This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
Way back in the day (which is how it feels now) or October if we need to be more specific, a morning show was born. Out of the crack infused shell rolled two idiots who were created to simply make our mornings the best. It was also at that time that in its infancy, The Angi Taylor Show started getting jail mail and plenty of it. There were letters, a Head Roadie of Federal Prison, Angi's super sexy boyfriend Nightmare. There was so much coming forward that two things happened. First, a wall was carved out in the office, specifically for jail mail and pictures from prison. The second was there was a theme tune created for what was supposed to be a regular segment. Then of course, covid probably killed off all the prisoners (even though The Angi Taylor Show is number 1 in state and federal prisons.) Anyway, much to everyone's surprise, jail mail arrived yesterday and so time had to be made today. All these months of longing paid off, we are finally back in business. This particular letter was from a girl named Corinne, who wanted to say good morning to everyone but that bitch Yvonne. Might I add btw, if your name is Murder and you are in jail and somehow reading this, please send a letter to Angi and Abe. Anyway, Corinne is in jail for another 322 days (as of the letter writing.) She finds the show to be nothing short of hilarious and all the girls in the prison listen (aside from that bitch Yvonne.) Yvonne btw smells like hot dog water, which is relevant because it made me laugh. Anyway, also buried in Corinne's letter (aside from the location of the bodies from the last radio station she liked probably) was a dual request for Angi. Corinne wants her to kick her in the crotch for real when she gets out of jail and could she play some AC/DC. Prison apparently has not been too bad for her, as she has not had to shave in forever (and she enjoys this fact.) Another thing she enjoys, Angi's thick ass and balloons. Corinne is offering to hook up with Angi in 322 days (or less) and would even be open to a 3some with Abe. She also wanted Angi to play tic tac toe but she already took the middle square and let's face it, that's just cheating. Abe suggested a full on redo, send over a new version of the tic tac toe board. Angi may just scribble it out and start a new one but either way you're getting the longest version of the game ever. We started to pull this to a close with Abe actually offering to visit Corinne in jail but Angi could not. You see, with her striking beauty, it would probably cause a riot. Also, if you're a prisoner that likes the show, it should be noted that we only like people who rob banks or commit petty crimes like theft or setting your ex's car on fire. We don't want to hang with murderers, rapists and Jeffery Epstein. Anyway, Angi wants pics of Yvonne and more jail mail so again if you're somehow reading this, get us some more letters.
All the Rest:
Angi started the morning with a mistake, which can be overlooked but still she probably should be yelled at. Not thinking clearly (I blame the weather shift from July to November,) Angi told Abe that Stamos is going to be onAmerican Idol. In fact, he'll be lingering around for the rest of the season as a guest mentor. Faster than Abe could get his pants off, Jesse and the Rippers "Forever" was fired up and back into the playlist rotation once more. The thing is, Angi kind of set herself (and the rest of the audience) up for this one. Before coming in this morning, she had told Abe to have the song ready so let's shift the mistake to full blow error. Anyway, the Top 9 of this season are going to Disney World because in TV, covid doesn't exist anymore. After indulging in funnel cake and being fondled by Goofy, Stamos will mentor them on their Disney song night choices. Abe went on to knowledge drop the fact that Stamos is the drummer for The Beach Boys (which you would know if you've ever left the house once.) Angi was curious though, is this a full time thing or is it sporadic? All the time when they actually perform, Abe said as he dropped his boxers and imagined Stamos sitting in his lap. Angi mentioned how starved she is for music but would still go to a Wiggles concert before Jesse and the Rippers. This led to Abe dropping another knowledge nugget. Jesse and the Rippers were going to be at Riot Fest as a surprise guest but it didn't pan out. Perhaps they're going to play on Idol Abe suggested as he scrolled through his Stamos gallery on his phone. I should mention that like Abe was essentially losing his mind throughout the whole segment. Angi closed out this mess she made by apologizing to the audience for even bringing this up. To make up for it, she promised to delete Jesse and the Rippers from the system. Somehow I feel this isn't the last we've heard of the band. After all, I think Rock 95.5 is the only radio station in the country that has mentioned them in the last like 30 years. I guess let's leave this at To Be Continued....
