humble ourselves a little bit, after all we're in the midweek slump and so feeling bad should be at an all time high. So, Angi is looking to find something that you are willing to admit that you absolutely suck at. This thought was spawned from a study that showcased 1 in 4 American's saying that they are bad at parallel parking. Wanna get even darker, 1 in 10 are willing to go further and say they are absolutely terrible at it. Okay, before I continue on, make sure you read this next part in a whisper in your head. Jay the Straight is the 1 in 10 but as long as you don't say it aloud or if Angi blinds him with scissors so he can't read this, he'll never know that we know. Anyway, on to our hosts. Abe, well he's just awful at being a boyfriend when it comes to activities. He hates making plans, doing stuff, letting his girlfriend actually come over, etc. Angi, well she can't seem to keep things alive. That's right, she is terrible at gardening. Abe did come to realize though that he used to be bad at building things but is now an expert. Why just the other day he put together some IKEA chairs and a grill as well. According to Angi he wasn't bad at this stuff, he's just never done it before. He went on to explain how he assembled this grill with no assistance, using his own big strong arm to hold it up while he tightened things nuts and bolts in place. Roadie Blade called in to tell us that he was bad at DARE, the anti drug program of our youth. He just can't seem to say no to drugs, with psychedelics being his vice of choice. Angi's usage of DARE was to help her discern which drugs she should actually be on. Abe started singing the DARE song because he knows it by heart for whatever reason. Trucker Jim called in to rub it in that he's great at everything. After hanging up on him, Angi decided he was bad at humility. Rene is bad at getting to work on time. In fact, he was 10 minutes late today. For him, getting up and just getting the day started is always an issue. Head Roadie Troy is bad at lying to his wife about buying chrome for his motorcycle. Of course, Abe brought up chaps because who didn't expect that to happen. The conversation ceased after Abe started rambling on about his incredibly amazing lighted Angi Taylor Memorial Toilet at The Ivory Tower. We get it, the thing cleans front to back and plays music, can we move on. As for me, I'm really bad at saying "no." For example, "Yes, I'll write a research paper for you." "Yes, chasing Boone's Farm with Captain sounds like an amazing idea." "Yeah, I can definitely fit all those in my mouth."
All the Rest:
So, Angi is headed to the Sox game today which only means trouble (I'm assuming, I know her well enough to fear this.) This is relevant because there is a video floating around from yesterday (I think) of a bunch of girls fighting each other at the game. In fact, when I saw the video last night, I just assumed it was Angi because as I said, trouble. Though there was no exact confirmation that it wasn't her in the video, it did open to a discussion. Abe was curious as to if Angi has ever been in a fight. She has and the one she decided to mention was a time she was working at a club (behind the bar, not on the pole.) She happened to be dating the guy who was the DJ there (you can already guess where this is going.) A skanky whore was attempting to talk to the DJ while also provoking Angi because that's what skank whores do. Angi had enough and proceeded to take the girl outside and beat her something stupid. Angi knocked her over, jumped on top of her and it was full on ground and pound, punches and slapping, no hair pulling. After pinning her down with those lovely thighs and getting her fill of bloodlust, Angi was finally pulled off. Not only did Angi win the fight, the girl never came back to the club and Angi ended up back with the DJ for another year (classy.) For some reason, this reminded me of that episode ofBar Rescuewhere those two girls who worked at a bar took each other outside and beat one another stupid in front of Jon Taffer, good times. Anyway, Angi had a second story where she had to whoop some ass. This was a push fight with table rats who were attempting to steal drinks and men from her table. Mind you, these people were couples but bar pigs have no shame. Angi was having none of it, told them to cut the ish and when the snark came back, the Serbian came out. She shoved the girl to the ground and said "get out of here bitch!" I guess the overall moral of this whole story is never come between Angi and a bottle of liquor.
