This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
So, we love to mix the morbid with the absurd on this show and today's was a perfect example of that. Angi began today's vague semblance of a discussion topic by explaining that when you're on death row in South Carolina, you're allowed to pick how you want to die. In something that feels akin to the chicken or fish option, you're given the option of firing squad or electric chair. Even though both of these are not particularly desirable, you have to settle for one. Angi decided on a firing squad as she felt the whole thing would be quicker and prettier overall. Right off the bat though, Abe was already giving Angi grief for her choice. Angi, in turn, explained to Abe that an electric chair is going to end up being worse. It's messy, painful, ugly and will end up taking a few rounds of that sweet electricity to cook your brain. Bypassing the given options, Abe explained that he wants to have his head chopped off. This led Angi to create a second question, which is if your head is lopped off, do you run around like a chicken once it's done? Abe moved on from the chicken/beheading point to exactly where you are shot when you are gunned down via firing squad. His thing is he doesn't want to die like Scarface did because his assumption is when you're firing squaded, they treat you like you're a target practice board. On the flip side, I feel like that happens alot in these discussions, would you actually want to survive the electrocucion. "Opps, we didn't cook your brain enough, part is still cold. Let's wipe that drool off and get back to supercharging your mental core." What's even worse, what happens if they figure out you're innocent after all this mess goes down (this actually does happen.) So, after all the detours we finally got a definitive answer, they both would want to die by firing squad. The last pieces of this topic involved discussion about whether or not the family is allowed to watch this spectacle when this all goes down. Angi would not want to see it happen, Abe would end up donning his spartan outfit (the one for his wake) and run into the bullets. Like literally swinging a sword, yelling and charging into the gun fire. A literal knife to a gun fight scenario. The roadies had some input in on this as well. Head Roadie Erin explained that you don't run around like a chicken if your head is cut off. Mike explained that when in a firing squad, only one person has a live round to take you down and none of them know who does (to bypass murder guilt.) A voicemail accidentally sent to the company's voicemail explained that when you lose your head, you are still alive and aware for five seconds (so let's hope someone leaves a magazine in your guillotine bucket.) As for me, after all this all I can think about is drawing myself a nice bath after the show (and tossing in my plugged in toaster, christ.)
All the Rest:
Today's double down topic has to do with TV shows as Angi's fixation with programs continues once again. Today, she dipped into her Discovery Plus bag to bring up a show about otters. Apparently, this is the Game of Thrones of the animal kingdom. The show revolves around three different clans and each of them fight each other. So it's not exactlyGame of Thrones(she never watched it) and more every medieval show ever made basically (or like a Real Housewives type thing.) This is comfort TV, something she can just get high and watch without thought. She happens to love all that junk when stoned though.Blue Planet,Meerkat Manor, that show where the TV is just fuzzy and she's passed out on the cough, all great ones. Abe then explained how the pair should go to the zoo after the show one day. He doesn't mess with lions (unless they have huge balls or something) but Angi hates zoo's in general so I guess this is another Angi Taylor Show field trip that is never going to happen. As for the secondary show discussion, this one involved ESPN and their upcoming Derek Jeter multi part series. It's going to be likeThe Last Dancebut with baseball, which imo sounds just incredibly boring (Derek Jeter reminds me of a wooden board.) Angi had the same idea in mind (kinda, probably, whatever) and said she'd much rather see a series based around all the women that he banged. This led to a discussion about how when he used to hit hot strange left and right back then, he would send them home with a gift basket after the driver dropped them off. It contained what you would expect, which I'm assuming was chocolate, a signed baseball, plan b, probably an NFT of his junk, etc. Either way, Angi will probably end up watching it as she loves to dive deep into documentaries. Speaking of dumb shows, has been rapper Lil Jon is also getting a show. This will be on HGTV and he will be renovating homes. It doesn't matter if he's qualified, as long as your career is in the toilet and you're willing to play ball, you can have a show. Again, since Angi loves and has seen every dumb show, you know she'll probably be glued to that mess as well.
Taking to the phones, Pulled Over John called back in today. If you're unfamiliar, he was the main topic of yesterday's show for literally getting pulled over. After some lovely sweet talk by Angi and Abe, he was able to escape the clutches of the Schererville police department without much hassle. Backtracking some more, in case you missed the show and or didn't read the notes (if you didn't do either, what's wrong with you btw!) John was pulled over for not having plates on his car. In his defense, he was trying to get to class (he's a teacher) and I'm assuming that the car he stole was fresh off the lot (or something.) Anyway, he called in to thank the show for getting him out of a ticket but he did end up with 2 warnings. The first was for talking on the phone (which is comical as he actually handed it over to the officer to talk to Angi and Abe.) The second was obviously for an improper display of plates. Well diving more into John's life, we were told he's a teacher but not what he teaches or where. He also kept us in the dark as to what grade he teaches. Also kept in the dark were the students, who were not told of his grand police adventure yesterday when he arrived. Anyway, after all the spectacle of yesterday, it was deemed today that the Schererville police are good with the show now. Speaking of good, Angi and Abe technically did a good deed in that they saved John a bunch of money. He now owes the show a debt of gratitude, which will probably be repaid in helping clean up Angi after a bender I'm assuming or carpeting Abe's Ivory Tower bedroom. He suggested he may go as far for an Angi Taylor tattoo, which would match Jay the Straight, who has her initial tattooed on him. That's right, just the letter A, which we found out this morning may actually stand for Abe ... scandalous!
Finally, in another throwback, a discussion of the big nose/big hose study was brought back up. I guess the point here was for us to feel for these poor schlubs and their gigantic problems (cough cough eyeroll.) Abe probably should be included in that list as he is carrying 20 pounds of sausage in his period pants. Anyway, Angi brought up Jonah Falcon, the 13 inch loser who has a sports show, has been on Howard Stern where he made out with George Takei and thinks he deserves to be an actor. However, because of his massive problem, he actually feels that he is handicapped and that his acting has suffered for it. The hilarity in a guy with a huge wang being delusional that it is the cause of his poor acting and not the fact that he sucks is hysterical. To tie into his disability, he gets light headed when he's aroused but then again who doesn't (wait, that's not common ... hmm, I have a call to make after this.) Also roped into this mess is Roberto Cabrera who has a whopping 18 inches and is on disability because it's too much. He can't wear a work uniform and women just don't want to do him. Of course, he has yet to meet Mrs. Taylor, who is an adventurer and would attempt to climb Mt. Saint Dong. You see, she's a woman who doesn't back down from a challenge. They wondered what would happen if you died attempting something like this though (impalement?) and how you would explain it to your family. Anyway, I guess the point of all this was because Angi feels bad about these guys (she really doesn't) and I'm still wondering when Abe plans on signing up for disability.
Request Wars:
Current Champion: Chris
Challenger Song Choice: "Polly"
Champion Song Choice: "Black"
Observation: Christ, that was kind of mediocre and bordering on bad. Even the song choices are not anything to write home about. Shrug.
Winner: WAM
The 8:30 Call Out:
Angi called out the scarlet letter that was left on her car after it was booted.
Rebecca called out her friend for being passive aggressive in her texting.
Velvet called out her employer for not properly acknowledging talent.
10 o' Clock Toast:
Lollapalooza. It's happening and the lineup was announced live on the show.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
Quote: "If you're a criminal and listening on the iHeart app, move out of South Carolina." Abe
Quote: "No one who has ever had their head cut off has been able to tell us what they saw." - Abe