Angi had a question for everyone today, have they ever been tested at a job interview. Not like a pee test, which if that was a requirement at 95.5, I think this would be a different show. No, she means a simple test, something stupid and pointless that let's an already power rushed to his head idiot dicate whether or not your deserve to work there. This happened with a guy who would have an interviewee following him into the kitchen during the interview and grab a cup of coffee for himself and the interviewee. Toward the end, he would hand the cup off to the potential worker and see what they did. If they took the cups back and washed them, they would proceed to round two of Win A Job! If they didn't, they were cut from that point. This btw is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Angi went on to explain that she wouldn't have washed the cup and Abe was just confused as to why anyone would do that? Abe went one step further than Angi though, stating that he just hates people who do job interviews all together. Angi though was curious if any of the roadies had experienced this kind of stupidity. Flipside, are you an interviewer that likes to incorporate tricks? Abe went on to tell a stop about a girl who was interviewing a guy for a job at Gamestop. Only they were at Starbucks and as Abe enjoyed his grilled cheese sandwich, he eavesdropped to the point of being enraged because the topic of biggest weakness came up. As we all know, asking someone what they're biggest weakness is makes you an absolute piece of garbage.
Finally, Angi dipped her toe back into yesterday's topic where the pair finally named their band. Mayo Bomb (yes, I'm furious Final Destination was rejected) is here each and every morning to get us through to 10 o' clock. Anyway, back to what could have been, Adam from sales at the station suggested they could be The Geico Gang (or Geico Gang after the "the" segment earlier) if they had gotten/get a Geico sponsorship (call us Geico, we want that ad money and are whores who will do anything.) This led to Angi making a (not so) shocking revelation. She is thirsty AF for the Geico gecko (no wonder she wants that sponsorship so bad.) She doesn't exactly know why she's so turned on by him, it's either the accent or his BDE (yep.) Whatever it is, it gets her going. Angi then tossed her poor daughter into the mix by explaining how much she loved Lightning McQueen fromCars. Abe started with (by started I mean it got gay very fast) Jasmine fromAladdinand Ariel fromThe Little Mermaid. After a little back and forth, it was decided Jasmine is hotter. Angi went on to explain how hot Bugs Bunny was when he cross dressed. Abe was all in on Jasmine's booty but they both decided Aladdin was a dork. Abe also threw in Trixie fromSpeedracerand both wanted to get it on with Jessica Rabbit (fromWho Framed Roger Rabbit.) We got through one call, from Rachel who told us Dimitri fromAnastasiawas hot. Then Abe jumped in like the wrecking ball he is and started to go on about how Skeletor was hot, had a great body, abs (start drinking now folks, hold on to the bottle.) Bobby called in to express his love for Lola fromSpace Jam. Tristan (who is named after Tristan Rogers fromGeneral Hospital) said she loved Lionel fromThundercats. Of course (raise your bottle) Abe went on about how hot Mumm-Ra was, he had a great body and was super jacked. Angi was all about Lionel's legs. Tom from DC, it was all about Betty and Wilma fromThe Flintstones. Head Roadie John the Stalker was all for Jane and Judy fromThe Jetsons. For me btw, Nathan Drake from the Uncharted games is daddy. When they gave him chest hair physics in Uncharted 4, it was over for me. Anyway, this insanity ended with Angi once again trying to sell Abe for half off because he's too much.
Request Wars:
Current Champion: Jamie
Challenger Song Choice: "Carry on My Wayward Son"
Champion Song Choice: "It's Been Awhile"
Observation: Lordy, I'm clutching everything today, my pearl (necklace,) and my beads. It was puny, it was ridiculous and I mean Jake's smack talk was hot hot hot.
Winner: Jake
The 8:30 Call Out:
Angi called out Chicago weather for being bi-polar.
Angi called out landscapers again because they keep ignoring her.
Abe called out Aaron Lewis from Staind because he hates him for crying in every song and now he's a tough guy.
10 o' Clock Toast:
The Geico Gecko. For inspiring today's biggest topic.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
Quote: "We want every person who listens to us in jail to send us letters." - Abe
Quote: "Do people still get leprosy, is there a vaccine for that?" Abe
Quote: "Don't you think covid started at Burning Man?" - Abe
Quote: "I'm the greatest person ever at hiring people. I can tell in 2 seconds if you're a piece of trash." Abe
Quote: "Skeletor had a great body, abs, pecs." - Abe
Quote: "You know Mumm-Ra had a great body too, he was jacked." - Abe
Quote: "I was such a hillbilly. I worked in a bait shop, I worked in a Sinclair gas station. (deep sigh) I'm disgusted with myself." - Angi
Quote: "I don't care if you look like you got hit by a truck. If you have a British accent, you can get it." - Angi
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