In other random news, Mr. T cereal has dug itself out of the obscure marketed product graveyard and is back from the dead. Excited more than she probably should have been, Angi was inspired by this news. What she sought to find out was if there was a food item that you could dig up from the past and drag it back to the present, what would it be. For whatever reason, this whole thing felt like a plea to McDonald's to bring things back. For Angi, she would probably stab someone for a MCDLT. Abe wants the Arch Deluxe back, more than likely because he really loved the sauce. They also talked up McDonald's University, the place where you can pretty much get any variation of McDonald's food items, aside from, you know, the things Angi and Abe want. Newly christened Head Roadie Eric would probably kill someone if he could get a Rally's over in Lake Shafer. Next up on Angi's proverbial food spank list was Dunkaroos, the cookie and frosting dipping fun that she did not realize actually came back last summer. In fact, they not only relaunched that but a slew of other Dunkaroo related products as well (she was thrilled when I informed her via text.) Back to McDonald's, Ed's mouth watered at the thought of the apple and cherry pies that were deep fried returning. Oh delicious heart wrecking fun foods, if only we knew you would disappear one day. Metalhead Mark wants some Costco Cowboy Caviar, which is some type of dip that has beans and sauce. Sean wants so badly the return of Coney dogs over at A&W. Hitting up Twitter, we got another McDonald's plea, this time from Head Roadie Shannon who wants the hot mustard back bad. As for me, even though I'm sure it's pure nostalgia at this point, I'd choke someone out for some Butterfinger BB's and recently discontinued but absolutely incredible Reese's Spread.
Lastly, Abe had a brush with death the other day because on a show that should be called Final Destination, these two are cheating death daily. Today's go round in the wheel of death was Abe, who was almost killed the other day on the expressway (at this rate, neither of them should probably be driving ever again.) So, as Abe was driving along talking to iHeartMedia Traffic Guy Dan Levy aka Bass (get to know the name because if you're listening to the pod, you'll hear it alot.) Anyway, a dude was driving in an SUV next to Abe and was speeding in the shoulder. That's when things got hairy, as the SUV started to tap the car to the left of him. This btw was all occurring only 7 feet in front of Abe. After the tap, the SUV started swerving into all the lanes, hitting 3 cars which caused one to do a 360 and made the SUV hit the wall. After that, the SUV still took off, leaving a huge accident scene as well as a debris field. It turned out that the SUV was either being shot at or fleeing a shooting according to Dan Levy aka Bass, iHeartMedia Traffic Guy. The point is, Abe was shocked, something like this has never happened to him before. Telling his near death story made her recount her own from Friday where a deer almost ended her on the expressway as well. In mentioning that, they also discovered that the show is number 1 in cheating death, yet another accomplishment for a fairly new station. I should add that neither of these two are about that dying life and they are afraid that the axe is getting way too close. I personally have to agree, not because I don't want to co-host the show (for which I'm contractually obligated) but because I don't want to have to go to another wake anything soon (and I'm still in my mourning veil as is.) Telling this story made Abe recall the time when he was a kid when he saw a car get hit by a train but he was more interested in his Egg McMuffin (where are you sponsoring, we're clearly hungry for it.) Roadie Santiago called in to tell a story about how he was cruising with his boys in the city when they started getting tailgated. It seemed this car was hell bent on hitting Santiago and his friends. It would end up veering off and hitting another parked car instead. It seems the intent was ill will but the case of a drunk driver. We ended this tale of almost vehicular manslaughter by Abe explaining that scumbags love to take junk cars and smash into fancy cars with them. Also, Angi always seems to end up next to people who always want to race her.
Request Wars:
Current Champion: Danielle
Challenger Song Choice: "Fell on Black Days"
Champion Song Choice: "Cryin' Like a Bitch"
Observation: Another day, another mess where some jobber cancels at the last minute. People if you're going to play Request Wars, for the love of god be prepared. That said, the stories told were better than the smack talk today. This week has been a bust all around so far.
Winner: Danielle
The 8:30 Call Out:
Nathan called out his dad for wanting to go camping when he was supposed to help watch his kids.
Abe called out Vinny's Sub for giving him a ton of mayo on his sandwich and explained what extra mayo entailed.
Lisa called out her vile boss for watering down the botox at work and for ripping off a dementia patient.
10 o' Clock Toast:
Sgt. Slaughter. He retweeted Abe's picture and responded to him. (Christ, this is going to last days, isn't it?)
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
Quote: "Everyone hates Vince Neil" - Abe
Quote: "Troy, do you wear the chaps and everything?" - Abe
Quote: "You (Angi) ruined my sports yesterday by mentioning things like that, red rocket...." - Abe
Quote: "If you fight at a baseball game, you need to reevaluate your entire life." - Abe
Duo Quote:
"I suck at gardening." - Angi
"Who's good at it?" - Abe
"Gardeners." - Angi