This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
On this show, you should be used to me mentioning that both the hosts are in a constant battle with cheating death. There's a reason I said their band should be called "Final Destination" and that wasn't only because this is the only place your dial should be set to for eternity. In the ever spinning circle of who almost bit the big one today, the honors went to ... Abe. You see, there's an escalator at work but it is never turned on by the time Abe gets into the building. In fact, they probably wait until after he's arrived to actually fire it up on purpose. It should be showcased that there is also no staircase that leads to the studio, just the escalator and the death trap elevator. Since it's not turned on, the escalator is essentially stairs for Abe. Since he slept like crap last night, Abe had to get himself a large Dunkin' iced coffee this morning. Feeling chipper, coffee in hand, Abe somehow tripped walking up the escalator this morning. His fall resulted in a cut on his leg that seemingly got worse as the show went on. To deal with the fall, Abe had to put down his coffee. It should be noted by the way that Abe did not laugh about this self induced fall, even though his favorite thing is laughing at people who fall. When he finally picked his coffee back up, it turns out there was a hole in the bottom of the cup. This stupid cup then began spraying everywhere, kind of like the massive gash in his leg. Once he was able to stop both leakages, Abe had to use his snot rags to clean up the floor. On top of that, Abe was covered in coffee and blood and smelled like coffee and copper. In other words, Abe was an absolute mess when he rolled into the studio. Angi suggested that Abe simply take the elevator which elicited the shock and appall you've come to expect from Abe when anything rational is mentioned. The escalator is apparently dangerous but this fall down was a first for Abe. When it was all said and done, Abe just really needed his large black iced coffee. Followup: The leg is bleeding. Followup 2: The leg is probably going to be lost. Followup 3: The leg fell off, Angi is fitting him with a peg which makes sense as we all know how much Abe is into pegging.
All the Rest:
Today was another momentous day for not only us listeners (as we got to hear an interesting interview) but also Abe who tore a hole right through his sweatpants and gave himself a dry rub as his boyfriend Drew Lachely McIntyre checked back in. He opened by letting us know that he is indeed doing fabulous, currently sitting in sunny Florida and preparing for his chance at the WWE championship once more at Wrestlemania Backlash. That's not all though, he also has a new book out which was the main reason he was checking in. After mentioning that they had checked in when he revealed he had covid, Drew said that he did have it but he beat it and he is fully vaccinated now. In fact, WWE is doing PSA's to make sure people get vaccinated. He hasn't seen his family in Ireland in a year and a half and he'd like to get us on track so he can. Of course, as Abe rode the rod, he had to mention that Drew follows him and probably reads his feed. Actually, Drew explained, he tends to watch it all day and sometimes he gets distracted by it. In fact, if he loses Sunday, it's because he was busy reading Abe's Twitter and not training properly. It was then brought up that Drew doesn't follow Angi and Abe called it a smart decision (boy, that will come back to bite Abe in the ass.) Turning to the book, Angi said that Drew was the cutest baby ever. As he is a massive beast of man now, when he was a baby he was so long. He was a stringbean that took a few months to become cute. In fact, his mom called him E.T. when he was a baby. As to what we will learn and take away from the book, what Angi and Abe sought was dark secrets. Drew explained that you'll learn everything. This was a book they wanted him to write, to get his story out there. He is very open about the highs and lows of his life and career. From being so high because he was chosen as Vince's favorite to hitting rock bottom by watching his mother suffer and eventually pass over Skype basically. There was drinking, burning the candle at both ends, his being cut from the WWE to his eventual return. This is a story of how he recovered and how he went from being a lost boy into the man that he is today. Abe expressed his disappointment at Drew not winning the title at Wrestlemania (and had to look for some tissues as well) and Drew followed up that he thought he would win but it just didn't happen. This was just another part of his story and in his mind, Lashley needed the win. It comes down to the real struggle of who he is, though he is confident he'll get the win at next year's Wrestlemania. He did say though that he intends to come into the studio once they are traveling again (clean up in all of Abe's aisles.) Abe once again touted out that Drew will keep following him on Twitter and made the bold proclamation that Drew will win the title back on Sunday. As I said, there is no happy ending for Abe here because low and behold, Dr. Drew McPinsky is now following Angi on Twitter as well.
As we all know, Doge Coin overlord Elon Musk is hostingSNLthis weekend and this has caused a ton of debate. Some people love the stunt casting, others think it's a terrible idea and some even think it's a great change of pace. Abe went on to praise the mogul, saying that the Doge King is the reason that a ton of people have money (that wouldn't otherwise.) Miley Cyrus is the musical guest btw so that makes it somewhat worthwhile. Angi doesn't think Elon is funny and it inspired her to share a list from Rolling Stone of the 10 WorstSNLhosts.
10. Adrien Brody - He tried too hard to be funny
9. Paris Hilton - She was disengaged the whole time.
8. Justin Bieber - This seems like a given
7. Michael Phelps - He was dopey, seemed to want it to be over.
6. Nancy Kerrigan - Angi was shocked she even was on the show.
5. Tom Green - He mostly did his own material.
4. Milton Berle
3. Frank Zappa - Goofed on the whole cast.
2. Donald Trump - Bad timing, it was all about his presidential campaign.
1. Steven Seagal - Was terrible all around, he almost quit mid episode.
Finally, after getting an update on Abe's leg being chopped off after going bad from his fall, we were treated to them ordering a peg for Abe's leg hole. Abe, in his absolute grief, complained again about Angi ruining all his relationships in the building. He was just having a horrible, terrible, no good, bad day. In fact, the only thing that cheered him up was hearing Drew McIntyre's name (which would get sullied when Abe found out he follows Angi now too.) Anyway, this led into a Buzzfeed list of celebs and whether they are cool or not. The coolest celeb according to them is Betty White which shocked Abe. He had expected to see The Rock or John Stamos on top (as opposed to them topping him.) Following her were Tom Hanks, Adele, and then The Rock. As for least cool celebrities, Kid Rock, Jeff Bezos, Ellen, Dr. Phil and Mel Gibson. Sure, this last part of the notes was filler but it's Friday, the show was tightly packed and honestly, we're all a bit checked out. Until next week, be well reader.
Request Wars:
Current Champion: Trystann
Challenger Song Choice: "War Pigs"
Champion Song Choice: "A Favor House Atlantic"
Observation: Two sisters enter, Trystann forgot her song again. Then it just got absolutely nasty (aside from a reused expressway joke for the 50th time.) This was a confusing mess of two sisters talking and I just don't even know who was who it was a lot.
Winner: Trystann
10 o' Clock Toast:
The Mother's. Happy Mother's Day ladies
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
Quote: "That's so sad that you (Angi) had to beg Drew McIntyre to follow you." - Abe
Quote: What's the worst way to kill somebody, I would do it (against the Paul brothers.) - Angi
Quote: "Hey job people, enough with the dumb questions." - Abe
Tidbit: PSAA: I am not Ticketmaster, Abe is not Ticketmaster.
Minn Barb Duo Quote:
Where's that Trashbag Taylor? - Minn Barb
"She ran down to CVS." - Abe
"Big sale on Plan B I heard." - Minn Barb
"The best gift Angi Taylor ever gave her mom was running away from home." - Minn Barb